week 1

[airlockedmods]

Week 1

[After the reveal of their handsome and well-dressed but stern-looking Overseer on Sunday, the Champions were left to their own devices in investigating the mall to their hearts' content. At around 10 pm every night the lights in all the shops will go down and the sturdy metal grates over the doors of the restaurants will go down. The stores will remain unlocked, though.

On Monday morning, a buzzing alarm chirps at them again from their PIPs at 7 am on the dot. There's also a pop-up message waiting for them: a notice announcing Xander will be holding office hours

Enjoy your week, Champions.]

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday

Comments

[motherfucking_ghost]

Your boyfriend's name is Carlos? [yes that's what he's getting out of this] Did you nab like a sexy latino firefighter for a boyfriend?

[misanthropicprinciple]

Hey, he's not my boyfriend. You specifically said not-boyfriend. My...

[Hmm. Well. 'Girlfriend' doesn't feel like the right word, somehow.]

...My M.J.'s name is--well, let's call her Kanny.

[He makes a vague gesture at the ceiling and the cameras Xander admitted he had access to.]

[motherfucking_ghost]

I mean, c'mon, at the end of the day, how canon is spideypool? Pretty damn canon I'd say.

[Church at least can do a subtle look, like he's stretching, because he's dumb but not Dumb.]

Okay, fine, if you're our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man with a robo-arm, thennnn...can I be Cap?

[misanthropicprinciple]

Cap, really? I didn't have you pegged as a Cap... Is it because of the Shield thing?

[motherfucking_ghost]

...Oh my god, that's a great reason. No, I was just gonna say cuz of my dashing good dorito looks.

Why, who do you peg me as?

[misanthropicprinciple]

Irreverent snarker, never shuts up, decent enough guy... You're either a choose-your-Stark adventure or Fraction-era Hawkeye.

[motherfucking_ghost]

...Oof, hard choice. I mean, obviously I wanna be the billionaire playboy philanthropist, but man, what a good Hawkguy... [Two guesses which one he really resembles most. Just wait until he pulls an "awwww, [noun]" on you.]

I'm a sniper? [no you're the fuck not] But I also wear a suit of space-age metal polymer.

[misanthropicprinciple]

Do you mean, like, a business suit? Because I feel like that's extra points in Tony's direction. He would.

[motherfucking_ghost]

No. Dude. Even better. A suit...of armor.

[misanthropicprinciple]

I mean, I don't know if that's better, because, come on. Full Metal Suit Jacket. Imagine.

But yeah, that definitely puts you over the line into Iron Man territory. Unless you've got another case to make for Hawks?

[motherfucking_ghost]

Okay but a full metal jacket that's literal...would not be comfortable. Flashy! But shit you probably couldn't move all that well in it.

...I don't know why I'm debating Iron Man over Hawkeye anyway. Like yeah, Guy is good shit but he's also a fuckup. I'm totally not a fuckup. [he says almost immediately before fucking up real bad]

Hawk Man. Iron Hawk.

[misanthropicprinciple]

Hawkman exists, and Iron Hawk would be a sweet name for a metal band. Go ahead and be Tony, you've got a Tony face.

What about everyone else? Can't be the Avengers with just Pete and Tony.

[motherfucking_ghost]

We don't have a Cap. Nobody here but Xanax has a dorito shape. Nari-to apparently has some kinda dragon motif around her title, and she's redhead? I'm thinking Phoenix. Or Scarlet Witch? Noctis could be Midnighter...except that's DC and I he doesn't seem blood-happy enough. Oh, oh that one teenager--Mmmmaxie? Squirrel Girl? And obviously we've got Doctor Strange. Might be too on the nose, though...

[misanthropicprinciple]

Oh my god, Squirrel Girl Max? Abso-damn-lutely approved. Also, Doctor Strange is perfect, don't doubt your instincts, man.

Hmmm... Scarlet Witch works for Nari, yeah. Then there's that other redhead, I haven't talked with her yet, but she's built like an Amazon. If we can let DC characters in, she'd make a bitchin' Wonder Woman.

Soma's got the hair to be Quicksilver, though the personality, ehhh. Ushiro--I mean, Natsuhi. Haha, she could be Aunt May. Or Madame Web.

[motherfucking_ghost]

The little guy. Ant-Man. [That's mean, but c'mon.] Heart? Optimus Prime.

[misanthropicprinciple]

[And that's when Junpei started cracking up.]

Clar--Clarith--

Tenderheart Care Bear. [WHEEZE.] CLARE BEAR.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Holy shit. Hold on, wait wait wait--the purple one!

My Little Princess.

[misanthropicprinciple]

Aragorn son of Arathorn Lucis Coelacanth Tenjou Wakaba Kirk! ...Of Calzonia!

[motherfucking_ghost]

Holy shit you giant nerd!

...Does that make me Kirk, too, cuz I will take it.

[misanthropicprinciple]

Sure, he can be George and you can be Jim, no problem. Who are we missing... oh. Jane? She seems like such a normal kid, though.

[motherfucking_ghost]

We need a better one for Soma. He's definitely Chosen One material, just don't call him that. Jane is...a kid who's seen a lot? Prettyboy needs a villain name, straight up. The sextuplet. Yuyu. Uhhh. [Hold on checking the PIP.] The blue haired pilot. The ye olde timey girl. Stalker supreme. Knock-Knock needs a better one than Midnighter. I'm willing to settle for Batman for the night theme, but we can do better...

[misanthropicprinciple]

Hold on, back up. Prettyboy is who? The blond?

[There are a disproportionate number of pretty guys here and at least two are villain-worthy, he thinks.]

[motherfucking_ghost]

Tall, blonde, and punchable. I need a nickname for him so I'm not accidentally complimenting him every time, damn it.

[misanthropicprinciple]

Draco Malfoy.

[motherfucking_ghost]

My god. It's perfect. How did I not think of that immediately. I am ashamed.