Welcome to the Program

[airlockedmods]

Good Morning, Champions. In the interest of maintaining healthy sleep patterns, a day/night cycle is in effect. Your presence is expected in the cafeteria in exactly one hour.

[The voice comes through not a large speaker, but through the device that's attached to each Champion's arm. Further investigation of the features of the device will reveal a list of profiles, a mini-map, and a list of rules. The hallways are shiny white and silver, with running lights along the floor and lights on the ceiling, and at the junction of the hallways is a sign with a knife and fork icon and an arrow pointing down the hall.

Welcome to the Excellence Program, Champions. Time to get to know your teammates.]

Comments

[lmafo]

Well she has like the worst owner ever right now, so it makes sense. My bff is evil too right now, but she's just brainwashed, not a dog.

[photoshooter]

What? Oh no! What happened? Is she okay?

[lmafo]

I'll figure something out when I get out of here, she got this brain control computer put on her head? It sucks, yo.

[photoshooter]

Eeyeeghh. [He shudders.] I know people talk a lot about smartphones and computers taking over our lives, but that sounds like some seriously messed up magitek. You think you can just, like, take it off of her?

[lmafo]

If I know my Batterwitches, it's not gonna be that easy. But I know there's gotta be something I can do, now that I got properly jailbroken. Heh, I can jailbreak her, maybe. Or at least her computer.

[photoshooter]

Right! So, first we break out of here, then we break your friend out of the clutches of the, uh... the Batterwitches? Did I get that right?

[lmafo]

Just the one, but yes. Welcome to the newly-formed Janeyquest.

[photoshooter]

Janeyquest, huh? Can't wait for all the EXP I'm gonna get from completing this one!

[lmafo]

Hells of EXP, man. You don't even know. Like an ocean. But also you'll get to meet Janey, which is just as good.

[photoshooter]

Aw, I bet anyone who's friends with you is great. I just met you and I can already tell you're cool like that.

[lmafo]

All my friends are awesome. And if you're helping on Janeyquest, then don't tell anybody but I think you might be one of my friends now too.

[photoshooter]

[!!!!!!! FRIENDS!!! :D :D :D]

Of course! Oh, man, I'll even do you one better: I'll rope all my friends into Janeyquest, too. The more, the merrier!

[lmafo]

Bring em on, man. Batterwitch don't stand a fuckin' chance. She will have absolutely no idea what hit her.

[photoshooter]

Gladio. Gladio will have hit her. And things that Gladio hits stay hit, forever.

[lmafo]

Now that is the kind of guy I can absolutely get behind here at Janeyquest HQ. Big muscley type?

[photoshooter]

Mountain-sized. He carries a greatsword bigger than me. And he's not even the scariest guy in our party!

[lmafo]

No shit? Who's the scariest guy. Now I have to know everything there is to know about the scariest guy.

[photoshooter]

Da da-daaaa, it's... Ignis Scientia! He might look like a mild-mannered supermodel, but those glasses of his hide an intellect so sharp, so deep, he could cut through the hide of an Iron Giant with a single glance. He's our master strategist and as deadly in combat as he is genius in the kitchen.

[Oh no, he's getting into it.]

Also, he can pull out the 'I'm not mad, I'm disappointed' voice at the drop of the hat, and that? Is the scariest thing of all.

[lmafo]

Oof, yeah, no, he sounds like the scariest.

[ And yet, she can think of a guy who might get along with him okay. Or they'd hate each other. It's unclear. ]

Ain't nothin' scarier than an angry hot dad type friend.

[photoshooter]

Oh, no, Iggy's totally the mom friend. He fixes Noct's clothes when the buttons fall off, too, and scolds us for spending too much on junk instead of potions. Gladio's the dad friend. He likes meat and camping.

[And really, is there anything dadlier than that?]

[lmafo]

Janeyquest has some great dudes on board already, holy shit.

[photoshooter]

Heh, yeah, it's all guys. I guess 'cause we were basically representing the groom's side of the bridal party, since we couldn't have the wedding home in Insomnia with the whole royal entourage.

[lmafo]

Holy shit, so just. A road trip of dudes. A caravan of boys. Wait nope that sounds kinda weird, I'm takin that one back.

[ (im not takin it back that sounds great as hell) ]

So you just chill with a mom dude and a dad dude and a prince?

[photoshooter]

Pretty much! Gladio and Iggy are, like, his official bodyguards and advisors and stuff, and I'm just along for the ride.

[His expression flickers for a second as he remembers Iggy's eyes and wonders if he'll still be able to--no, no. He shakes his head. Lady Lunafreya's alive. Miracles are real, and once he gets the both of them back to the guys, maybe she'll even be able to help him.]

Noct will help, too. He might give off kind of a cool aura at first, but he's a really good guy. Feeds hungry-looking cats on the side of the road, things like that.

[lmafo]

Nah, I'm sure you're there for a reason! A good friend is important as hell.

[ She grins. ]

Well anyone who feeds hungry cats is aces in the pages of my friendship tomes.