Beep Beep we're going to Sparby's

[airlockedmods]

Once everyone's in the dick limo and they've watched the Fantasy Sweet burn down behind them (dodging the flaming debris once the pressure builds up enough inside to make the whole thing go nuclear), it's off to the nearest fast food planet.

Which...is about five lightdays away.

Luckily for you, you have your very own Personal Artistic License to keep you entertained. So PAL bounces around the back of the limo, sitting in every lap that will have him, as he tells the story of Kip from the day he hatched as a tiny, impressionable smeet to present.

Sparing absolutely no detail.

Especially about the part where Kip failed his navigator's exam because he stopped at Then-Foodcourtia and crashed the ship into one of the greasy pustules that had sprouted on the planet's surface, destroying the aircraft and boiling his instructor alive in the fiery grease of hell.

So now there's a dick limo parked in the Sparby's parking lot. For anyone who had Arby's or Arby's-adjacent restaurants on their home planet... The menu's not much different. Everything meat-based is 100% beef, the milkshakes look delicious, and of course there are turnovers (apple, cherry, and chocolate).

Which... well, catch Kip and PAL in the corner shoving milkshakes and turnovers in their faces tbh.]

Welcome to Sparby's, Survivors.
You earned it.

Comments

[scourgingstars]

[look everything happens while i'm asleep so let's just say he was checking on the trunk pigeons or something]

...What did I miss this time.

[ratherdoweddings]

Hello! You're the one with all the memes!

[scourgingstars]

...You're not from Niflheim, are you?

[DON'T ASK.]

[ratherdoweddings]

I'm from Mars. But you're very popular here with the viewers! We sort of keep track of that thing.

[scourgingstars]

...My dear, you have five seconds to rephrase that before I assume the network caught up with us in record time.

[ratherdoweddings]

We're not with them.

[She pulls up her sleeve a bit to verify. That's definitely a PIP grafted on.]

In fact, we want to be as far away from them as we can until we can take them on.

[kingshaming]

Ah, just who I was hoping to see. Lord Izu- erm, Tenmyouji... may we sit and talk? I feel we have a lot to compare.

[He adjusts his sleeve just enough to flash his PIP]

[scourgingstars]

...Yes, under the condition you drop the titles and just call me 'Ardyn'.

[HE IS VERY QUICKLY CATCHING ON HERE, THANK GODS]

I suppose it unlikely the network's tracked us down to watch us in a place like this, and if anyone catches on I presume we can leave in quite the hurry. So despite this whole crowd, I'm sure we have time.

[kingshaming]

My thanks. I hope we will be able to parlay somewhere more... comfortable later, once we are both sure of the others intentions.

[He sits, looking all the part a young king even in his hoodie]

[scourgingstars]

I presume so, yes. [Ardyn took the chair opposite Xander, slouching slightly and looking more like he thought he owned the place.]

[Old habits.]

You would be the ones that got away, I presume. We're aware that such a situation arose in the past, though we rather hoped for some form of rescue.

[. . .]

Not that it matters much at this point.

[misanthropicprinciple]

[Well, that's his name, too, AND his dad, AND his king, so if Junpei immediately bristles and somehow finds a way to, without abandoning Yuuri, also put himself between Ardyn and This Guy, can anyone blame him?]

Who's asking?

[kingshaming]

I am Captain Xander of the Temerity, former Crown Prince of Nohr- and the Ultimate Champion. We are not your enemies.

[misanthropicprinciple]

I didn't understand seventy percent of that, and the thirty percent I did sounds like suspicious horseshit.

[shikosuki]

[ he's been squinting at Xander since he came back from the washroom, trying to figure out what it was about him that wasn't sitting right with him.

Then he introduces himself and suddenly it clicks. ]

Oh! [ and then he points in realization ] Nohrian scum!

[ ...that is quite possibly the most casual and cheerful way anyone's ever said that. ]

[serrata]

[ Hello, there is a tiny Japanese girl right here with Junpei glaring at this giant blonde man with the sort of look someone wears when looking at someone they confidently believe they could throw down and take in a fight. ]

[kingshaming]

Please calm yourself. I have no intention of harming him or any of you.

[serrata]

[ Suspicious look between Xander and Ardyn for a moment. But then she gives a little nod. She's still pretty clearly super ready to fight but that's to be expected at this point, honestly. ]

... No. I don't suppose you would, not out in public like this.

[motherfucking_ghost]

[AND here's this asshole in his menacing onesie, taller than the other two.]

[kingshaming]

[Sorry Church, while you are certainly the most intimidating of the group, he doesn't look at all put off]

Of course, I would assume your guardsmen would be within easy reach.

[scourgingstars]

Yes, don't mind them--all three of you stop that, we're not starting a fight out in the open!

[cyan_maid]

[G A S P there he is, Arbys Lucifer Skylight himself

Don't mind the small teenage girl from Xander's side just staring quietly.]

[scourgingstars]

...Yes?

[why are you staring at him]

Can I help you with something?

[cyan_maid]

[She squeaks softly, shakes her head.]

N-No...just...it's nice to meet you. All of you. In person.

[A pause.]

...I am so sorry, but I've seen nothing but memes of you on packages of Oreos for the past couple of weeks and it's rather surreal.

[scourgingstars]

...That's a new one.

[this man all but invented shitposting, jane.]

Would you like to start with a name, since I am quite sure you likely know all three of mine?

[misanthropicprinciple]

--Oreos?

[Wh-what? Okay. Junpei's grouchy exterior is starting to crack. Please tell him the memes.]