Beep Beep we're going to Sparby's

[airlockedmods]

Once everyone's in the dick limo and they've watched the Fantasy Sweet burn down behind them (dodging the flaming debris once the pressure builds up enough inside to make the whole thing go nuclear), it's off to the nearest fast food planet.

Which...is about five lightdays away.

Luckily for you, you have your very own Personal Artistic License to keep you entertained. So PAL bounces around the back of the limo, sitting in every lap that will have him, as he tells the story of Kip from the day he hatched as a tiny, impressionable smeet to present.

Sparing absolutely no detail.

Especially about the part where Kip failed his navigator's exam because he stopped at Then-Foodcourtia and crashed the ship into one of the greasy pustules that had sprouted on the planet's surface, destroying the aircraft and boiling his instructor alive in the fiery grease of hell.

So now there's a dick limo parked in the Sparby's parking lot. For anyone who had Arby's or Arby's-adjacent restaurants on their home planet... The menu's not much different. Everything meat-based is 100% beef, the milkshakes look delicious, and of course there are turnovers (apple, cherry, and chocolate).

Which... well, catch Kip and PAL in the corner shoving milkshakes and turnovers in their faces tbh.]

Welcome to Sparby's, Survivors.
You earned it.

Comments

[kingshaming]

Ah, no.

Jane, what is ham wrapping?

[cyan_maid]

[Oh fuck me, thinks Jane Farron-Krackenburg-White-Fell-Crocker.]

N-No...Hamlet is...a subject of a play...by a fellow named Shakespeare. And she doesn't...it's "rapping", as in the song, you know, like...when the pimps are in the crib? Remember when I told you about that? It's just a fellow in a large house with a lot of girlfriends.

[kingshaming]

Ah! Yes... I 'got it' now.

[cyan_maid]

Good. We can, um, work on more colloquialisms later.

[everylittlesecret]

[SORRY SHE'S GOING TO BE LAUGHING NOW]

[cyan_maid]

...Okay, but, am I wrong?

[everylittlesecret]

[She shakes her head.]

Naw, just never thought I'd hear someone use that kind of an example for rapping. Most people would give artists names, or say things like "bustin some caps" or such.

[cyan_maid]

I am honestly through with busting any caps - and yes, I do know what that actually means. I was never the rap...person, in my friendgroup. If you wanted Dirk Strider, then I'm sorry to say he's not here.

[everylittlesecret]

[If she was drinking something, she would have spit out her drink right now, because sorry, she understood that as Dick Strider for a moment.

Though a dirk strider sounds just as bad.]

I am so sorry for your friends name.

[cyan_maid]

Oh, don't be, he reveled in the various dick jokes. Made most of them himself.

[everylittlesecret]

Fuck, that's good then. Someone who knows how to poke fun at themselves is a good person.

[cyan_maid]

He was a good boy. Strange and ridiculous, but deep down, all of his irony was sincere.

[And now he's probably dead.]

[everylittlesecret]

Sounds like a rare man right there. You're lucky to have known someone like that.

[cyan_maid]

Mm...it'd be nice to see him and the others. One more time, at least. But I think I'd darn near have a heart attack if they showed up in one of these "seasons".

[everylittlesecret]

Well, it won't be Space Bachelor if they do make another season. We burned the place down and took PAL with us.

[cyan_maid]

[...Just. Her jaw fucking drops.]

You - you burned...and took PAL?!?

[everylittlesecret]

Yep! PAL is that adorable little robot running around here somewhere. He's a baby, so don't mind him too much.

[SHE MIGHT HAVE A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO]

[cyan_maid]

...

[Just. Let her bring her fingertips to the bridge of her nose as she pinches it.]

I would greatly appreciate a full explanation of how in the heck that became a thing that happened.

[everylittlesecret]

Oh. Ooooh... yeah, the dick PAL? That was Kipper. Actual real and is only 8 weeks old PAL? He had nothing to do with any of this shit except run the mansion. Kipper just... man, he was hiding out below the courtroom, monitoring stuff and all. He was the asshole with the weird motives.

[cyan_maid]

...And now he's the green alien guy shoving way too many turnovers into his face, right?

[He has a conspicuous lack of bruises why did none of you punch him]

[everylittlesecret]

Yep. That's the Kipsters real form. Some kind of little invader happy dude who found love, and at this rate he and Queenie should just get married.

[He saved Chorizo's life at the expense of his own. Water. It burns him.]

[kingshaming]

[He's blushing]

Is that really necessary?

[everylittlesecret]

[She's an honest person, so she'll nod.]

Totally necessary. Ya'll are hilarious.

[kingshaming]

We've seen the... hijinks... you all got into, you have no room to judge.

[everylittlesecret]

I judge whoever I want to, because I know others judge me. Plus, what the hell else where we supposed to do? That place was awful. Ya shoulda seen it burn~