Beep Beep we're going to Sparby's

[airlockedmods]

Once everyone's in the dick limo and they've watched the Fantasy Sweet burn down behind them (dodging the flaming debris once the pressure builds up enough inside to make the whole thing go nuclear), it's off to the nearest fast food planet.

Which...is about five lightdays away.

Luckily for you, you have your very own Personal Artistic License to keep you entertained. So PAL bounces around the back of the limo, sitting in every lap that will have him, as he tells the story of Kip from the day he hatched as a tiny, impressionable smeet to present.

Sparing absolutely no detail.

Especially about the part where Kip failed his navigator's exam because he stopped at Then-Foodcourtia and crashed the ship into one of the greasy pustules that had sprouted on the planet's surface, destroying the aircraft and boiling his instructor alive in the fiery grease of hell.

So now there's a dick limo parked in the Sparby's parking lot. For anyone who had Arby's or Arby's-adjacent restaurants on their home planet... The menu's not much different. Everything meat-based is 100% beef, the milkshakes look delicious, and of course there are turnovers (apple, cherry, and chocolate).

Which... well, catch Kip and PAL in the corner shoving milkshakes and turnovers in their faces tbh.]

Welcome to Sparby's, Survivors.
You earned it.

Comments

[refusedtoleave]

Ah...

[Well, this is awkward.]

...I apologize. People weren't normally sincere with me until recently.

[scourgingstars]

... [Awkward or not, Ardyn answered that with a genuine smile.]

I think I can rather understand the feeling. Try not to worry too much; this group is sincere almost to the point of being infuriating.

[refusedtoleave]

The people here are too. They're persistent as well. Like glue...

[It gets a nearly smile, even if there isn't much in it.]

[scourgingstars]

Oh, we've more than enough of that. I've never in my life seen any group so stubbornly persistent--and between us, that is saying quite a lot.

[refusedtoleave]

I can't talk about being stubborn. But I don't even remember how many times I told Yurika not to bother me...

[scourgingstars]

...You were subjected to being aggressively befriended too, were you?

[he has So Many stories of people being dumb, natsuhi]

Honestly, it's as though they've no sense of self-preservation whatsoever.

[refusedtoleave]

Yes. Yurika in particular is very threatening.

[Natsuhi's sure she came looking on purpose the mornings after a trial.]

Its funny. They told me I'm the one with the preservation issue.

[scourgingstars]

You should watch out for Clarith, then. She's the most astounding force for cooperation I've ever met.

[Ardyn laughed lightly, shaking his head.]

And they told me I was being stupid, in perhaps not so many words. That is quite funny.

[refusedtoleave]

Clarith...She's the albino one, correct? ... I must admit that I couldn't watch much of what was happening to you. Knowing they'd done the same to us...

[scourgingstars]

Clarith would be the nun with white hair, yes. She's hard to miss even in a group like this one.

[...said the pile of scarves with yellow eyes and violet hair, having unrealistic standards of normality.]

Understandable enough. And probably fortunate on my part, as I think I may have made a terrible impression for several weeks.

[refusedtoleave]

[Natsuhi has multicoloured hair, it's never questioned, but she has it.]

I know albinism is rare, but it's not that surprising with all the people they've brought here.

...How so?

[scourgingstars]

...If you don't know, I think I might rather make a first impression as I am now, if that should be all the same to you.

[refusedtoleave]

...You do relise I'm going to learn of what happened before, don't you?

[She's going to cringe through a rerun.]

[scourgingstars]

I never said you weren't. But I was fortunate enough to meet this group as...something a bit calmer than what I turned into briefly, and I think that's the only reason I'm standing here right now.

[Ardyn laughed, somewhere between self-conscious and nervous.]

They got very stubbornly attached to something that didn't deserve it.

[refusedtoleave]

...I'm afraid I don't quite understand. Are you referring to something brought about by the memory loss? ...That caused quite a few problems for me.

[She can't manage humor for it, and only sighs.]

...It's a surprisingly common trait it seems.

[scourgingstars]

Something like that. I'm afraid I was rather a dramatically different person while working through my own memories.

[his majesty king ardyn lucis identity crisis]

Common and incredibly confusing, to be quite honest. But I suppose I'm grateful for it.

[refusedtoleave]

I can imagine. I avoided sleeping for a while because of it. Even when I had a good idea of what the dream would show me I didn't want to see...

[Just going to dip her head. Conveniently hiding her eyes under her hair.]

We probably wouldn't be here if they weren't...