theairlock | Beep Beep we're going to Sparby's

Once everyone's in the dick limo and they've watched the Fantasy Sweet burn down behind them (dodging the flaming debris once the pressure builds up enough inside to make the whole thing go nuclear), it's off to the nearest fast food planet.

Which...is about five lightdays away.

Luckily for you, you have your very own Personal Artistic License to keep you entertained. So PAL bounces around the back of the limo, sitting in every lap that will have him, as he tells the story of Kip from the day he hatched as a tiny, impressionable smeet to present.

Sparing absolutely no detail.

Especially about the part where Kip failed his navigator's exam because he stopped at Then-Foodcourtia and crashed the ship into one of the greasy pustules that had sprouted on the planet's surface, destroying the aircraft and boiling his instructor alive in the fiery grease of hell.

So now there's a dick limo parked in the Sparby's parking lot. For anyone who had Arby's or Arby's-adjacent restaurants on their home planet... The menu's not much different. Everything meat-based is 100% beef, the milkshakes look delicious, and of course there are turnovers (apple, cherry, and chocolate).

Which... well, catch Kip and PAL in the corner shoving milkshakes and turnovers in their faces tbh.]

Welcome to Sparby's, Survivors.
You earned it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...If a relationship can weather repeated murder, it can weather this.

You know, that's true, and they didn't even murder each other...

So they'll be alright.

[Lowers her voice,] And I'm certainly not going to let anybody ruin a healthy relationship over gross neckbeardy merchandise.

I wonder if Lightning-san would want that mouse pad.

...I'm not going to try finding out.

[What if we got Soldier Mom pissed]

Thaaaaaaaat's true. She got pretty scary sometimes.

If there's any of that stuff still around once we get everyone out, and she wants some? I won't stop her. But I'm not going to make her a Xander gift basket for when she wakes up.

Yeah, she'd probably beat us up. [sigh] She took it badly enough when we gave them all those sabotages that week to try and set them up.

Well, I didn't give them sabotages that week. I got some. But it was kind of fun to be absurd with them.

I thought the spreader bar was a great idea! It did sort of mess with the plan to get Lightning-san to teach him to swim, but I thought it'd make her happy to help him with things.

...Did you really give him that bar, Yurika? I can't remember if you told me or not.

I think so, but it's hard to remember. There was a lot going on that week.

There's been a lot going on for months. [A tired sigh.] Well...at least you helped the Xander and Bolton shippers come up with a name for their ship? Even if it is really messed up.