I won't cry, I won't cry. No, I won't shed a tear.

[serrata]

[ For the first time since this disgusting game started, Yuuri doesn't go straight to the garden after leaving the trial room. As promised, she goes to the kitchen and starts putting together a meal.

Anyone who comes to the meeting will find leftovers on the table -- to start with, anyway. There's tea, coffee, soda, whatever anyone wants to drink spread across one end as well, just in case no one can stomach food quite yet.

Yuuri herself isn't anywhere to be seen to begin with but there's a warm, sweet and almost spicy smell coming from the kitchen. And when she eventually emerges, she's carrying a full pot of katsu curry which she sets on the table and then quickly follows with another pot (it was the only thing big enough for all those servings, okay) brimming over with rice.

Katsu curry. This wasn't a victory. But she refuses to accept it as a loss, either. There may only be nine of them left now but they are alive. And so long as you're alive you can continue to move forwards.

She's come too far to give up now. All of them have.

Come and sit down and eat something. Or drink something. Or just sit with what's left of your family and let yourself remember: none of you are alone. ]

Comments

[scourgingstars]

[Ardyn wasn't sure how he'd gotten back to room seven. He wasn't sure if Church's shoulder was still under his hand, he wasn't even sure where he was right now.]

[It was supposed to work. Queenie was right there with him and with everyone, and she'd just disappeared out of his arms like the teleportation they'd spoken of. She was gone, and then she was gone.]

[How does it feel to be powerless, echoed Ardyn's own voice in his head, malicious and amused. Can't help your friends if you can't help yourself.]

[He'd believed they could protect each other. They'd been together, been chipping away at PAL's defenses and evasion. Ardyn had believed that not even one more person would have to die, and yet--]

['While you dawdle, people are dying.']

[Ardyn choked on a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding, staggering back against the wall and sinking to the floor.]

[She'd been right there. She'd been right there, and he was so sure they'd go together or not at all.]

[motherfucking_ghost]

[Everything was distant and far away, like a ringing of the ears after a blast way too close. The disorientation. The world dizzy and not fully upright.

Somehow, he moves. He couldn't say which of them had moved first. But move they did.

She was in their arms, and then she wasn't. The awful thought of Clarith did this rumbles in the distance. The echo of because you're like a glass soldier, rolling thunder.

Church finds the box. He hadn't meant to stray, but there was so much that was important and he didn't know where to start--but the box. It's open. He pushes back the lid, and those now familiar bottles of silver, each one labeled. Sitting there all pretty just for them.

He still hasn't read Nishitani's letter. Fuck, he still has the one for Queenie, and how is he supposed to be able to--

He can't fucking breathe when he brings the box, sets it on the floor with a clatter loud enough to shake the vials, but not break them. With a shaking hand, he takes one out. Sets it by Ardyn.

(he's fucking up his job, he's fucking up his job, he can't protect Ardyn if he can't protect himself, he's going to slip away from all of them and then there won't be anything left and if he was worth anything he'd be doing something right now--)

Takes out his own. Their names.

Maybe he shouldn't.

Maybe he can't.

The option is there.]

[everylittlesecret]

[Nari goes to the garden, not just for the memorial, but for something else as well. She heads to the roses, not caring as they scratch her with their thorns as she sits among them. She takes a deep breath and places her hands on the ground. It takes a moment before the roses starts growing wildly, overtaking their plot and slowly reaching into others. She stops at a certain point and gets up. With a little ice, she starts snipping white and red roses off of their stems. She carefully uses the ribbon and pieces from her dress to bundle two roses together, making enough bunches for everyone. Even the memorials will have a little pair of roses on them.

Next she heads to the one person she knows might need this more than anyone. But where is the nun?

When all is said and done, Nari will finally arrive in the dining room, looking relaxed and covered in dirt, blood, and scratches. And digging into the curry with gusto.]

Dining room

[misanthropicprinciple]

[At some point, still looking like the fury of man walking the earth, Junpei finds Nari.]

Can you let me into your room.

[He's trying not to let the anger out. Nari's not the one he's mad at.]

garden

[theundertaker]

[Somewhere between pawing through the dirt and snipping roses, Nari will feel a gentle weight on her back and a pair of familiar arms drape over her shoulders and fold in front of her. The garden just seems to be the place for this apparently.

And Cece, she...she just wants to mourn Queenie while at the same time silently thanking her lucky stars she still has the rest of them.]

[motherfucking_ghost]

[It's even more time later after setting the vials up, because maybe he's got other people to visit, and maybe he still doesn't know how to feel.

