Beep Beep we're going to Sparby's

[airlockedmods]

Once everyone's in the dick limo and they've watched the Fantasy Sweet burn down behind them (dodging the flaming debris once the pressure builds up enough inside to make the whole thing go nuclear), it's off to the nearest fast food planet.

Which...is about five lightdays away.

Luckily for you, you have your very own Personal Artistic License to keep you entertained. So PAL bounces around the back of the limo, sitting in every lap that will have him, as he tells the story of Kip from the day he hatched as a tiny, impressionable smeet to present.

Sparing absolutely no detail.

Especially about the part where Kip failed his navigator's exam because he stopped at Then-Foodcourtia and crashed the ship into one of the greasy pustules that had sprouted on the planet's surface, destroying the aircraft and boiling his instructor alive in the fiery grease of hell.

So now there's a dick limo parked in the Sparby's parking lot. For anyone who had Arby's or Arby's-adjacent restaurants on their home planet... The menu's not much different. Everything meat-based is 100% beef, the milkshakes look delicious, and of course there are turnovers (apple, cherry, and chocolate).

Which... well, catch Kip and PAL in the corner shoving milkshakes and turnovers in their faces tbh.]

Welcome to Sparby's, Survivors.
You earned it.

Comments

[cyan_maid]

[Airlocked is a shitpost of a game with lots of hilarious moments.]

...She'd...become like a mother to me. I'd never had one before.

[scourgingstars]

[we're in the middle of an arby's and everyone is shitposting about fanservice spaceships and kigurumis]

You have my most sincere condolences, whatever they may be worth. But if what I've heard so far was accurate, then perhaps even she and Yuuri's friend aren't entirely lost to us yet. I do hope you've not forsaken all chance of getting them back.

[. . .]

It occurs to me that optimism likely sounds strange when you've likely seen the entire-... [he gestured vaguely to his face, not quite using Church's term for it] --but I do assure you I'm being sincere.

[cyan_maid]

[She shakes her head.] No, not at all - for what it's worth, I'm not giving up. I believe sincerely in everyone I've weathered this storm with, and I'll do whatever I can to help make things right again.

[At the gesture, she smiles wryly.] The entire what, shitshow?

[scourgingstars]

That is one possible term for it, yes.

[see, dunking on ardyn makes everyone feel better.]

I think that we'll all get along quite well, despite the...slightly rocky initial start.

[cyan_maid]

[Awwww, said nobody ever about Ardyn, except Jane in her head because when you get mindjacked by Her Imperious Condescension, Literal Final Fantasy Antichrist is not scary.]

I certainly won't assume it'll be smooth sailing from here on out, but...hopefully with more people working together, we'll be able to really do something.

[scourgingstars]

We all seem to have roughly the same goals in mind. Hopefully for now, that will be enough to get by despite some slightly difficult personalities.

[cyan_maid]

I'm willing to work with it! I'm still getting used to the everything of space, but I'd like to think I...can be pretty open-minded, nowadays.

[scourgingstars]

I will admit, space travel's a little new for me. But after the first thousand years or so of watching an entire world advance, you tend to take changes more or less in stride.

[Or go insane.]

[He's still working on not doing that.]

[cyan_maid]

[Do you know who's been getting used to distracting sad Dads

This girl]

If it helps to think of the engine as space horses, I won't judge.

[scourgingstars]

I do know what engines are. Along with radios, phones, cars, trains, airships, pilot-driven mecha, firearms, and a wide range of things I'm sure most of the others think me a complete idiot about.

[this is the look of 'give me some credit here']

I'm ancient, not an idiot.

[cyan_maid]

I'm just checking! Xander's world doesn't have any of that - I want to make sure everyone can understand everything in some sort of context, since there's still stuff I don't get, either!

[scourgingstars]

I didn't take it personally. I know that we're not remotely all near the same amount of knowledge in a technological sense--Arianna, in particular.

[cyan_maid]

...Some things she mentioned remind me of someone we knew, actually. Particularly about the...Tree thing. But Ricky was from an equivalent of my time, so...

[scourgingstars]

...You may want to discuss that with her. I'm afraid I don't know much of where she comes from, only that it sounded to be in dire circumstances.

[cyan_maid]

Then I suppose that's something I'll do.

[scourgingstars]

We'll likely have a considerable amount of information to exchange in general soon enough; I've no idea what might have been edited that you haven't seen yet, and clearly all of you hold a perspective we know nothing of.

[cyan_maid]

Honestly, I'm sure quite a bit was edited. The Network really liked its musical stingers and dramatic head turns.

[scourgingstars]

...

[Ardyn came close to asking if the network managed to broadcast their memories, and immediately decided that was not a conversation he was equipped to handle out in the open like this.]

It sounds quite the dramatic affair. Perhaps I should not be so surprised.

[cyan_maid]

[Hah, well, that'd be...interesting if they had? But I'm gonna go with no, they didn't, if Ardyn ever asks.]

Well, how else are they going to make sure people "stay tuned"? It's...really disgusting, whether they stuff people in a simulation or not.

[scourgingstars]

That, I am less surprised by. It seems that the kind of things humans find entertaining applies to species across the universe as well.

[cyan_maid]

I mean...I understand the concept of bloodsports in terms of ancient civilizations? But the audience knew those people were putting their lives on the line, whether they cared or not. This whole universe thinks we're just really good actors. That none of the pain any of us went through is real.

[And if that doesn't just make a girl wanna wring an alien's neck then what will]

[scourgingstars]

Even if they did know, I fear it would not change very much. Most people love having evil to hate and heroes to cheer for, no matter how much the true situation may not be in black and white.

[cyan_maid]

...Still. That doesn't make any of this less messed up.

[She really is not fond of the Network, but the idea of people learning the truth and not caring...it does make her stomach turn.]

[scourgingstars]

No, it doesn't. In fact, that might only make it worse.

So we'll just have to make sure we put a stop to it regardless.

[cyan_maid]

[A firm nod. She's a teenage girl, but she sure is hella determined, that's for sure.]

That's the goal. Save our friends, make it stop. Beyond that...well, I don't expect the stuff before "after" to be easy, or fast.