theairlock | Beep Beep we're going to Sparby's

Once everyone's in the dick limo and they've watched the Fantasy Sweet burn down behind them (dodging the flaming debris once the pressure builds up enough inside to make the whole thing go nuclear), it's off to the nearest fast food planet.

Which...is about five lightdays away.

Luckily for you, you have your very own Personal Artistic License to keep you entertained. So PAL bounces around the back of the limo, sitting in every lap that will have him, as he tells the story of Kip from the day he hatched as a tiny, impressionable smeet to present.

Sparing absolutely no detail.

Especially about the part where Kip failed his navigator's exam because he stopped at Then-Foodcourtia and crashed the ship into one of the greasy pustules that had sprouted on the planet's surface, destroying the aircraft and boiling his instructor alive in the fiery grease of hell.

So now there's a dick limo parked in the Sparby's parking lot. For anyone who had Arby's or Arby's-adjacent restaurants on their home planet... The menu's not much different. Everything meat-based is 100% beef, the milkshakes look delicious, and of course there are turnovers (apple, cherry, and chocolate).

Which... well, catch Kip and PAL in the corner shoving milkshakes and turnovers in their faces tbh.]

Welcome to Sparby's, Survivors.
You earned it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I thought we weren't telling them about the itasha!

He asked!! It was the worst thing I could think of!!!

I hope we didn't just cause relationship problems.

...If a relationship can weather repeated murder, it can weather this.

You know, that's true, and they didn't even murder each other...

So they'll be alright.

[Lowers her voice,] And I'm certainly not going to let anybody ruin a healthy relationship over gross neckbeardy merchandise.

I wonder if Lightning-san would want that mouse pad.

...I'm not going to try finding out.

[What if we got Soldier Mom pissed]

(no subject)

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ratherdoweddings - 2017-07-10 16:33 (UTC) - Expand

It's not the worst thing I can think of.

[Whether that's because his imagination is a garbage can or because he's more intrigued than horrified by the idea of Spaceship Girlfriend, I leave up to you.]

[Just. This face.]

We've seen worse, but we don't want to think about it.

What the fuck is itasha?

Uhh... it's a car with decals of characters on it. Usually, umm, fanservicey! And the really decked-out ones have body pillow covers over the seat backs and merchandise all over the interior.

We kind of found one of Wakasa-san in a nurse outfit.

[ABRUPTLY STOPS BREATHING]

Please don't die!

[GRABS HIS SHOULDERS TO SHAKE HIM]

...Is this weird Japanese porn stuff? [Y'ALL WEEBS]

I guess you could put porn on your car, but I think you'd get a ticket.

Not this time. It's just weird painfulness-- a "pain car". Literally. Because it's so cringey and embarrassing it causes physical pain and no one wants to see it but they force you to have to look at it when they pass you anyway.

[ Said with all the familiarity of someone having war flashbacks. Or just someone unfortunate enough to be related to the living embodiment of this whole "ita" concept. ]

[ there is a noise like a dying cat as Yuuri just collapses against the table with her face down so no one can ever look or talk to her again ]

[A;LFKJASD;KLFJASFKL; RII-SAN IS DEAD?!]

I'M SORRY THIS IS WHY I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T GOING TO TELL YOU

[ A muffled wail from the defeated heap that used to be Yuuri Wakasa ]

Why a nurse outfit of all things?! Why?

[ the lingerie, she could understand. she may or may not have made a point of wearing it (which she can only hope never reached the airwaves). but nurse??? why???? ]

Well, it was mentioned on the show, and... I guess people started drawing?

When did the idea of me in a nurse outfit ever get mentioned?!

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ratherdoweddings - 2017-07-12 01:02 (UTC) - Expand

...This explains so much about the Regalia.