Welcome to the Program

[airlockedmods]

Good Morning, Champions. In the interest of maintaining healthy sleep patterns, a day/night cycle is in effect. Your presence is expected in the cafeteria in exactly one hour.

[The voice comes through not a large speaker, but through the device that's attached to each Champion's arm. Further investigation of the features of the device will reveal a list of profiles, a mini-map, and a list of rules. The hallways are shiny white and silver, with running lights along the floor and lights on the ceiling, and at the junction of the hallways is a sign with a knife and fork icon and an arrow pointing down the hall.

Welcome to the Excellence Program, Champions. Time to get to know your teammates.]

Comments

[titularly]

[Being waved over by a cute girl is something Osomatsu can't ignore. So he'll chipperly waltz over to Penny, and when she shows off the PIP he leans in to look it over and gives her a shake of the head with a small laugh.]

Sorry, but that's my brother.

[Identical twins are a riot, aren't they?]

Here!

[Osomatsu scrolls through the profiles on the device, landing on his own.]

This is me.

[in4apounding]

[Oso no, she's like three.]

Oh! Yes, I see the differences now. I'm very sorry.

[Is she being serious? She sounds like it, anyway.]

Is it accurate besides that, though?

[titularly]

[To her apology, the twin just gives a small shrug and he moves back so he can casually fold his arms behind his head with a grin.]

Yeeeep, pretty much! Kinda creepy how accurate it is, actually.

[Not commenting on "Waste of Space"... not that it's wrong.]

They totally got my brother right too! I mean, did you see how long his thing was?

[in4apounding]

His- oh! You mean the titles they're giving everyone.

[She laughs a little.]

Yes, he must have really impressed whoever's doing this to get such a long title.

[Completely. Serious.]

[titularly]

Hah! That's a good way to put it!

[Impressed is... definitely a word to use for that.]

Though if you ask me, I think it's more like he really pissed someone off.

[in4apounding]

You think so?

[She considers the title again for a moment.]

I suppose it DOES sound sort of negative. But it's so detailed compared to all the others!

[titularly]

I mean I'd take his title over mine, anyway.

[At least his is funny..]

"Champion Waste of Space"... how cruel is that? I haven't done anything wrong to deserve this kind of treatment!

[in4apounding]

Oh-

[She clicks back over to Oso's profile.]

Maybe it means... um. ...I don't know, I'm sorry. That's very cruel. ...But I'm sure you're a perfectly nice person, even if you ARE a waste of space!

[She's trying.]

[titularly]

I'm not a waste of space!!!

[PENNY YOU HURT HIM]

[in4apounding]

Oh no, I'm so sorry!

[SHE DONE A BAD]

I just meant- even if you were, that doesn't make you a bad person! Um- I mean, even if that's what your profile says! Other people's have been wrong! And even if it's not, I'm sure you're the BEST waste of space there could be, it doesn't have to be a bad thing!

[titularly]

[You're killing him... the damage has already been done..]

How isn't it a bad thing?! Everyone else has these cool titles and all I got is someone calling me a piece of shit!

[Osomatsu brings a hand up to his eye, wiping away a tear.]

I work so hard and for what? Just to be treated so poorly?

[in4apounding]

I'm sorry, please don't cry Mister Osomatsu! I'm sure you're not a piece of- waste.