Welcome to the Program

[airlockedmods]

Good Morning, Champions. In the interest of maintaining healthy sleep patterns, a day/night cycle is in effect. Your presence is expected in the cafeteria in exactly one hour.

[The voice comes through not a large speaker, but through the device that's attached to each Champion's arm. Further investigation of the features of the device will reveal a list of profiles, a mini-map, and a list of rules. The hallways are shiny white and silver, with running lights along the floor and lights on the ceiling, and at the junction of the hallways is a sign with a knife and fork icon and an arrow pointing down the hall.

Welcome to the Excellence Program, Champions. Time to get to know your teammates.]

Comments

Cafeteria

[in4apounding]

Oh, do you think we're here for a battle royal? That could be fun! ...They took everyone's weapons, though, that's a little ofd if we're supposed to fight.

[hellahighwater]

[ ... Alright, this one's insane. ]

Usually that's, oh, a bad thing? Why the hell would you want to fight to the death?

[in4apounding]

What? Why would it be to the death? That wouldn't be fun at all, for anyone! That would just be- I don't know, HORRIBLE.

[hellahighwater]

Yeah, and have you read this thing? [ She waves her P.I.P. around. ] "Horrible" seems like it's these guys' bread and butter.

[in4apounding]

I just looked over some of the profiles-

[She trails off, clicking through a few of the PIP's screens to confirm the alleged horribleness.]

[And- oh, there's rule seven, if the way Penny freezes is any indication.]

...oh no, that IS horrible! They can't really expect anyone to just- kill someone else, can they? ...that's a TERRIBLE rule for a battle royal.

[hellahighwater]

[ Okay, you know, at least she understands that? It seems to ease Chloe's initial assessment of the girl. ]

Seems like they do... You get my hella concern now?

[in4apounding]

I do! ...I think. What does 'hella' mean, like big?

[hellahighwater]

Yeah. It's a Cali thing.

[in4apounding]

Then yes, definitely. I hella get your concern.

[Penny]

[n o]

What's a Cali?

[hellahighwater]

It's California, duh.

[in4apounding]

...What's a California. Is that where you're from? Is it part of Vacuo?

[hellahighwater]

The hell's a Vacuo? California's a state.

[in4apounding]

The Kingdom of Vacuo? It's to the east of Vale?

[Dot dot dot]

...Oh, are you one of the people who's from another planet?

[hellahighwater]

...Do you know what Earth is?

[ This will answer the question. ]

[in4apounding]

I know it's a planet?

[By now.]

A planet which is not mine, I mean. So I guess that's a yes?

[hellahighwater]

Jesus christ. Different planets, hella confirmed.

[in4apounding]

Hella.

[Look on your works, ye Chloe, and despair.]

There seems to be a LOT of people from Earth, at least? So far I'm the only one from Remnant, and Mister Prompto and Miss Lunafreya are from someplace called Eos.

[hellahighwater]

[ No, she's spreading the good word. ]

Great. Alien dickbags also confirmed to have a hard on for Earth.

[in4apounding]

Yes, it must be very hard on Earth having so many people taken at once. Maybe they think it would be less likely to be noticed for some reason? Like- there are a lot more people than on other planets, so twenty-some people won't be missed as much? What's Earth's population like?

[She thinks for a second.]

...And if they're aliens, would they even have that kind of anatomy? The kind to be- um. Bags.

[hellahighwater]

There's a lot of peo...ple...

[




what does she do with this ]

Don't...sweat it about all that. The alien stuff. Okay?

[in4apounding]

Mmn. I'll try not to.

[Maybe there are xenobiology books in the library?]

A lot? Like a few hundred million?

[hellahighwater]

Like, a few billion.

[in4apounding]

Billion?!

[That's. A lot a lot.]

I didn't think that many people existing at once was even possible!

[hellahighwater]

Believe it, sista.