theairlock | The Mock Trial

[Jesse McCree is dead, the first victim of, what the Overseers seem to hope, is a long game of motives and murder for whatever their reasons. With the investigation completed, C.E.C.E.'s voice comes over the system and directs the Champions to proceed to the locked elevator door at the end of the hallway. Once all Champions are on board, the elevator begins a slow descent down beyond any area that they've been able to explore so far. At least the elevator music is charming.

When the elevator door opens, the Champions enter a courtroom with 21 podiums arranged in a circle and each one marked with a name. McCree's face grins casually at the 20 surviving members from one of the podiums, a greyscale portrait in honor of the dead.]

Congratulations. We have now entered the trial portion of the test. I trust that you will do your best to determine who disturbed the peace by committing murder. Once the culprit has been found, they will face an appropriate punishment for their crime. If you fail to determine the culprit, however, they will be allowed to leave the space station and the rest of you will face punishment instead.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Right then, back to Naho]

Well, in any case...yeah. She didn't like my lifestyle, and looking back, I couldn't blame her. And we both did things to hurt one another. But...as time went by and things happened...as we got older and realized what was important...well, we got back together.

[SEE he was going places with this story]

[AWWWWWWWWW THATS CUTE]

...Master wouldn't leave me for something like that, right? Yes, of course! We're contractually bound anyway, so I can't leave even if I tried to.

[tamamo stop whispering so loudly]

...'Master'?

[TAMAMO]

Oh? Yes! I'm married to Master.

["some fuckin kinky shit going on here" is not the impression she wants to give but here it is]

Careful, takin' a name like that's a sure sign of egomania.

[Says the man who calls himself 'Doctor'.]

...He doesn't have this stupid-lookin' beard, does he?

[There is no way, but he has to be sure.]

She's a woman!

[That answers the question.] And it's not her real name. I'm just her helpful little Servant, that's all.

[That explains NOTHING but hey, Hakuno sure isn't the one with egomania here.]

Oh!

[RICKY HAS HEARD THIS KIND OF TALK BEFORE! SHE UNDERSTANDS THIS!]

I didn't realize you were a maid.

[...she's trying okay]

Excuse me!? I'm her one and only wife! Not a maid! I do everything a maid does, for free, and she can't say ANYTHING to stop me from that!

[...]

I think if you're a servant, and she's your master, and you do everything a maid does, that means you're a maid.

I'm her wife!

[TRUST ME THIS IS NOT THE HILL YOU WANT TO DIE ON]

You can be both, can't you?

[is she going to die literally]

Absolutely not! Being a maid implies I'm doing this all for money, or out of obligation. [Well, Tamamo, you gotta explain what "Servant" means, then.]

But other than the contract between us, EVERYTHING I do for my Master is out of free will. From cooking to defeating all others who dare to face her!

[The mention of a contract sure isn't dispelling the idea.]

Maids can choose to be maids because they care about their masters. I know a maid who did something similar to that.

Well... I guess so.

[She... does care about Hakuno, in her cold, dead, mass-murderer heart.]

...But it's still clear I am not her maid! That is all there is to it.

Well, maybe you should be, if you're a servant anyway.

[~~she'd look good in the uniform~~ I MEAN RICKY DEFINITELY LIKES BOYS]

Nonsense! All that maid business should be left to my... other... tail.

[That makes no sense until you realize Tamamo-no-Mae has 9 tails, and right now only possesses 1. The others actually have taken a life of their own. The Berserker tail does look pretty good in a maid apron.]

Your other...

[Ricky is just going to stare at Tamamo's butt for a moment in confusion. How has her life reached this point.]

[She swishes her tail.] Oh, I had nine.

[Can you imagine 9 of them. 9 Tamamos in the same room.]

(no subject)

voltrounds - 2017-01-14 22:49 (UTC) - Expand

mikooon - 2017-01-14 22:53 (UTC) - Expand

voltrounds - 2017-01-14 22:55 (UTC) - Expand

Aren't those a wife's obligations?

[Granted she doesn't do the cooking and cleaning part. But she tells the servants to.]

Yes, but I happily chose to be a wife! All other women have no right to take that role away from me, and I am much better than any maid.

[She gets incredibly jealous in canon and swears to castrate all polygamists. Tamamo's insecure as fuck, but DAMN she will pretend till the end of the earth she is the best waifu ever.]

It'd be pretty poor if a maid was able to outclass you.

[Sorry Tamamo. You're speaking to the woman who got the Champion Housewife title so someone thinks otherwise.]

[CHAMPION HOUSEWIFE INDEED... Tamamo is trying to justify to herself that she doesn't get that title because Hakuno doesn't actually have a house. Yes. Perfect sense.]

Absolutely no one here can outclass me! I can cook, clean, and absolute annihilate all of Master's enemies without breaking a sweat. [YEAH SEE THAT'S THE REAL REASON YOU'RE NOT A TYPICAL HOUSEWIFE, TAMAMO, YOU'RE LITERALLY A MURDERER]

...Right. You must miss them a lot...

[She might be implying something there.]

mikooon - 2017-01-14 22:45 (UTC) - Expand

refusedtoleave - 2017-01-14 22:59 (UTC) - Expand

mikooon - 2017-01-14 23:01 (UTC) - Expand

refusedtoleave - 2017-01-14 23:35 (UTC) - Expand

The two aren't actually mutually exclusive.

...That actually narrows it down less than I'd hope, but it's not important for now.