Welcome to the Program

[airlockedmods]

Good Morning, Champions. In the interest of maintaining healthy sleep patterns, a day/night cycle is in effect. Your presence is expected in the cafeteria in exactly one hour.

[The voice comes through not a large speaker, but through the device that's attached to each Champion's arm. Further investigation of the features of the device will reveal a list of profiles, a mini-map, and a list of rules. The hallways are shiny white and silver, with running lights along the floor and lights on the ceiling, and at the junction of the hallways is a sign with a knife and fork icon and an arrow pointing down the hall.

Welcome to the Excellence Program, Champions. Time to get to know your teammates.]

Comments

[hellahighwater]

[ Chloe's...busy staring at space, please call her back in a minute- ]

Dude, this is no Halloween prank.

[unhappylittletrees]

I'm kind of getting that vi- [He follows her gaze, staring out the windows for the first time while the color quickly drains from his face.] -buh.

[hellahighwater]

I so wish I was high right now. [ It would explain so much in ways she'd vastly prefer to reality. ]

[unhappylittletrees]

[It takes him a second to reply because wow, his mouth sure did go really dry all the sudden.]

Honestly? Same.

[hellahighwater]

Bet they don't have any weed here.

[ Like, just their luck. ]

[unhappylittletrees]

[In space, no one can smell you toke.]

Maybe we'll get lucky and can get drunk. [...Wait, she looks kind of young.] Or...not?

[hellahighwater]

Or, yes. [ Expectant look. ] Teenagers drink, shock.

[unhappylittletrees]

I mean, yeah they do. I know I did but several years of D.A.R.E. education makes me feel weird about encouraging teenagers to do it.

[hellahighwater]

Fuck D.A.R.E. dude. This one's already a lost cause! [ ...She says, brightly. ] So don't worry about it.

[unhappylittletrees]

[Her tone makes him laugh a little.] Okay, okay, as long as I'm not the weird college guy corrupting the teenager.

[This is how you cope with being trapped in space, right? Right.]

[hellahighwater]

[ She studies him, up and down...and smirks. ]

If anything? I'd be corrupting you.

[unhappylittletrees]

[Jamie frowns and open his mouth to object-

...

Closes it.]

I've known you like five minutes but I feel like I can't argue with that.

[hellahighwater]

[ She winks and does a little fingergun. ]

So who're you, buddy?

[unhappylittletrees]

Jamie Fell and I guess I'm the Champion Landscape Artist? Which is flattering but I don't think I'd call myself a "Champion".

How about you?

[hellahighwater]

Chloe Price, uh... Mine's kind of weird, so consider yourself lucky.

[unhappylittletrees]

We have someone here who's the "Champion Secondhand Embarrassment and a whole lot of other things I can't remember off the top of my head." Yours can't be that bad.

[hellahighwater]

Yeah, but that's a thing. Mine's a person. My best friend.

[unhappylittletrees]

Champion of...your best friend. Yeah, no, you're right. That is kind of weird.

[hellahighwater]

See? It's fucking weird!

[unhappylittletrees]

How can you even be a champion of a person? How does that even make sense?

[hellahighwater]

I mean, I'd punch a thousand dicks for her? But I don't know.