Welcome to the Program

[airlockedmods]

Good Morning, Champions. In the interest of maintaining healthy sleep patterns, a day/night cycle is in effect. Your presence is expected in the cafeteria in exactly one hour.

[The voice comes through not a large speaker, but through the device that's attached to each Champion's arm. Further investigation of the features of the device will reveal a list of profiles, a mini-map, and a list of rules. The hallways are shiny white and silver, with running lights along the floor and lights on the ceiling, and at the junction of the hallways is a sign with a knife and fork icon and an arrow pointing down the hall.

Welcome to the Excellence Program, Champions. Time to get to know your teammates.]

Comments

[dejabrew]

[kill bill sirens]

Technically it's named after the first mate in Moby Dick, but they'd be doing better if they spent less time on literary allusions and more time on making coffee that was actually worth buying.

[theundertaken]

.........yeah, you should probably never come to Orlando. [got a lot of coffee opinons there, bud] It's all Starbucks or Caribou there. Or, like, Dunkin' Donuts?

[dejabrew]

[He makes a disdainful noise.]

Dunkin' Donuts is one thing, it's a donut shop that sells coffee because of the innate compatibility of coffee and donuts and happens to have gotten...passable at coffee through practice. Also, "Time to make the donuts" is a stupid slogan.

But Starbucks. [He says it with the same tone that you might say the name of the neighbor who pisses through the knothole in the fence and kills your flowers.]

[theundertaken]

[Max listens to all of this with a neutral expression, while contemplating how to proceed with this Mega Coffee Nerd]

Tourist towns are just like that. People don't come to Disney looking for, like...artisanal coffee or whatever. [Is artisanal coffee a thing?]

[dejabrew]

Obviously not. If you can’t go to the countries themselves then everyone knows the SCAA is in Washington, DC.

...That’s the, uh. Specialty Coffee Association of America.

[theundertaken]

I'm pretty sure most people don't know that.

[Max turns the PIP on and flips through it as he talks. Damn, not the Champion Coffee Geek.]

So, uh, how's the space coffee?

[dejabrew]

Probably Colombian, or a blend trying to pass itself off as Colombian. Still better than the burnt dishwater they serve at Swillbucks.

Want some?

[theundertaken]

Suuuuuuuuure. [god, fuck, he's gonna have to bring up Starbucks again, this is great] I mean, I usually just make instant coffee at home.