Week 4

[airlockedmods]

[After everything that this case was, you probably don't want to deal with anything else. But you wake up on Sunday, just like before, with some new memories, and some new stores to check out.

Let's see what this week brings.]

Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday

(( Don't forget to check in, and check your memory regains! You can also stop by the gacha machine and Xander's office hours. ))

Comments

[burninglight]

No, I mean why do we keep bickering like godsdamned idiots instead of holding a conversation!?

[a fair question]

[motherfucking_ghost]

Because a conversation will get serious.

[burninglight]

So what if it does? Maybe it should, rather than just pretend none of this is even happening.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Uhhh maybe we could instead not do that. Do you want to do that? You want to talk about this bullshit? Really? Why.

[burninglight]

A better question is 'why do you want to ignore it'?

[motherfucking_ghost]

Because every waking moment I remember there's like three layers of amnesic bullshit going on, the more I want to pull the covers over my head and never, ever come out again?

[burninglight]

And that will accomplish...what, exactly?

[motherfucking_ghost]

Y'know, I wasn't even gonna come over here, at all, I just had to--the wing and the hat, you fuck--but I can just go. I think I'll just go.

[burninglight]

Church, just-...wait. Please.

I promised Touko I'd not run off and get myself killed. So if I'm going to live even a little longer, I want...I want to understand this. To understand what kind of people decided a fallen healer was worth calling a friend.

If anything happens to either of us, can you truly say you would rather die not knowing?

[motherfucking_ghost]

Of course I want to know! I agreed with you. I wanna know. I just--I wanna know now, all at once, not this--week by week remember-fest like we seem to have had last time, and I don't even know what's real.

[burninglight]

I know, I--I can't stand this either, not knowing a damn thing and missing some miserable stretch of time, knowing we were friends and yet feeling like I don't know a single one of you-

[Ardyn quickly broke off, shaking his head and replacing the hat to hide his eyes.]

...I'm sorry. If you'd prefer I left you alone, then...that's fine.

[motherfucking_ghost]

...I don't...even know where to start, okay? I'm scared. Like that letter. And you know what I do when I'm scared? I fucking get angry and ignore the thing that makes me scared. I refute it and say it's not my problem.

I don't know what to do with this. I don't know what we're supposed to do with this. I miss Fal--Finn, and I feel like I haven't even met him but I have. I don't...

[burninglight]

...I think I am, too. Scared, I mean--and I didn't think I knew what that felt like anymore.

I only thought that if we just took a while to actually work through and examine this whole disaster, that...it wouldn't seem such a daunting and terrifying uncertainty. Or at least it would be one that neither of us is alone in carrying.

I want to help you, and I barely comprehend why. I don't know if I even can, or if any attempt just makes things worse.

[motherfucking_ghost]

I just wanna whack myself in the head until candy comes out, is how I feel. I'm way too sober for this conversation.

You think sitting down and talking it out is really gonna...help? Us?

[burninglight]

I think it has as fair a chance of working as anything else, if we can stop shouting at each other for a while.

...I also had a bottle of whiskey fall out of that machine, if that helps.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Good. I shared mine with Junp--he's holding vodka for me, shit. I was too, uh, rolling around to be trusted with a glass container.

...So uh.

So.

You.

...Wanna talk about...this stuff...right now?

And. Like. Here? Maybe?

[burninglight]

I'm not about to force you, if you aren't prepared for the potentially awkward conversation.

But I would at least point out 'if not now, when' as a counterargument.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Never? Probably never.

[burninglight]

'Never' isn't really going to work.

[motherfucking_ghost]

...Yeah. Uh.

...Okay.

...[Well fuck, if they're doing this, he's sitting down and looking like he's 0.2 seconds from bolting, just, perpetually, and also looking around for others like they're having an illegal fucking conversation and the cops are gonna show up.]

I'm still stuck on not knowing where to even start with this nonsense bullshit. If there's a place to start.

[burninglight]

I can't say I'm sure either.

[just gonna. nudge that cinnamon bad decisions bottle over.]

I suppose, just...pick somewhere to begin and carry on from there?

[motherfucking_ghost]

[Liquid courage? Liquid coura--]

Holy shit, why are you drinking this, it's made of fire.

[burninglight]

Turns out I like cinnamon. I suppose I learned something about myself today.

[motherfucking_ghost]

You mean you didn't know? Haven't you tasted things before?

Or I guess you...remember tasting things. Now.

[burninglight]

I didn't have a sense of taste back then. I remember-...trying not to let on to anyone else that I wasn't human, because I didn't know what I was. As far as I can recall, you might be the only one who knew.

Whatever's happened between then and now, this is the first I can remember having needed to eat anything.