But eventually, Church sits down across from her, body posed at an angle so he doesn't have to look directly at her.]

I'm still mad. That you're mad. And also because of what you said. Just for the record.

You may not have been entirely wrong, though.

dining room

[scourgingstars]

...I do hope you're going to clean those scratches once you're done.

[nari what on earth]

Are you hurt?

[desperateprayer]

[ Clarith will not be seen. She refuses to come out of her room. ]

[everylittlesecret]

[Well, someone wants to see her. Nari knocks on the door and waits outside. If there's no answer, she'll leave and come back a while later and leaves a red and white rose with a note by the door.

Clarith-

What you did took a blind act of faith. It's commendable that someone can still hold such pure and true faith in those who stand against them.

Please don't think I hate you, because honestly, the only person I've ever hated here is dead. I'll take care of your pigeon for you until you decide to come out into the open again.

-Nari

PS: The red and white rose together stands for unity.

[daughterofthemark]

[Every fifteen minutes or so there's a knock on her bathroom door. This continues until she answers. Even if that's Sunday afternoon.]

[scourgingstars]

[A stuffed chocobo is left at her door, with a vial and a note tucked into the red ribbon around her neck.]

Clarith-

You made a mistake. But you did something reckless because it was what you truly believed would save us all.

I can understand that better than anyone.

Family is never so perfect as to coexist flawlessly without arguments, but that should not mean they'll immediately turn on one another and cast each other out. Nishitani and Queenie thought us a family. So do I.

So place your faith in us rather than PAL, and we will find a way out of this together.

-Ardyn

[daughterofthemark]

[Now that Arianna has had a chance to collect herself, she's around, doing her usual thing--going from person to person and checking on everyone. She's perhaps a little quieter than usual, and she keeps vanishing every few minutes, but overall she seems to be doing as well as can be expected.

Unless you follow her upstairs after things finally die down, when she thinks nobody can see her. She goes back up to the dance studio, like she did this morning (was this really all one day?), and curls up and hides in the corner to cry.]

dance studio

[everylittlesecret]

[Before Nari has a chance to track Arianna down, she sees the princess head upstairs. So she follows. It's with a lot of hesitation before she walks into the room when she hears the crying.]

Arianna Grande?

[Is it okay to come in?]

[misanthropicprinciple]

[Junpei's first stop is to the kitchen, where he climbs straight up the counter with no thought to his own safety or whether or not he's getting in Yuuri's way so he can rip that motherfucking puzzle off the motherfucking ceiling. If it's still there, anyway. Did PAL even solve it? He doesn't know if that would make him angrier. He doesn't know if there's angrier he can get.

After that he stalks off on a Cloverquest, and even after that he's in no mood to sit still and mingle. So if one absolutely needs to catch him, he'll be in the dining room for a few brief, tense minutes as he glares at the pot of curry like they've personally insulted his father (Tenmyouji Ardyn, the Once and hopefully Never Again King), then storms right off once more, leaving poor worried Michi and Tie behind to pururu sadly at the remaining Champions for a peck to eat.

Should anyone go looking for him after that, they'll find him in the second floor rest area, stripped back down to his white hoodie and kicking the living shit out of his old Kip pillow because fuck this game and fuck PAL and fuck everything.

Between all his injuries, he never got a chance to let Nishitani-san teach him more about fighting.

He never got to try firewhiskey with Queenie.]

God--damn--!

kitchen

[serrata]

[ She watches him come in without comment -- she'd be more shocked if he wasn't angry at this point. Maybe even a little disappointed, too. But Yuuri is a walking monument to directionless fury right now and it's almost gratifying to know she isn't in on this alone.

She watches him rip down the puzzle and it's only then that she speaks up. ]

I've got a pan you could use, if you want to burn it.

[ It'd make her feel better. ]

rest area

[myocordial]

[Heart didn't really expect anyone to be here, but... well. He probably shouldn't be surprised. It's a good place to work out all this anger, isn't it?]

...It's a poor substitute, isn't it?

[Beating up a pillow lacks a certain satisfaction, sadly. Better than nothing, but still.]

[motherfucking_ghost]

[Church leans in the doorway, arms crossed. He's not mad or anything, and in fact looks significantly less broken up/completely dead inside than he did after the execution.

Man, this is what it feels like when the tables are turned.]

I tried to make a punching bag. It just doesn't quite work, but if you weigh it down enough, it's something.

rest area

[scourgingstars]

Junpei.

