Beep Beep we're going to Sparby's

[airlockedmods]

Once everyone's in the dick limo and they've watched the Fantasy Sweet burn down behind them (dodging the flaming debris once the pressure builds up enough inside to make the whole thing go nuclear), it's off to the nearest fast food planet.

Which...is about five lightdays away.

Luckily for you, you have your very own Personal Artistic License to keep you entertained. So PAL bounces around the back of the limo, sitting in every lap that will have him, as he tells the story of Kip from the day he hatched as a tiny, impressionable smeet to present.

Sparing absolutely no detail.

Especially about the part where Kip failed his navigator's exam because he stopped at Then-Foodcourtia and crashed the ship into one of the greasy pustules that had sprouted on the planet's surface, destroying the aircraft and boiling his instructor alive in the fiery grease of hell.

So now there's a dick limo parked in the Sparby's parking lot. For anyone who had Arby's or Arby's-adjacent restaurants on their home planet... The menu's not much different. Everything meat-based is 100% beef, the milkshakes look delicious, and of course there are turnovers (apple, cherry, and chocolate).

Which... well, catch Kip and PAL in the corner shoving milkshakes and turnovers in their faces tbh.]

Welcome to Sparby's, Survivors.
You earned it.

Comments

[cyan_maid]

He was a good boy. Strange and ridiculous, but deep down, all of his irony was sincere.

[And now he's probably dead.]

[everylittlesecret]

Sounds like a rare man right there. You're lucky to have known someone like that.

[cyan_maid]

Mm...it'd be nice to see him and the others. One more time, at least. But I think I'd darn near have a heart attack if they showed up in one of these "seasons".

[everylittlesecret]

Well, it won't be Space Bachelor if they do make another season. We burned the place down and took PAL with us.

[cyan_maid]

[...Just. Her jaw fucking drops.]

You - you burned...and took PAL?!?

[everylittlesecret]

Yep! PAL is that adorable little robot running around here somewhere. He's a baby, so don't mind him too much.

[SHE MIGHT HAVE A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO]

[cyan_maid]

...

[Just. Let her bring her fingertips to the bridge of her nose as she pinches it.]

I would greatly appreciate a full explanation of how in the heck that became a thing that happened.

[everylittlesecret]

Oh. Ooooh... yeah, the dick PAL? That was Kipper. Actual real and is only 8 weeks old PAL? He had nothing to do with any of this shit except run the mansion. Kipper just... man, he was hiding out below the courtroom, monitoring stuff and all. He was the asshole with the weird motives.

[cyan_maid]

...And now he's the green alien guy shoving way too many turnovers into his face, right?

[He has a conspicuous lack of bruises why did none of you punch him]

[everylittlesecret]

Yep. That's the Kipsters real form. Some kind of little invader happy dude who found love, and at this rate he and Queenie should just get married.

[He saved Chorizo's life at the expense of his own. Water. It burns him.]

[cyan_maid]

[Yeah you better...explain........]

...Why do I feel like he'd be a very interesting cartoon character.

[seductively lounges on the 4th wall]

[everylittlesecret]

I know, right? Invader Kip with his little spastic buddy PAL. I would so watch that. Sober even.

[Yes, someone occasionally watched cartoons drunk.]

[cyan_maid]

Why sober specifically?

[everylittlesecret]

Because some cartoons and anime cannot be enjoyed sober. Like Excel Saga.

bullshit I watched Excel Saga many times, completely sober

[cyan_maid]

Sadly, I am not an expert on the animes, so I will have to take your word for it.

i wish i could focus on it sober, alas, i cannot because it's too all over the place

[everylittlesecret]

Me either. I just watched what they showed in the dorms on anime nights.

granted I was in high school so...

[cyan_maid]

Hm...I bet it was fun. College, I mean.

[Maybe when all this is over, she can think about higher education. That'd be nice.]

high school... the shit i watched during that time and can't ever focus on ever again

[everylittlesecret]

It was....... interesting. Not for everyone.

[cyan_maid]

I think it'd be fun to get a business degree, at least. Maybe. If shenanigan-filled space piracy doesn't pan out.

[everylittlesecret]

I'd like to get a medical degree.

[cyan_maid]

You should! You definitely should! How about this - let's make at least one plan for whatever comes after saving our friends and taking the Network down, and that's getting some college education!

[everylittlesecret]

I already have a AAS. I just need to continue on towards a medical branch instead of just a generalized science degree.

[cyan_maid]

Ahah, I...need to finish high school.

[WHAT IS HOMESTUCK]

But it'd be worth it for a business degree! Definitely.

[everylittlesecret]

Why not just go for a GED? I bet they have those is in space.

[cyan_maid]

I kind of want to have the full, normal girl experience, but...if all I can get is a GED, then I suppose it will do.