welcome to the mansion

[airlockedmods]

[The Champions wake up not in a bed, but alone on a plush, velvet seat. Some may recognize the backseat of a limousine, while some may not, but the windows are tinted black inside and out, and there's no chauffeur. All are wearing expensive formalwear, no matter what they thought they were wearing before.

The door opens by an unseen hand and reveals a gravel drive with a red carpet and a lavish fountain. Others are already there, and more limousines continue to pull up afterward. The front doors are locked, and overhead curls a large protective glass dome, keeping the cold void of space at bay, but hey, there's also an unparalleled view of the stars.]

Hey there, Champions, welcome to the IGS Fantasy Sweet. I'm PAL, your onboard maintenance system for this location. Your Overseer will arrive shortly. Please be patient.

Comments

[everylittlesecret]

I'm German. It's what we're known for, and we're still friendlier than the French.

[plugout]

[ He pinches the bridge of his nose. His head still really hurts, and this conversation is making it worse!!! ]

Stay far away from the Germans, got it. [ GRUMBLE. ] This is the worst conversation I've ever had.

[everylittlesecret]

Americans don't seem to be too good at that.

[Going to move in real close.]

Is that a challenge?

[plugout]

[ He waits a moment before pulling his hand away from his face. ]

What? [ He takes a step back. Nope. ] Nooo, no way. I'm not challenging anyone, especially someone I just met!

[everylittlesecret]

Scared a girl can kick your ass?

[plugout]

[ This is OFFENSIVE. ]

What? I-- that's-- pfft, that's-- what? That's ridiculous-- that's--

[ stop talking. ]

I'm perfectly capable of-- of fighting, I just-- look, I don't want to fight anyone!

[everylittlesecret]

[.......]

So I could probably knock you flat on your ass in one good hit. Nice to know.

[plugout]

[ VERY INDIGNANTLY: ] No! It's-- it's for your own good. I don't think you want to get punched by a robot arm.

[ Look at him, Nari. He's a beanpole and a giant nerd. You could definitely kick his ass. ]

[everylittlesecret]

Robot arm? Dude, I thought that was some cosplay prop. Like you're trying to be like a Borg and just really got lazy or something.

[plugout]

Uh, no, this is my arm and it's real. It's just metal. And way strong. And I had it put in years ago, I'm pretty sure I know my own arm.

[everylittlesecret]

....... was it intentional?

[plugout]

Yeah, it was. I wanted it. Along with this.

[ He taps above his ECHOeye.




okay rhys ]

[everylittlesecret]

.... you cut off a perfectly fucking good arm for a piece of metal that can malfunction, poison your blood if it rusts or gets something deadly into its system, or possibly explode. What the ever flying fuck is wrong with you, dude? Like, seriously. What the fuck.

[AND YOUR EYE, TOO?

WTF RHYS

WTF]

[plugout]

Wha-- None of that is going to happen, there's no way a Hyperion-brand product is gonna result in any of that!

[everylittlesecret]

Hyperion. [A company named after a titan that tried to overthrow Olympus.] Sorry. I wouldn't trust anything with that name.

[plugout]

Then you're missing out, because Hyperion is the biggest and most impressive corporation in any galaxy, like, ever.

[everylittlesecret]

... wow, someone is certainly trying to live up to the name of a dick. That titan was sealed away because he was an asshole like the rest of them. Is your boss an asshole with an inferiority complex?

[plugout]

What? No! He's not-- He didn't have an "inferiority complex," okay.

[ Also he's dead. ]

Vasquez is the asshole with an inferiority complex. That guy is literally the worst.

[everylittlesecret]

Who's 'he'? A guy named Hyperion?

[Such anger]

Hey, buddy, I don't know a Vasquez. What made him an asshole?

[plugout]

Uh, no, his name's Handsome Jack, and he's pretty much the best thing that happened to Hyperion.

[ GRUMBLE. ]

Living? Existing? He's an asshole, I don't care what made him that way.

[everylittlesecret]

Handsome Jack. Handsome Jack.

[What the fuck kind of name is that?]

Sounds like you've got some issues with this guy.

[plugout]

Uh, yeah, Handsome Jack.

[ GOSH. ]

I didn't really... know him personally, but he did a lot of stuff. A lot of really... cool... stuff.

[ rhys, your hero worship is showing. ]

[everylittlesecret]

I bet he's..... handsome.

[Yep. Nope. She ain't got nothing.]

Is it one of those "senpai, notice me" situations?

[plugout]

He's more than just handsome. He's a hero.

[ rhys stop ]

--A what?

[everylittlesecret]

Senpai. An upperclassman. In this case someone you admire and want them to notice you.