Beep Beep we're going to Sparby's

[airlockedmods]

Once everyone's in the dick limo and they've watched the Fantasy Sweet burn down behind them (dodging the flaming debris once the pressure builds up enough inside to make the whole thing go nuclear), it's off to the nearest fast food planet.

Which...is about five lightdays away.

Luckily for you, you have your very own Personal Artistic License to keep you entertained. So PAL bounces around the back of the limo, sitting in every lap that will have him, as he tells the story of Kip from the day he hatched as a tiny, impressionable smeet to present.

Sparing absolutely no detail.

Especially about the part where Kip failed his navigator's exam because he stopped at Then-Foodcourtia and crashed the ship into one of the greasy pustules that had sprouted on the planet's surface, destroying the aircraft and boiling his instructor alive in the fiery grease of hell.

So now there's a dick limo parked in the Sparby's parking lot. For anyone who had Arby's or Arby's-adjacent restaurants on their home planet... The menu's not much different. Everything meat-based is 100% beef, the milkshakes look delicious, and of course there are turnovers (apple, cherry, and chocolate).

Which... well, catch Kip and PAL in the corner shoving milkshakes and turnovers in their faces tbh.]

Welcome to Sparby's, Survivors.
You earned it.

Comments

[cyan_maid]

I'm seventeen and I've seen plenty of shit, thank you very much. Including a drunk toddler of a man handing out panties in a pedal car!

[STICKIN HER TONGUE OUT AT YOU YA WACKO]

[serrata]

[ HAS THE ENTIRE GALAXY SEEN HER UNDERWEAR GOD FUCKING DAMN IT ]

[cyan_maid]

[LOOK

SHE DIDN'T WANT TO SEE ANOTHER GIRL'S UNDERWEAR OKAY JANE DIDN'T CHOOSE THIS LIFE]

[daughterofthemark]

[YES YOU DID. RII-SAN IS MORE POWERFUL THAN YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY.]

[cyan_maid]

[CAN'T CATCH ME GAY THOUGHTS]

[misanthropicprinciple]

...Okay, but I bet that was the highlight of the show that week.

[stitch_in_time]

...there's already a techno remix of th' song available on SpaceTunes.

[misanthropicprinciple]

Where the hell are my royalties?

[stitch_in_time]

Once we manage to track down the studio, I'll be sure to ask. Top priority, honest.

[scourgingstars]

[he's going to die trying not to laugh but dammit the effort is there]

[cyan_maid]

I mean...I don't think anybody died yet, so...yes, there was a lot of talk about the viewing spike when that happened. It still doesn't mean it wasn't stupid.

[Just going to fold her arms across her chest.]

But I suppose it's not sillier than putting on fake mustaches and pretending you're Hercule Poirot...and then plotting to pie your Dad in the face before he pies you. So...perhaps I'm being a little harsh.

[misanthropicprinciple]

That...

Is adorable. And also, I need to buy another turnover to throw at Dad's face, immediately.

[scourgingstars]

You do and I'll launch the karaoke machine at you.

[misanthropicprinciple]

Come on, it's family bonding!

[cyan_maid]

[Raising an eyebrow.] Really? A lot of people think my family traditions are kind of weird.

[Maybe not a hot turnover, Junpei?]

[misanthropicprinciple]

Well, I don't have many family traditions back home for comparison. And so far, the main family tradition here just seems to be spite.

[cyan_maid]

Hm...well, a man who reminds me quite a bit of my Dad told me to hold onto my hatred when things began to fall apart for us, so, I'd say spite is not the worst family tradition to have. Intergalactic conquest is by a mile, but I never asked for that, anyway.

[everylittlesecret]

... Do you have a copy of that because I did not get to see Panty Claus.

[misanthropicprinciple]

Neither did I, technically.

[everylittlesecret]

We should totes find a way to see it.

[cyan_maid]

Uh...well...it's pretty easy to find clips on Space Youtube?

[And remixes. And Christmas jingles. And dramatic reenactments.]

[everylittlesecret]

Holy fuck, now I know what I'm doing when we get on the internet!

[cyan_maid]

You really want to watch it...?

[everylittlesecret]

[She slowly looks at Junpei.]

Yes. Because I will not let a unlabeled family member of mine live that down when I do. He got drunk without me.

[cyan_maid]

Er...then...I do suppose it is your choice. I can't stop you.