[He let that frustration be worked out for a moment or two; anger was, as he knew well, so much easier.]

[But he called out calmly, a sharp contrast from the man that had been barely cognizant of his surroundings before the ceremony had started.]

...Keep your arm level with your shoulder. Wrist straight, strike with your knuckles instead of the back of your fingers.

[And didn't dare stop him.]

[serrata]

[ Yuuri sticks around the dining hall for a little while. She does the rounds of checking up on everyone -- making sure they've got a plate in front of them and something to drink in their hands. It takes a while before she actually sits down with her own bowl of curry and rice and even longer before she actually makes herself eat any of it. She's got a slightly disgusted expression on her face and it's pretty clear by the way she's shoving the food into her mouth that she's barely even tasting it. She just needs something, anything in her stomach to give her the strength to keep going until tonight.

When she's finished eating, Yuuri stands herself up and goes to the garden. It's the most loathsome of traditions but she cannot make herself abandon it even now. Especially now. Queenie and Nishitani get their memorials on the same plot as all the other victims -- all the other dead. But when she's done with that?

She starts clearing another plot.

It's going to look like a mess. It'll be wildly inconsistent with no uniform colour scheme whatsoever but Yuuri doesn't care. In the damp, fresh earth Yuuri plants ten new flowers.

Iris for Ardyn.
Cosmos for Junpei.
Snowdrop for Clarith.
Peony for Arianna.
Zinnia for Heart.
Gladiolus for Church.
Lily of the Valley for Choromatsu.
Orange rose for Nari.
Red rose for Cece.

By the time she's done, Yuuri's a sweaty, muddy mess and she's a little out of breath. But when she stands up, her legs are steady. She gazes out onto the new plot, the newly planted flowers and reaffirms that vow in her mind:

Never again. Not one more person.

She'll be in the garden for the rest of the evening. She takes the time to visit each of the memorials, hands clasped together and muttering quiet messages to the death under her breath. And when she's done with that, Yuuri goes to visit Ruu's. She'll be there for a while. ]

garden

[everylittlesecret]

[She's back in the garden for the evening after running around and doing this for a while. Nari just wants to make sure she didn't accidentally use more power than she meant to when growing the roses. Sure enough, they did not take over everything.

Then she spots Yuuri and heads over to her, kneeling down beside the girl as she prays. Carefully she reaches over a holds out two flowers, a red and white rose, for Yuuri.]

[myocordial]

[Heart takes a few moments to collect himself first. When he shows up for the meeting, he's back in his human form.

The previous trial... Rhys, Angel, all of that... it had nearly broken him. Taken the fight completely out of him, left him feeling tired and useless. The pain this time is comparable. The feelings for each of his human friends are different, unique in their own way, but the loss of Queenie hits him just as hard as that trial had. The hits just keep on coming.

The difference is that, this time, the emotion that's strongest isn't despair. It's anger. Despair is quiet and empty and... nothing he can do anything with. But anger?

Oh, he can work with anger.

So despite everything that's just happened, despite yet again failing to save a friend, Heart's eyes are very focused. He has his list out again, but he's making some... changes. Including crossing out two names.

There's nothing to channel this anger into quite yet, but... that's familiar enough. He can be patient.]

[scourgingstars]

[There was someone who understood that focused look, and after a little while he'd finally shown himself outside of room seven. A cup of tea was set within Heart's reach, Ardyn pulling out a chair across from him.]

My apologies--I've never thought to notice if you need to eat or drink anything. If you can and should feel up to it, that might help.

[motherfucking_ghost]

[It's definitely some time before Church (and Ardyn) show up, the concern cube now no longer mysterious box in tow.

The vials of memories, with names for each one of them, minus the two, are lined up on the table.

(He's keeping the box.)]

[scourgingstars]

[Clarith's is also taken care of, once she proves to be conspicuously missing.]

Saturday because we know it exists now

[desperateprayer]

[ After Arianna finally get to Clarith, she'll eventually leave her room and just. sit in the garden, in front of the memorials. She doesn't move. She's not wearing her nun outfit today, but instead her Yatski outfit, shawl drawn tight around her. She doesn't say a word. Anyone who actually wants to talk to her can find her here. ]

[misanthropicprinciple]

[Oh, this is probably a bad idea. It's been one whole night and Junpei's still more anger than flesh. But after a few seconds of still, wordless fury at Clarith's back, when he finally moves, it's to sit stiffly next to her. And when he finally speaks, it's not at her his anger's directed.]

No more.

