THE FIFTH INVESTIGATION

[airlockedmods]

[As usual, the day begins at seven a.m.

Good morning, Champions.]

Comments

[motherfucking_ghost]

Pff, this is nothing, you should've heard me in the hottub with Junpei. [don't ask (but also please ask) (he needs to share the story with everyone at some point) (serves junpei right tbh)

He lifts his head, though, grinning and very close.]

And yes, I did just do that. That's a thing that I did. It was not, in fact, a hallucination.

[scourgingstars]

[...he doesn't think he even wants to know]

[(ardyn does not realize this is vital information)]

Do you make a habit out of kissing people with a core body temperature ranking around 'how are you still alive', or just me?

[motherfucking_ghost]

Well, I used to be a robot, and so was my girlfriend, so I mean, and also you're still alive so it's not necrophilia, and also I'm dead but this body isn't--

Basically what I'm saying is, do you really expect this shit to make sense? I've been touching you enough that while it's still weird, it doesn't really bother me all that much.

[scourgingstars]

It was a joke, Leonard, not a deeper question on the technical implications of necrophilia. And no, I don't see why anything would follow any sense of logic now.

[motherfucking_ghost]

[Opens mouth.

Closes mouth.]

You just called me Leonard.

[scourgingstars]

...You call me all kinds of stupid things. What of it?

[fight him.]

[motherfucking_ghost]

Wow, I wish I could even argue with that, but it's totally a stupid name that you never call me.

[scourgingstars]

Fine, then simply forget about it.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Noooononono, this is you being affectionate, isn't it?

[scourgingstars]

'Being affectionate' was 'not punching you across this hallway because you kissed me.'

[motherfucking_ghost]

And I appreciate that, and being affectionate is also you calling me Leonard, isn't it. [the callouts will continue until morale improves]

...So, hypothetically, if I kissed you again, would you then punch me across the room or...

[scourgingstars]

That depends on if you're merely trying to divert my attention from the fact that you're still wearing my coat.

[motherfucking_ghost]

You want your coat back? Maybe you'll just have to take it.

Alternately, I could put it somewhere else it'll look good, along with the rest of your clothes.

[scourgingstars]

[CHURCH...]

Some days you really are lucky I don't kill you. [he said, probably as a joke] If I wouldn't sleep with you when I was drunk, whatever makes you think I would sober?

[motherfucking_ghost]

You passed out, you nerd.

[scourgingstars]

Fell asleep, there's a difference. Besides, I do still have standards.

[motherfucking_ghost]

You fell asleep pretty hard from copious alcohol consumption, so I feel like the difference is minor, and just how high are your standards?

[scourgingstars]

Higher than you think, but low enough to know how to get you to stop talking.

[motherfucking_ghost]

I can't tell if I'm supposed to be insulted or if that's an invitation for me to find some way to occupy my mouth.

[scourgingstars]

It means you talk more than I do, and it's terribly annoying. I might almost try to get you to forget how to talk and start babbling like an idiot again.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Now, see... [Good thing neither of them have any sense of personal space, because man that is Church leaning very close.] That sounds like a challenge.

[scourgingstars]

No, that one was a threat. What you're doing is a challenge.

[motherfucking_ghost]

I'm used to both. And sometimes a threat is a promise.

[Mmmmhow about another look around real quick before hey Ardyn are you tired of Church pressing you against walls yet, it's been a while, and don't mind if his hands work their way down that stringbean body and sit right at his hips.

Sorry did I say hips, I mean ass. Hips, then ass. Yes good.]

Maybe you'll rise to the challenge?

[scourgingstars]

You're not one for personal space at all, are you?

[Church did not, somehow, get punched for that. What he did get was Ardyn's hand flat on his face, shoving him back with a quiet laugh.]

[motherfucking_ghost]

Awwwwwww c'mon! [It's a little muffled for having a hand in his face okay. He leans back with the shove, effectively removing his hands from Ardyn's bod, almost but not quite to tipping over point.] That was a good line.