Welcome to the Program

[airlockedmods]

Good Morning, Champions. In the interest of maintaining healthy sleep patterns, a day/night cycle is in effect. Your presence is expected in the cafeteria in exactly one hour.

[The voice comes through not a large speaker, but through the device that's attached to each Champion's arm. Further investigation of the features of the device will reveal a list of profiles, a mini-map, and a list of rules. The hallways are shiny white and silver, with running lights along the floor and lights on the ceiling, and at the junction of the hallways is a sign with a knife and fork icon and an arrow pointing down the hall.

Welcome to the Excellence Program, Champions. Time to get to know your teammates.]

Comments

[lmafo]

Nah, it's cool, I get you. I guess that's a bonus, I won't be in prison when we get out of here.

[photoshooter]

You were in prison?

[Who on or off Eos would put such a nice girl in jail?]

[lmafo]

Yup! Taken in by the spookiest most dangerous dog-girl the Batterwitch had on hand. Still not exactly sure what she wanted with me.

[ she got dumped in here right after, oops ]

[photoshooter]

[Slowly, he tilts his head.]

Dog-girl?

[You mean, like one of those internet furries?]

[lmafo]

[ Just like, Prompto. ]

She's a girl but also a dog, but just kind of... in the ears? And the powers.

[photoshooter]

Really? Haha, that sounds like the kind of thing I'd find in one of my friend's comic books.

[Noctis Lucis Caelum is a big anime nerd, you heard it here first in Season 1, folks.]

[lmafo]

Right? But nope, totes real, she's not even a lil anime. It's just a bummer she's evil rn.

[photoshooter]

Aw, yeah, that's really awful. I can't believe someone would use a dog--or, uh, a dog-girl--for evil. Dogs are so good. There are no bad dogs, only bad dog owners.

[lmafo]

Well she has like the worst owner ever right now, so it makes sense. My bff is evil too right now, but she's just brainwashed, not a dog.

[photoshooter]

What? Oh no! What happened? Is she okay?

[lmafo]

I'll figure something out when I get out of here, she got this brain control computer put on her head? It sucks, yo.

[photoshooter]

Eeyeeghh. [He shudders.] I know people talk a lot about smartphones and computers taking over our lives, but that sounds like some seriously messed up magitek. You think you can just, like, take it off of her?

[lmafo]

If I know my Batterwitches, it's not gonna be that easy. But I know there's gotta be something I can do, now that I got properly jailbroken. Heh, I can jailbreak her, maybe. Or at least her computer.

[photoshooter]

Right! So, first we break out of here, then we break your friend out of the clutches of the, uh... the Batterwitches? Did I get that right?

[lmafo]

Just the one, but yes. Welcome to the newly-formed Janeyquest.

[photoshooter]

Janeyquest, huh? Can't wait for all the EXP I'm gonna get from completing this one!

[lmafo]

Hells of EXP, man. You don't even know. Like an ocean. But also you'll get to meet Janey, which is just as good.

[photoshooter]

Aw, I bet anyone who's friends with you is great. I just met you and I can already tell you're cool like that.

[lmafo]

All my friends are awesome. And if you're helping on Janeyquest, then don't tell anybody but I think you might be one of my friends now too.

[photoshooter]

[!!!!!!! FRIENDS!!! :D :D :D]

Of course! Oh, man, I'll even do you one better: I'll rope all my friends into Janeyquest, too. The more, the merrier!

[lmafo]

Bring em on, man. Batterwitch don't stand a fuckin' chance. She will have absolutely no idea what hit her.

[photoshooter]

Gladio. Gladio will have hit her. And things that Gladio hits stay hit, forever.

[lmafo]

Now that is the kind of guy I can absolutely get behind here at Janeyquest HQ. Big muscley type?

[photoshooter]

Mountain-sized. He carries a greatsword bigger than me. And he's not even the scariest guy in our party!

[lmafo]

No shit? Who's the scariest guy. Now I have to know everything there is to know about the scariest guy.