Beep Beep we're going to Sparby's

[airlockedmods]

Once everyone's in the dick limo and they've watched the Fantasy Sweet burn down behind them (dodging the flaming debris once the pressure builds up enough inside to make the whole thing go nuclear), it's off to the nearest fast food planet.

Which...is about five lightdays away.

Luckily for you, you have your very own Personal Artistic License to keep you entertained. So PAL bounces around the back of the limo, sitting in every lap that will have him, as he tells the story of Kip from the day he hatched as a tiny, impressionable smeet to present.

Sparing absolutely no detail.

Especially about the part where Kip failed his navigator's exam because he stopped at Then-Foodcourtia and crashed the ship into one of the greasy pustules that had sprouted on the planet's surface, destroying the aircraft and boiling his instructor alive in the fiery grease of hell.

So now there's a dick limo parked in the Sparby's parking lot. For anyone who had Arby's or Arby's-adjacent restaurants on their home planet... The menu's not much different. Everything meat-based is 100% beef, the milkshakes look delicious, and of course there are turnovers (apple, cherry, and chocolate).

Which... well, catch Kip and PAL in the corner shoving milkshakes and turnovers in their faces tbh.]

Welcome to Sparby's, Survivors.
You earned it.

Comments

[scourgingstars]

How many of you are there?

[refusedtoleave]

Everyone is here...

[scourgingstars]

You're definitely one of Xander's, then? You'll have to forgive- [Ardyn looked over to the varying levels of insanity, then back at Natsuhi with the most long-suffering resignation known to mankind.] -...all this for the moment. We didn't exactly plan for things to unfold this way ourselves.

[refusedtoleave]

[You sure about that? Cause Natsuhi's pretty good at sighing as well.]

...How did this even happen?

[scourgingstars]

Completely freak chance, coincidence, fate, massive conspiracy. Take your pick.

[he has had it up to here with this nonsense and is just accepting this madness is his life now.]

Tenmyouji Ardyn, incidentally. And you are?

[refusedtoleave]

[Same. She misses when exciting was getting to talk to husband in the garden...]

To think we were that close. We might have found you given a bit more time.

[She bows her head.] Ushiromiya Natsuhi.

[scourgingstars]

Well, no point in worrying about that now, particularly since there's nothing left to find back there. Do you prefer first or last name?

[ardyn don't just say shit like that]

[refusedtoleave]

A shame there might have been something useful. But returning wouldn't be the safest thing to do anyway

Natsuhi...[There was a time she would have preferred last name, but...]

[scourgingstars]

Oh, we took anything useful. We weren't about to let that go to waste.

Natsuhi, then--it's a pleasure to meet you. You can simply call me Ardyn.

[refusedtoleave]

Good. I hope you ruined anything expensive-looking that you couldn't take.

It's nice to meet you. It's hard knowing what to call people here, not everyone has a last name...

[scourgingstars]

'Ruined' is a delicate way of putting it.

['blown up' is more accurate, but who is he to call someone on semantics]

We have a couple like that--it seems a bit improper, but one tends to get used to it.

[refusedtoleave]

[She doesn't care as long as it's wrecked.]

That's true. I'm still not quite used to it, it's strange people calling me by my first name...

[scourgingstars]

Well, it's a nice-sounding name if that's to be any consolation.

[refusedtoleave]

...You think so?

[scourgingstars]

...Yes? I'd not have said so, otherwise.

[obviously, goodness.]

I've heard quite a lot of names that are nothing like what one might have heard back at home. I find it fairly interesting, to be perfectly honest.

[refusedtoleave]

Ah...

[Well, this is awkward.]

...I apologize. People weren't normally sincere with me until recently.

[scourgingstars]

... [Awkward or not, Ardyn answered that with a genuine smile.]

I think I can rather understand the feeling. Try not to worry too much; this group is sincere almost to the point of being infuriating.

[refusedtoleave]

The people here are too. They're persistent as well. Like glue...

[It gets a nearly smile, even if there isn't much in it.]

[scourgingstars]

Oh, we've more than enough of that. I've never in my life seen any group so stubbornly persistent--and between us, that is saying quite a lot.

[refusedtoleave]

I can't talk about being stubborn. But I don't even remember how many times I told Yurika not to bother me...

[scourgingstars]

...You were subjected to being aggressively befriended too, were you?

[he has So Many stories of people being dumb, natsuhi]

Honestly, it's as though they've no sense of self-preservation whatsoever.

[refusedtoleave]

Yes. Yurika in particular is very threatening.

[Natsuhi's sure she came looking on purpose the mornings after a trial.]

Its funny. They told me I'm the one with the preservation issue.

[scourgingstars]

You should watch out for Clarith, then. She's the most astounding force for cooperation I've ever met.

[Ardyn laughed lightly, shaking his head.]

And they told me I was being stupid, in perhaps not so many words. That is quite funny.

[refusedtoleave]

Clarith...She's the albino one, correct? ... I must admit that I couldn't watch much of what was happening to you. Knowing they'd done the same to us...

[scourgingstars]

Clarith would be the nun with white hair, yes. She's hard to miss even in a group like this one.

[...said the pile of scarves with yellow eyes and violet hair, having unrealistic standards of normality.]

Understandable enough. And probably fortunate on my part, as I think I may have made a terrible impression for several weeks.