theairlock | week 6

Entry tags:

!round 2,
!week 6

week 6

[Even with three deaths two weeks in a row, life in the Fantasy Sweet returns to some semblance of normalcy come Sunday morning. The messes are cleaned up, the bodies are safe in the morgue (or in Kip's case, still in a liquor bottle in the garden) and with this new week comes a fresh crop of returning memories.

There is no new floor this week.

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday

[ooc: Don't forget to to turn in your activity for week 5, submit your memory regains and put in your threads for the Benefactors!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ She is sitting in the dungeon, in the interrogation chamber. She is covered with scabbed wounds and some healed ones now, and she looks like a mess. She is tired, and hungry, but the torture they inflict... She refuses to budge. They won't know where Mikaela is.

Or so she thought. But suddenly, she's being released. Someone has come to take her to the Freezises. There is one phrase, though, that shatters her to pieces in a way she's not sure she'll ever recover from.

"The Daughter of Green is dead."

Clarith wakes up tears in her eyes. The memory she had been waiting for, and the gaps finally being filled up bit. She turn, cuddling closer to Arianna and just sniffling. She was prepared, so it's not as world-ending as it could have been, though later she visits the morgue and can be found in front of Mikaela's pod saying her good-byes.

After that, she'll go to the garden and tend to the memorials. She's going to do a funeral for everyone else later in the week, she decides. After that, she'll get food and make lunch and store it in the kitchen. Finally, she'll just hang around the first-floor rest area. She seem tired and a bit weepy today... ]

[Well he's going there eventually anyway and whoops Clarith is there what...do... He's tempted to just turn the hell around and walk back out, but no, he will not be chased away by a...holy woman who can't feel negative feelings anymore? Like the anti-Ardyn. So they'll just have to stand each other, and by stand each other we mean Church being able to stand someone who's willing to be nice to PAL.

It's still a bit of a sore spot, but he didn't yell at her then, and he probably won't yell at her now. He's kind of done with the yelling thing for a while. So. He'll be...over here, observing the memorials and maybe idly petting a pigeon or two.]

...Good day, Church.

[ More like she was relieved they didn't have to go through with any more in that awful courtroom for once. Hit after hit, and this time, they didn't keep coming. ]

Hi. [That is not the most jubilant greeting ever.] Everything, uh, looking good here?

...As good as it can. I'm... Going to do funerals for the rest of them later in the week. Now that I... Know what I'm doing.

[ ...For what it's worth, she doesn't sound as good as she usually does, either. ]

Y'know, nobody really has to know what they're doing to conduct a funeral. I mean it helps, but-- That's. That's nice. of you. To do that for them.

...It didn't feel like I had that right. A nun who didn't even remember... Like I was just playing pretend. They... deserved better than that.

We don't have better. We have their bodies dressed up on display in the fucking morgue and some flowers in the ground. What we get and what we deserve never line up.

.......

[ She just nods, quiet and meek. Is he angry at her? Did she... Not do enough? ]

I just--I just want them buried with some god damn dignity, and even then we're all just copies or printed off a machine or whatever. We might just get stitched back together and our memories erased and stuck back in for another round until we get it right.

I don't know how you're not angry. How can you not be angry? I'm never tired of being angry; it's my number one go-to emotion!

...I've had hatred and anger thrown at me my entire life, Church. From before I can remember, until I finally escaped that village. For so long, I considered taking my own life because of all the anger around me. I was bitter and cynical and I wanted everyone in that village to suffer, and then--

[ ...She sighs, looking down and away. ]

...And then the Green Hunting came and it was wiped from the map, everyone killed either for being a green-haired woman or for interfering. Tormented and burned alive, just like they wanted to do with me. So I'm... Tired of anger.

Never stopped a motherfucker from being righteously angry before. Doesn't being not angry all the time also get tiring? I can't imagine being so fed up that I make nice with the psychotic fuckass of an overlord.

...It's refreshing. I'm so tired of anger being everywhere. Of being angry. And being polite is very different from being nice. Hearing people's sins and sadnesses... Is my job. If you're talking about thanking him, Church, I... ...If we'd had to stay there, had to vote, had to watch a mockery of an execution after we watched Rhys die like that... I'm not sure what I would have done to myself.

[ ...She's very clearly Not Okay. ]

...I was relieved. That he didn't make us do more. That, for once, he didn't torment us or try to break us. Because I would have. So I thanked him. Because that's just... That's what I've always done. It's what I do.

You thanked him because he just happened to not take the worst route he possibly could have.

Y'know, I can't honestly understand that. I just...can't. But then again, I'm not a space nun or a space rabbi or anything. I could never do what you do, and I don't think I'd ever want to.

That... Isn't because I'm a nun.

[ ...Sorry, Church. That's... The best you're getting. She doesn't want to talk about it. ]

Right, right, it's because you're reverse-Ardyn, that much I get. The whole, he went from being loved to being hated, and you went from being hated to being loved, it's, look, the feelings thing, I can figure that shit out, that doesn't mean I get it.

That's not why, Church.

[ Her voice is short. Oh, she can get angry. She gets angry a lot. She just... Doesn't show it. ]

It's been like this since before Mikaela.

The letting people walk all over you and you thanking them for it like it's your job thing? Maybe you always were supposed to be a nun.

[ Okay, Church, that is too far and Clarith is going to fucking slap you. ]

Don't you dare talk like you know what it was like!

[He nearly catches her snarl because what the shit he just got slapped. And that is no small slap. His bells are ringing just a little, and he presses a hand to his cheek, staring in momentary shock.]

Did you just fucking slap me for calling you out?!

I keep my head down, Church! Because it keeps me alive. You do what you're told by those who want to hurt you because it means that they don't hurt you as often! Not all of us can afford to mouth off whenever they're upset!

[ Well, Church, you just unlocked more of her tragic backstory. ]

And now you can!

No, I can't! None of us can! Because then we'll end up just like Kip, because he stood up to someone and he died for it! And I can't... I can't lose anyone else, Church! I just can't!

Well if you refuse to do it then I'LL keep doing it because apparently THAT'S JUST WHAT I DO!

I tried, Church! I tried! I tried to get PAL with the rules, and he threatened to kill me! What more do you want me to do!? Do you want me to throw away my life for nothing when nothing will change!?

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CW: Suicidal ideation

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