Week 4

[airlockedmods]

[After everything that this case was, you probably don't want to deal with anything else. But you wake up on Sunday, just like before, with some new memories, and some new stores to check out.

Let's see what this week brings.]

Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday

(( Don't forget to check in, and check your memory regains! You can also stop by the gacha machine and Xander's office hours. ))

Comments

[kingshaming]

No, nothing like that. Though I suppose maybe something in them is reminding me of somewhere back home. Like a familiar smell you can't place.

[burninglight]

...'Vague nostalgia' does certainly seem to be the name of the affliction going around, doesn't it?

[kingshaming]

[His eyes widen, then narrow]

Your conditions make such a thing understandable. This is something rather more mundane.

[burninglight]

Is it?

[There was the infuriating smile again.]

Then please, do educate me. Whatever could be the problem--heavens, you've not suffered a concussion, have you?

[kingshaming]

Is it so strange to simply be a little homesick?

[burninglight]

I wouldn't know, I don't have one anymore.

[kingshaming]

[He purses his lips at that]

You're being obstinate for it's own sake, and I am not being paid enough to deal with it.

[So he just goes back to looking at the paintings]

[burninglight]

I do that often. You see, in my advanced age you entirely stop giving a damn and decide it's more fun to press some people's buttons to see what happens.

...But truthfully, I did follow you in here for a reason past idle provocation.

[kingshaming]

Did you now?

[He doesn't turn back around, but he's not leaving at least?]

[burninglight]

...I wanted to say you did one single thing right yesterday. Two, I suppose, but putting that monster down was more a solution to a common problem.

This isn't a compliment, it does not outweigh the long list of cowardly and reprehensible things you continue to do, and I'm still going to kill you before long, but you did the right thing with Soma.

[kingshaming]

...

He didn't deserve the fate in store for him. Nor did Thomasin.

[burninglight]

...Neither did Mai Kawasumi, but that didn't stop the inevitable.

[kingshaming]

[He takes a moment to go through the names he knows]

...ah, the girl from your previous group.

[burninglight]

Mai Kawasumi. Don't reduce her to just some dismissive statement.

[One hand curled into a fist at his side, but the shouting rage was nowhere to be seen or heard. Ardyn was tense, but for now that fury was a restrained one.]

She was a child, Xander. A little girl barely Thomasin's elder who had no idea her powers had even hurt someone. And your handlers, whoever Kip and PAL answered to, let her die for a crime she'd been fighting alone to prevent.

[kingshaming]

[He raises a hand. Not in a 'shut up' gesture like he had on Friday. More an appeasement]

Peace. I didn't mean to insult. But know I know nothing about your previous group. They aren't even listed in your profiles. Until you all listed them I wouldn't know their names from any others.

[burninglight]

[Ardyn scowled faintly, but folded his arms to show he wasn't about to throw a punch.]

...So you would have me believe even you know nothing of what's contained in the memories we've lost and yet to recall? Of whatever situations our respective groups apparently went through?

[kingshaming]

Not in any detail. Why would I need to know? You are here now, with me. When it comes to the experiment, all that came before is meaningless outside using it for motives.

[burninglight]

...





Your Highness, every single one of us has severe amnesia and several are bordering on nervous breakdowns. I rather suspect that to be highly relevant to you as well as the results of your handlers' experiment.

[kingshaming]

[He groans and pinches his nose]

I know, my lack of information is bordering on idiotic. But that is the logic at employ and what I have to work with. Any grumbling on my end does little so best to bite my tongue and do what I can with it.

[burninglight]

At least we're clear that your lack of knowledge is painfully shortsighted. I almost thought you were saying such a tremendous blind spot was acceptable, in which case I'd have yet again had to evaluate what level of idiot I find you.

[kingshaming]

Either way, I do not know. And I will do my duties regardless.

[burninglight]

...There's a very old saying, in the ancient language that became the root of modern Lucian. Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt. It means 'men generally believe what they want to'. That desire alone may overcome sense and logic, leading one to blind himself to even reason in pursuit of his goal.

I would like you to make careful consideration of those words, Your Highness--for if your superiors don't even trust you with a full range of information, what really makes you believe they think highly enough of you to waste whatever resources on your impossible payment when they can presumably just be rid of you once they've their desired result?

[kingshaming]

Don't think I'm so blind. I know that I am expendable. My life has always been. Odds are strong that all the abuse I have hefted upon you would be for nothing- and will be more names added to my list of payments when I am finally allowed to die.

But for the short time I have been gifted past what I was supposed to have, I can not accept even the whisper of hope being taken from me. It may be a lie, but it's all I have left. Even if they let me walk away now and live in peace, I would not choose it. I couldn't.... I couldn't bare it.

cw: suicidal ideation

[burninglight]

...

[Ardyn almost wanted to laugh, even if he couldn’t place which of a long list of things in Xander’s words struck him as funny. So instead he forced it back and stayed silent for long enough to carefully turn his words over and over like the ring he took from his pocket to fidget with idly.]

I’ve a very long list of names to answer for myself, but I expect you know that. I know what it’s like to be unable or unwilling to merely stop long enough to recognize a sunk cost fallacy.

You’ll not be able to bear it, should this end and you even claim all that you wish. Even the end you so desire won’t bring you peace, for deep in your heart you’ll know the kind and noble king you could have been will die with you. Or, perhaps, that he died long ago.

[kingshaming]

['A kind and noble king'. Xander looks... wistful. And lost]

I fear that chance is long gone. I had hope for it once, but it was not to be. I can't only hope my being gone will allow others a better chance to do so.