Welcome to the Program

[airlockedmods]

Good Morning, Champions. In the interest of maintaining healthy sleep patterns, a day/night cycle is in effect. Your presence is expected in the cafeteria in exactly one hour.

[The voice comes through not a large speaker, but through the device that's attached to each Champion's arm. Further investigation of the features of the device will reveal a list of profiles, a mini-map, and a list of rules. The hallways are shiny white and silver, with running lights along the floor and lights on the ceiling, and at the junction of the hallways is a sign with a knife and fork icon and an arrow pointing down the hall.

Welcome to the Excellence Program, Champions. Time to get to know your teammates.]

Comments

[hellahighwater]

[ She winks and does a little fingergun. ]

So who're you, buddy?

[unhappylittletrees]

Jamie Fell and I guess I'm the Champion Landscape Artist? Which is flattering but I don't think I'd call myself a "Champion".

How about you?

[hellahighwater]

Chloe Price, uh... Mine's kind of weird, so consider yourself lucky.

[unhappylittletrees]

We have someone here who's the "Champion Secondhand Embarrassment and a whole lot of other things I can't remember off the top of my head." Yours can't be that bad.

[hellahighwater]

Yeah, but that's a thing. Mine's a person. My best friend.

[unhappylittletrees]

Champion of...your best friend. Yeah, no, you're right. That is kind of weird.

[hellahighwater]

See? It's fucking weird!

[unhappylittletrees]

How can you even be a champion of a person? How does that even make sense?

[hellahighwater]

I mean, I'd punch a thousand dicks for her? But I don't know.