week 6

[airlockedmods]

Week 6

[Six weeks. Twenty-three Champions whittled down to just seven. Where the halls of the station once felt crowded and loud now they're empty and echo when someone speaks too loudly. Again, the Champions will find themselves experiencing strange dreams on Sunday night but outside of the usual wake-up call there is no new floor announcement from CECE.

Like the trash compactor last week, the infirmary is pristine and sterile once again. As if nothing had ever happened.]


Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday



(( Welcome to Week 6! Don't forget to submit your memory regains and turn in your benefactor threads for sweet loot, too! There's going to be no AC this week.))

Comments

[le_mat]

[He knows better then to try and touch Kaiba right now- he could lash out and honestly, Akira isn't sure he could take him right now. So instead he looks for what in the dumbwaiter could have set him off.

... like before, he doesn't need the details for his blood to go cold when he sees the switch. He moves, putting himself in Kaiba's sight line, but far enough away to not be seen as a threat]

Seto... put it down.

[playthedamncard]

[It's a good thing Akira's not closer, honestly, because he's not sure what he would have done. That flash of anger redirects at Akira for a very hot second--but it's Akira. Who has only ever tried to help. This isn't what they need first thing in the god damn morning, and the anger melts into a simmering shame. He shouldn't have reacted. It's nothing. It's the past. It's been ground into fine dust. Is this what he's become?

He reels back and gives the rod a throw, listening to it bounce off the door, clatter to the floor, come to rest against the trunk. Sits himself heavily on the bed. Max had gotten close to some of the more painful truths, so had Prompto, even Manaka, and they were all dead now. He doesn't need Akira to concern himself on top of it all.]

It doesn't mean anything.

[le_mat]

...it doesn't.

[He pads across the room, kneeling and picking the rod up. He can see the signs of wear on it, can feel the weight in his hand, and wishes there was anything he could do to balm this pain. But it is long past- well past his reach.

So instead he pauses, thumping the switch against his hand a few times, making a soft 'thumpthump'... before taking hold of the other end, planting his thumbs-]

Snap.

[playthedamncard]

[He should have been able to. Maybe a week ago, two weeks ago, but he's so raw that it's up to Akira.

And maybe for once he shouldn't beat himself up about it. He manages not to flinch at any of the noises, and he sinks down a little when it's snapped.]

Thank you.

[le_mat]

[Akira shoves the pieces in his pocket, intending to toss them later, before making his way back to Kaiba, urging him to sit]

It's...

[Not okay]

...not a problem

[playthedamncard]

It is. But I appreciate it anyway. [It's not quite an apology, but it sounds like one anyway. Because he's been apologizing a lot lately for someone who's never made a habit of doing so, to Akira who shouldn't have to deal with any of this.]

[le_mat]

...I'm not going to pretend I know what happened. I'm not going to ask either, cuz that's your business. But... tearing down adults that think they can't be touched is everything I've fought to do. So... even if it's just a little thing, I want to do it.

[playthedamncard]

He's dead twice over, and I refuse to be haunted by his ghost any longer. She can't make me. ...I shouldn't be so furious about it.

[le_mat]

Why the fuck not?

[It's an earnest question]

[playthedamncard]

Because it's the past. It's dead and gone and buried under so much rubble at the bottom of the sea. I am free of the shackles of my history. So this...this shouldn't mean anything to me.

[le_mat]

Burying something isn't the same as being free of it. All it does it give it time to rot and poison everything around it.

It's okay to be pissed. And to hate, and to struggle and yell. There's no such thing as being better then all the nastiness inside you, and all the things you went through. You burn it for fuel and make something new out of it. As long as that's not all there is- and I know there's way more in you then that.

[playthedamncard]

I spent a long time in his thrall, being shaped and molded into exactly the way he thought an heir should be. But I am better than all of that; I have made myself better than all that.

[le_mat]

Yeah, but you're still human.

[playthedamncard]

Wouldn't it be better to not be? To be something more?

[le_mat]

Something more...

[His puts his chin on his hands. Morgana's voice in his head: 'The humans I admire aren't like that. No matter how painful reality is, it's all over if you don't try to change how things are!']

I don't think... being human and being better are mutually exclusive.

[playthedamncard]

...No. No, they're not. But we have so many limitations, in these bodies. We could be our very best selves if we were free of this...physical bond. Is it enough just to be better on this physical plane? Shouldn't we reach higher?

[le_mat]

I don't think you're wrong. I've seen human hearts- there's a lot of evil in them, but in each one is this... light. A pure goodness. Something bigger then us, I think.

But... I think the fact that we have to struggle to get even close to it is... kinda beautiful, in a way. Is that strange?

[He didn't remember breaking free of the chains on his heart yet. Of stepping out of the prison of his soul and walking free. But it was there, unremembered but not undone, deep inside]

[playthedamncard]

...There are certainly those who don't struggle at all to get there and are left stewing in their vileness all their lives. Maybe there's something to that. I wouldn't call the struggle beautiful by any means. I'd rather allow people the chance to become whatever they were always meant to be.

[le_mat]

[He nods]

I think I get what you mean.

[He tilts his head, something like mischief in his eye]

I might not agree with all of it, but I get it. If no one disagreed then what would be the fun?

[playthedamncard]

I tried. I've made a new, improved system to free people from the physical world, but it's still just digital at the end of the day. And like everything else, it's been used against me. But I won't give up. I'm not someone that gives up on anything, whether it's being better and overcoming, or on my goals, or the mere act of surviving.

[le_mat]

I know.

[He reaches into his pocket, pulls out the pieces of the rod, offers them]

[playthedamncard]

[He hesitates, but accepts them, looking on with melancholy. He's just so tired of all this.]

Max was pretty horrified. Not about--he didn't know about this, specifically. I was very broad and vague. I might have given him the wrong impression about how I grew up.

Prompto. I spoke with him about, heh, being very angry about child abandonment, about neglectful adults.

And Manaka. I knew she was different, dangerous, but we had good conversations when they weren't existentially terrifying. We talked about the feeling of being different and isolated.

I spoke to Zombina at great length about my brother. ...He didn't, by the way. He didn't have to deal with this.

It's strange, the idea of actually giving up parts of myself to others for once, and then to lose them. It's illogical to think any of it has anything to do with me. It doesn't. But an irrational part of me wonders if you're going to be next. Learn something about me, get put on the chopping block.

[le_mat]

They all gave you part of themselves too though, right? Even when they died, you're not any less because of it.

...if I die, you'll keep going. 'Cuz that's who you are.

[playthedamncard]

It's not how I want to win the game. By default for being the last one standing, if it comes to it.

If I die, would it make any difference if I ask you to keep going? I am a significant percentage of your impulse control, it seems.

[le_mat]

[He grins]

That's not fair, you make it sound like me doing dangerous things is dependent on you. If anything you make me wanna do more.