The Mock Trial

[airlockedmods]

[Jesse McCree is dead, the first victim of, what the Overseers seem to hope, is a long game of motives and murder for whatever their reasons. With the investigation completed, C.E.C.E.'s voice comes over the system and directs the Champions to proceed to the locked elevator door at the end of the hallway. Once all Champions are on board, the elevator begins a slow descent down beyond any area that they've been able to explore so far. At least the elevator music is charming.

When the elevator door opens, the Champions enter a courtroom with 21 podiums arranged in a circle and each one marked with a name. McCree's face grins casually at the 20 surviving members from one of the podiums, a greyscale portrait in honor of the dead.]

Congratulations. We have now entered the trial portion of the test. I trust that you will do your best to determine who disturbed the peace by committing murder. Once the culprit has been found, they will face an appropriate punishment for their crime. If you fail to determine the culprit, however, they will be allowed to leave the space station and the rest of you will face punishment instead.

Comments

[voltrounds]

I think if you're a servant, and she's your master, and you do everything a maid does, that means you're a maid.

[mikooon]

I'm her wife!

[TRUST ME THIS IS NOT THE HILL YOU WANT TO DIE ON]

[voltrounds]

You can be both, can't you?

[is she going to die literally]

[mikooon]

Absolutely not! Being a maid implies I'm doing this all for money, or out of obligation. [Well, Tamamo, you gotta explain what "Servant" means, then.]

But other than the contract between us, EVERYTHING I do for my Master is out of free will. From cooking to defeating all others who dare to face her!

[voltrounds]

[The mention of a contract sure isn't dispelling the idea.]

Maids can choose to be maids because they care about their masters. I know a maid who did something similar to that.

[mikooon]

Well... I guess so.

[She... does care about Hakuno, in her cold, dead, mass-murderer heart.]

...But it's still clear I am not her maid! That is all there is to it.

[voltrounds]

Well, maybe you should be, if you're a servant anyway.

[she'd look good in the uniform I MEAN RICKY DEFINITELY LIKES BOYS]

[mikooon]

Nonsense! All that maid business should be left to my... other... tail.

[That makes no sense until you realize Tamamo-no-Mae has 9 tails, and right now only possesses 1. The others actually have taken a life of their own. The Berserker tail does look pretty good in a maid apron.]

[voltrounds]

Your other...

[Ricky is just going to stare at Tamamo's butt for a moment in confusion. How has her life reached this point.]

[mikooon]

[She swishes her tail.] Oh, I had nine.

[Can you imagine 9 of them. 9 Tamamos in the same room.]

[voltrounds]

[Fortunately she doesn't know how to correctly imagine that since she still doesn't understand how they got to tails from here, but if she did she'd be horrified.]

What happened to them?

[mikooon]

Oh, I cut them all off.

[AND THEN SHE NEVER EXPLAINS WHAT SHE MEANS

The 8 other Tamamos only formed upon being cut off from the original, but with the way she says it, it's like she killed them or something.] They're all nightmares to deal with, too, so I sealed them away, never to be seen again.

[JDNSKDNSNDJD] After all, as the strongest Tamamo-no-Mae incarnation, only I should have the privilege of being at Master'a side! No one else shall be allowed to form a contract.

[voltrounds]

[Ricky is horrified, then confused, then completely confused.]

...I see.

[What the hell?]

[refusedtoleave]

Aren't those a wife's obligations?

[Granted she doesn't do the cooking and cleaning part. But she tells the servants to.]

[mikooon]

Yes, but I happily chose to be a wife! All other women have no right to take that role away from me, and I am much better than any maid.

[She gets incredibly jealous in canon and swears to castrate all polygamists. Tamamo's insecure as fuck, but DAMN she will pretend till the end of the earth she is the best waifu ever.]

[refusedtoleave]

It'd be pretty poor if a maid was able to outclass you.

[Sorry Tamamo. You're speaking to the woman who got the Champion Housewife title so someone thinks otherwise.]

[mikooon]

[CHAMPION HOUSEWIFE INDEED... Tamamo is trying to justify to herself that she doesn't get that title because Hakuno doesn't actually have a house. Yes. Perfect sense.]

Absolutely no one here can outclass me! I can cook, clean, and absolute annihilate all of Master's enemies without breaking a sweat. [YEAH SEE THAT'S THE REAL REASON YOU'RE NOT A TYPICAL HOUSEWIFE, TAMAMO, YOU'RE LITERALLY A MURDERER]

[refusedtoleave]

...Right. You must miss them a lot...

[She might be implying something there.]

[mikooon]

[You are not wrong. Tamamo would've probably either sulked for 500 years or go full yandere if Hakuno rejected her.]

Mhm! They must be looking all over for me, too. I promised to stay with them till the end, so I'd better get back soon!

[Till the end? Get back soon? OMINOUS]

[refusedtoleave]

[You know, as soon as this trial is over. Natsuhi is going to stay the opposite side of the station to Tamamo at all times.]

How do you intend to do that then?

[She's not really expecting an answer.]

[mikooon]

Well, the only way they've offered us right now is murder, but I'd prefer less conniving means.

[Here's your answer! SHE HAS NO FEAR, LIKE DUH THEY ONLY OFFERED MURDER, SSSSO]

[refusedtoleave]

You better start taking this seriously then. If they really intend to kill us for not finding the culprit...

[Unless of course, you are the culprit.]

[stitch_in_time]

The two aren't actually mutually exclusive.