[No more death. No more memorials.]

wtf this got so long i'm sorry

[shikosuki]

[ So many times now... Choromatsu has spent these "after parties" depressed and trying desperately not to fall apart and break down crying. This time though while he is still empty and exhausted, still feeling the grief of losing Queenie, he's also angry as hell. Not at Queenie (he could never be angry with Queenie) but at the way things unfolded at the end. He would rather have died back there with her, end it all like he said, than to have her so cruelly torn away from them in a moment where they all felt united. He was denied that. Everything he said was made pointless and worthless, all because of...

...

He has to go to his room first. He has to get some of this out of his system before he does something truly regrettable. So he trashes the room he once shared with Takumi, throws an absolute fit, screaming and cursing where no one can hear him. He can't do this in front of everyone right now - he doesn't know what he'd do like this. Who he could hurt.

He only calms down when he comes across Takumi's letter for Queenie in his rampage. The one he said he'd hold onto until she was ready to read it. When he sees it he stops, picks it up and sits on the bed. It takes him a while to do anything else but look at it... a lot of internal debate, a lot of waiting for his heart rate to slow... but eventually he ends up opening and reading it.

...A week ago this would has wrecked him and turned him into a crying mess. But now he just gets up and heads to Kip's room.

When he's there he just... sits himself on the bed. Helps himself to a candy, if any's left over. There's no cameras here so he takes his time, and once he's sure he's alone, he starts to quietly read it out loud. When he finishes he goes silent again.

... ]

He loved you a lot you know.

...I loved you too.

[ He should have said it sooner. You'd think losing Takumi and Angel would have taught him that. She'd done so much for him, cared for him so much... She was one of the people that saved his life. And yet he hadn't been able to do anything to save her in the end. He was useless... ]

I'll get back at those bastards. [ PAL, the network... ] No matter what it takes; I promise.

[ He's done being useless.

After spending a long time in there he finally leaves. Though on his way out he leaves the letter on Queenie's new memorial plot covering it with a small mound of dirt so hopefully no one else will read it.

He finally appears in the dining room after that, though he doesn't help himself to the curry. As much as he loves Yuuri's cooking AND curry, he knows there's food in the kitchen too... after all, he helped. So no offense Yuuri but before he sits down he ducks into the kitchen and starts bringing it all out. The sandwiches, deviled eggs, fruit skewers, shrimp... all of it. Whatever he sees and knows she made he brings out.

When he's done he only says one thing. ]

Queenie made all this. We shouldn't let it go to waste.

[ He refuses to.

When he sits down, it's with a plate that is loaded up with a bit of everything. At every single afterparty previous, no matter who was cooking, Choromatsu never ate. Even the week where he helped cook, he gave it to others and had none himself. Every Friday he had gone without eating a thing. And it wasn't because of who made it or any lack of trust-- he had always trusted food served to the whole group, it was logically the safest. No, it was because he had no appetite and knew he wouldn't be able to keep it down. But today? He's practically stuffing his face. Still going at a pace that allows him to savor it all though.

He wants to make sure he can remember later. The way her food tasted. Not quite as good as his mom's (too different) but close enough. The taste of the coffee she made him, of muffins, of challah, of dinner that one time they had that date...

He's too focused on the food and full of frustration and guilt to even notice the tears that started falling down his face. ]

dining room

[scourgingstars]

You're right.

[A scattered few weeks as a human was less than nothing next to two thousand years without a sense of taste. The first time in ages he'd eaten anything and actually appreciated it had been in this room--had it been Yuuri's cooking, or Queenie's? Ardyn didn't remember and it probably didn't matter.]

We're not letting her efforts be for nothing.

[Hand him a goddamn sandwich, Choro.]

[theundertaker]

[Cece doesn't make her way to the dining room until after her making sure Nari is okay in the garden but when she does she's not stopping to eat, not yet. Her hair is flaming red today, tied back with the most orange ribbon she could find and she took enough time to put on her reddest lipstick.

While everyone decompresses and compartmentalizes and does their best to not break further over katsu curry, Cece is going to make her rounds to each and every remaining Champion. She is going to wrap her arms around them in the tightest hug she can manage, to the point of almost being painful, and then leave a very red lipstick kiss on them. Maybe on their cheek or their forehead or even on the back of their hand. Just somewhere where the bright red stain can be seen by a certain AI watching their every move.

These are her Champions. She is their host. And she swear on her own life and everything she holds dear she is going to do whatever it takes to keep them safe.]

[scourgingstars]

What are you-?

[Eventually, he'd get used to this whole hugging thing. He's working on it.]