THE FIFTH INVESTIGATION

[airlockedmods]

[As usual, the day begins at seven a.m.

Good morning, Champions.]

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[motherfucking_ghost]

[Opens mouth.

Closes mouth.]

You just called me Leonard.

[scourgingstars]

...You call me all kinds of stupid things. What of it?

[fight him.]

[motherfucking_ghost]

Wow, I wish I could even argue with that, but it's totally a stupid name that you never call me.

[scourgingstars]

Fine, then simply forget about it.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Noooononono, this is you being affectionate, isn't it?

[scourgingstars]

'Being affectionate' was 'not punching you across this hallway because you kissed me.'

[motherfucking_ghost]

And I appreciate that, and being affectionate is also you calling me Leonard, isn't it. [the callouts will continue until morale improves]

...So, hypothetically, if I kissed you again, would you then punch me across the room or...

[scourgingstars]

That depends on if you're merely trying to divert my attention from the fact that you're still wearing my coat.

[motherfucking_ghost]

You want your coat back? Maybe you'll just have to take it.

Alternately, I could put it somewhere else it'll look good, along with the rest of your clothes.

[scourgingstars]

[CHURCH...]

Some days you really are lucky I don't kill you. [he said, probably as a joke] If I wouldn't sleep with you when I was drunk, whatever makes you think I would sober?

[motherfucking_ghost]

You passed out, you nerd.

[scourgingstars]

Fell asleep, there's a difference. Besides, I do still have standards.

[motherfucking_ghost]

You fell asleep pretty hard from copious alcohol consumption, so I feel like the difference is minor, and just how high are your standards?

[scourgingstars]

Higher than you think, but low enough to know how to get you to stop talking.

[motherfucking_ghost]

I can't tell if I'm supposed to be insulted or if that's an invitation for me to find some way to occupy my mouth.

[scourgingstars]

It means you talk more than I do, and it's terribly annoying. I might almost try to get you to forget how to talk and start babbling like an idiot again.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Now, see... [Good thing neither of them have any sense of personal space, because man that is Church leaning very close.] That sounds like a challenge.

[scourgingstars]

No, that one was a threat. What you're doing is a challenge.

[motherfucking_ghost]

I'm used to both. And sometimes a threat is a promise.

[Mmmmhow about another look around real quick before hey Ardyn are you tired of Church pressing you against walls yet, it's been a while, and don't mind if his hands work their way down that stringbean body and sit right at his hips.

Sorry did I say hips, I mean ass. Hips, then ass. Yes good.]

Maybe you'll rise to the challenge?

[scourgingstars]

You're not one for personal space at all, are you?

[Church did not, somehow, get punched for that. What he did get was Ardyn's hand flat on his face, shoving him back with a quiet laugh.]

[motherfucking_ghost]

Awwwwwww c'mon! [It's a little muffled for having a hand in his face okay. He leans back with the shove, effectively removing his hands from Ardyn's bod, almost but not quite to tipping over point.] That was a good line.

[scourgingstars]

Yes, I'm sure everyone just falls all over themselves for you and your brilliant flirting techniques.

[motherfucking_ghost]

[Okay he'll peel himself away and straighten up and wipe his mouth and fine, this is cool, nothing has to be weird between them, especially since Ardyn has not punched him across the room which seems to be a really good sign as far as he's concerned.] And I'm sure your techniques are just flawless.

[scourgingstars]

You see? That was a challenge.

[To which Ardyn responded by grabbing his own coat and pulling CHurch over with every intention of kissing the stupid off his face.]

[motherfucking_ghost]

[Wow okay so the challenges gotta be on Ardyn's terms we see how the game is played now

One of these times, maybe, Church is gonna be not caught off guard, but just as he was starting to get resigned, Ardyn's gotta kiss like that? And, like before, the note of surprise gets quickly swallowed, and instead of simple stunned silence, he leans into it, chases after, to deepen it if he's allowed.]