Beep Beep we're going to Sparby's

[airlockedmods]

Once everyone's in the dick limo and they've watched the Fantasy Sweet burn down behind them (dodging the flaming debris once the pressure builds up enough inside to make the whole thing go nuclear), it's off to the nearest fast food planet.

Which...is about five lightdays away.

Luckily for you, you have your very own Personal Artistic License to keep you entertained. So PAL bounces around the back of the limo, sitting in every lap that will have him, as he tells the story of Kip from the day he hatched as a tiny, impressionable smeet to present.

Sparing absolutely no detail.

Especially about the part where Kip failed his navigator's exam because he stopped at Then-Foodcourtia and crashed the ship into one of the greasy pustules that had sprouted on the planet's surface, destroying the aircraft and boiling his instructor alive in the fiery grease of hell.

So now there's a dick limo parked in the Sparby's parking lot. For anyone who had Arby's or Arby's-adjacent restaurants on their home planet... The menu's not much different. Everything meat-based is 100% beef, the milkshakes look delicious, and of course there are turnovers (apple, cherry, and chocolate).

Which... well, catch Kip and PAL in the corner shoving milkshakes and turnovers in their faces tbh.]

Welcome to Sparby's, Survivors.
You earned it.

Comments

[misanthropicprinciple]

--Oreos?

[Wh-what? Okay. Junpei's grouchy exterior is starting to crack. Please tell him the memes.]

[cyan_maid]

You have to see it to believe it.

[There is definitely a folder of memes saved on their space computer for the sole purpose of making people laugh]

[misanthropicprinciple]

[Nudges Ardyn in the arm.]

Dad, next stop, we definitely have to go hit up a conbini or a supermarket or something. Memes or no, I have to know if there's real, actual merch with your face on it.

[Back up to Jane:]

Are any of the rest of us countercultural currency?

[scourgingstars]

[you may be surprised]

...That actually does sound hilarious.

[cyan_maid]

As in...memes or on merchandise? Because the merch is...erm, you might not want to see what some fans come up with.

[There is a mousepad with Xander's butt and waaaaay creepier body pillows than Kip posing seductively.]

[misanthropicprinciple]

[Ohhhh my god.]

No. No, I really, really do.

[cyan_maid]

...You know those weirdos who mod their cars with pictures of those Japanese cartoon girls with the big boobs on everything and use body pillows as seat covers? Imagine a small spaceship done up that way with pictures of your girlfriend.

[serrata]

[ There's no words, just a muffled screech from where Yuuri's face has disappeared into her hands. ]

[cyan_maid]

I-I'm sorry! I think it's creepy too!!!

[misanthropicprinciple]

[And Yuuri's screech is just enough of a warning for Junpei Tenmyouji, Champion of Not Having a Sense of Self-Preservation, to not immediately blurt out, 'I'll buy it!']

That's. Terrible. The worst. Unbelievable.

[cyan_maid]

...Are you lying to me, buster?

[You're stalling.]

[misanthropicprinciple]

[Jane, don't call him out like this, Yuuri is right there.]

I would at least need to, uh, see the evidence, to see exactly how sick people's minds are before I judge them. You know. Because I'm a detective.

[serrata]

[ Hissed, scarlet faced, from behind her hands: ] I hate you. No, I don't even know you. I have never met you in my life and already, I hate you.

[ LET HER DIE ]

[cyan_maid]

[She raises an eyebrow. You're a horrid liar, Jumpy Tenmeowji.]

Hm. Of course. Yes, why not. Very admirable of you, Detective, taking the plunge to investigate this gross misuse of your dear dame's visage. If you happen to need another gumshoe on the case, please, do give me a call.

[Don't worry Yuuri she won't let him waste all y'all guys' credits on a creepy spaceship]

[desperateprayer]

................

[ CLARITH IS AFRAID TO ASK WHAT EXISTS OF HER. ]

[ratherdoweddings]

I thought we weren't telling them about the itasha!

[cyan_maid]

He asked!! It was the worst thing I could think of!!!

[ratherdoweddings]

I hope we didn't just cause relationship problems.

[cyan_maid]

...If a relationship can weather repeated murder, it can weather this.

[misanthropicprinciple]

It's not the worst thing I can think of.

[Whether that's because his imagination is a garbage can or because he's more intrigued than horrified by the idea of Spaceship Girlfriend, I leave up to you.]

[cyan_maid]

[Just. This face.]

[ratherdoweddings]

We've seen worse, but we don't want to think about it.

[motherfucking_ghost]

What the fuck is itasha?

[ratherdoweddings]

Uhh... it's a car with decals of characters on it. Usually, umm, fanservicey! And the really decked-out ones have body pillow covers over the seat backs and merchandise all over the interior.

We kind of found one of Wakasa-san in a nurse outfit.

[misanthropicprinciple]

[ABRUPTLY STOPS BREATHING]