airlockedmods (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
airlockedmods) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
theairlock2017-09-03 12:31 pm
airlockedmods) wrote in theairlock2017-09-03 12:31 pm
week 4
[Four weeks in the Starfield Penitentiary and seven people have lost their lives to Blaze Dudely's cruel game. At some point the robots cleaned up the mess left behind and by Sunday the involved rooms (including the fridge) are all clean and free of blood. In fact there's no sign left of any of the deaths that have happened on the ship so far by at least the next day. The only physical signs that people are gone are the empty beds.
On Sunday morning, you may find that you're recovering a a few other things as well - both strange dreams and some new items.
In addition, there's a new set of doors at the end of the corridor, in the space between the infirmary and the exercise yard. Looks like you've got a new wing to explore.]
Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday
(( ooc: Don't forget to turn in your AC for Week 3, submit your memory regains, and put in your benefactor threads! ))
On Sunday morning, you may find that you're recovering a a few other things as well - both strange dreams and some new items.
In addition, there's a new set of doors at the end of the corridor, in the space between the infirmary and the exercise yard. Looks like you've got a new wing to explore.]
(( ooc: Don't forget to turn in your AC for Week 3, submit your memory regains, and put in your benefactor threads! ))
no subject
She scoffs at his comparison of herself to Hawke, immediately rejecting the idea even as her cheeks color. The kind of woman... ]
The Champion of Kirkwall. No. I'm not...
[ She sighs, brushing her hair back where it hangs down on one side. Immediately, it falls back, obscuring half her face. ]
I'm not like her. I'm not like any of them.
[ Them. Hawke. Tex. Carolina. The others in Varric's story - Aveline, Isabela. She's not strong like them. She's not brave or tough, and she'll never be a hero like they are. ]
I'm not...Champion material, Varric.
no subject
[He knew where she was coming from. There were a great many people who were eager to call Varric a hero after the Qunari attack. Naturally he'd deferred their attention to Hawke. He knew heroes, and they weren't dwarves with penchants for drinking and gambling.]
You've read the book. You know just as well as I do that you don't have to always be heroic to be a hero. I could write another book on all of Hawke's blunders. A third on all the times where I had to drag her out of bed to get something done.
[Maybe he should have considered himself a hero, considering just how arduous of a task it was to rouse the champion from her plush quarters.]
Being a hero isn't about who you are every day. It's about who you are when it matters. Hawke was a hero because she saved Kirkwall from those that would have brought it to its knees.
[He paused a moment, tapping a finger against his chin as he did.]
Do you think Hawke felt heroic when she had to kill her mother? She had to turn away from the one of the things that made her the woman she is today. I'd say you two at least have that much in common.
no subject
[ How can she explain? How can she make him see that she'd never measure up? CT lets out a slow breath, considering his words of encouragement, trying to untangle all her bottled-up feelings of apprehension and inadequacy that had come with Project Freelancer. ]
There was a...board, back at the Project. A leaderboard. Only the best soldiers reached the top. The smartest, the fastest, the strongest. People who didn't make mistakes.
[ Her own words to Wash, echoed back in the same bitter tone she'd used then. ]
I was never at the top. I was never even on the board. I wasn't good enough. When it counted, when it mattered...I fucked up. I made mistakes. I failed.
no subject
[A smile crossed over his lips, one that was both careful and restrained. He didn't want to come off as if he was mocking her.]
Sounds like a good thing, not being at the top of their list.
no subject
...I guess...maybe the board didn't really matter.
[ It had sure felt like it did. Even when she'd first arrived here, her one, overwhelming fear had been that she'd screwed up one mission too many. That the Director had finally decided she wasn't worth keeping around, and had kicked her off the Project.
Then her memories had started to return, and she'd begun to realize that there were other things that mattered much more. That there was a world beyond Freelancer, and that maybe the things they were doing, the people they were killing in pursuit of the next objective...maybe it wasn't all worth it after all. Still, that doesn't change the facts. ]
But the board didn't change who I was. It didn't make me mess up.
It just put a number on it.
no subject
I'm not calling you a god here, Soldier. Just a hero.
[Neither she nor Hawke were the Maker. Leading a life without mistakes was meant to be reserved for a higher power, not mortals like themselves. And trying to hold to a life without missteps sounded boring to him.]
Do you know how many times I cleaned Hawke's vomit off of my shoes? Or had to patch her up after she took a wrong turn, straight into a spider's nest. I'm just a nice enough friend not to write about every mistake she makes.
no subject
She smiles a little more at the mental image of Varric chasing after Hawke, cleaning up after her and bandaging her wounds. ]
Are all heroes like that?
[ She tries to imagine Tex throwing up after one too many drinks, or bumbling helmet-first into a spiderweb, and can't do it. ]
Their stories? Is it all just the good parts?
no subject
[Even Andraste, Varric was certain, had to have made her mistakes. Surely in her Marches she stepped in horse shit once or twice. Historians just wanted to secure their place at the Maker's side, and kept it out.]
Even I screw up. Hard to believe, I know, but it happens.
no subject
She couldn't have done it without you, though.
[ Varric had been careful to write Hawke as the hero of her story, and not himself. He was always there, but in the background. A supporting character.
She knows, though. Meeting him, reading between the lines...it's clear how important he must have been to her. ]
You're a hero, too.
no subject
Not so loud, Soldier. Don't give anyone the wrong idea.
[He was the handsome sidekick, meant to elicit forbidden fantasies from both men and women. Sometimes, he might even be the voice of reason, or the cause of something going right.
But the hero?]
That's a role suited for someone taller, I think.
no subject
Your height doesn't matter.
[ But she knows it's not really his height that's making him so reluctant to accept her praise. ]
I'm serious.
If I can be a hero, you definitely are.
no subject
[People around him were still dying. He might not have been close to everyone, but there were still innocents in the bunch. The idea of counting himself among the greats while they were still locked away didn't sit well with him.]
When we get out of here, then we'll talk.
no subject
Okay.
[ When we get out of here. She smiles bitterly. ]
Sure. When we get out.