theairlock | week 6

[Outpost 48-A. Reassignment. The Blues and Reds parting ways, maybe for good. In the wake of Tex's explosion, also possibly for good, Church doesn't even question the move. The base is old, reeks of abandonment. There's a fucking hole in the wall for god's sake. And he's the only one there.

The peace and quiet had been nice. At first.

Robots don't eat, and they technically don't need to sleep, either, so those are two activities to waste time off the list. There's a good deal of patrolling, at first, reveling in not having Caboose cling to him and interrupt every other word, in not having Tucker making dumbass jokes or whining about every damn thing. It's a good, fresh start. The change of scenery seems to do well by him. And he even halfway takes his job seriously.

At first.

The days to weeks to months pass with not a single other soul in sight, physical or spirit, with nothing to fucking do. He finds, as he sets up some rocks to shoot (and miss) for the 187th time (he's kept count), that he misses explaining stuff in picture books to Caboose, and he misses goading Tucker into giving him stupid piggyback rides. He misses company. He misses other people, even if other people are hell, even if other people suck, he'd take a shouting match over the definition of irony over the vast god forsaken nothingness that his life has become. The ache in his chest over Tex has dulled--still ever-present, but dulled into the background radiation of his existence. No one's coming. Not even more teammates. They always meant for him to be alone. To, what, to slowly lose his fucking mind? To get touch-starved to fucking death? Talking to himself only goes so far, and he marks off a year, with still nothing, a whole year of nothing and more, and is it possible to die from literally absolutely nothing? Because he's pretty sure if he plays one more game of solitaire in his head, he's going to just rip his own non-existent visor of a face off.

Church awakens in the middle of the night, still several hours from the morning call, staring at the dark ceiling for a few blank moments before he reorients himself.

He is, in fact, not alone here.

Wordlessly, Church rises from bed, sheet tucked around his shoulders, and crosses the room to Ardyn's bed. His roomie might not be in the best mood, and maybe his skin is corpse-like in temperature, but he's a living being that he can touch and feel just a little less alone with. He cuddles up in the bed while draped over as much of Ardyn as he can be, and he's not going to hear any god damn argument about it.

Eventually, eventually he feels it's safe enough to speak, that when he says something, there will be a reply and not just an echo in his head.]

All that time...how long were you alone in the dark? [Because fourteen months is just a fraction of a percentage of what Ardyn's been through; it's no wonder he is like he is with the darkness inside him screaming and scrabbling for purchase, digging deeper and deeper.]

[In the morning proper, after his usual morning workout routine, Church makes his way to the garden, actually bothering to visit the memorials properly instead of mostly passing them by. It's the pigeons that really get to him, though. He can't tell any of them the fuck apart, but some of the dead had gotten attached. Or the birds had gotten attached to the now-dead. He'll sing the lyrics along, quietly, though.

In the third floor rest area, he's poking through games again, only this time he's actively pulling a couple out to take with him. Not to use today, maybe, but definitely later. In the kitchen, there seems to be a small fire. There's smoke, anyway, but it's nothing huge, and in fact seems controlled. If, uh, if you want some toast, don't use the toaster, because he's using it right now. Mostly to burn Rhys' underwear with Jack's ugly fucking mug on it. And by evening, fuck it, he's relaxing in the hot tub, and you're welcome to join him.]

['Tonight, the dreams of the blood royal come to an end.']

[It was always going to come to that. Everything from two thousand years hence had led to that moment, in a broken Citadel beneath a blackened sky and blocked out sun. Ardyn himself atop the throne, glaring down at the Chosen King and his three glaives. Ultimately, it was a duel in and above the streets--two kings in the dead city both had once called home. Twin Armigers clashed, red and blue the only color in a darkened Insomnia ravaged by daemons.]

[And in the end-]

['What will you do? Banish the daemons and bring peace? Erase me from history once more?']

[Hatred still burned, but now it was the smoldering cinders left behind in the wake of a wildfire that had been doused in exhaustion. Ardyn was just...tired. Everything had unfolded exactly as he'd hoped, exactly as he'd needed it to--the rest was now a foregone conclusion.]

['This time-']

[Those clear blue eyes focused on Ardyn, calling back to something long forgotten when a long past ancestor had glared coldly at Ardyn though he was some kind of monster.]

['-you can rest in peace. Close your eyes... forevermore.']

[Ardyn couldn't quite tell if he was smiling; he did that quite often. People never questioned a lighthearted demeanor, and never guessed that it was a thin veil to cover the anger that had now ravaged the entire planet. But maybe...if he was smiling now, then just this once it may have even been sincere.]

['I will await you...in the beyond.']

[Everything from here was left to Noctis; to erase the scourge and bring back the dawn. The 'sky of burning light' had flared brighter than ever one final time and finally, finally went out.]

[Or so he briefly thought, before his eyes opened in a darkened room 7. It took Ardyn a minute to actually realize where he was and how he'd gotten there, why he wasn't covered in blackened blood and why the Ring of the Lucii was on his hand rather than Noctis'.]

[It was the sudden invasion of personal space that startled him back to the present--out of Insomnia in the rain to a simple room with someone insistently shoving his way against Ardyn's shoulder. How long were you in the dark carried an odd sense of deja vu that he ignored, trying to focus on the question itself.]

['Oh, Noct...how I have waited for this. Longer than-']

...Longer than you could ever know.

[He nods a little, the motion almost lost in the dark. He'd go mad. He'd go completely and utterly insane. It's something he's certain of, now, if somehow he hadn't been before. How long had it taken for Ardyn to feel safe enough in the world to even be around people again, even if people he hated, people who didn't know who or what he was? Too long.]

I don't know how you did it. Sure, you're crazy, but you're a coherent crazy. Pretty impressive. In a horrifying way.

[Ardyn didn't answer with the hollow or derisive laugh he might usually have met something like that with. For a long moment, he didn't answer at all.]

[He'd been insane for a very, very long time, hadn't he? Logically, he knew that. And he also knew he hadn't cared. What drove a healer to become a destroyer was merely a part of him now, and he embraced the complete madness because it felt right. The gods, the Lucii, the whole planet deserved what was coming to them as far as Ardyn Izunia was concerned. What reason did he have to question his own insanity if the end result was justified?]

[Anger was always easier.]

...I don't think that I know either.

[Ardyn must've remembered something, too, but--that's for him to say, in his own time. No pressing each other this go round. Just pressing against each other, or at least Church pressing to him for the sake of a living body and a voice not his own. Concerned, of course he's concerned, but it's not some raging monster in bed, so he feels safe.]

...Hey, so, no running off this time, cuz, spoiler alert, I won't let you. Or I'll follow you around if you do.

I've not left yet, have I?

[It seemed like far too much effort to try. Ardyn was far calmer this time, the blazing vengeful anger of the week before having given way to that deep exhaustion.]

I...'m just saying. If you felt like it. I need you to stay until morning. [Not want. He needs it like breathing right now. Even if he gets shooed back to his own bed, it'd be enough to know there's someone else here with him. Worse too with remembering how hurt, how disappointed he'd been that time Ardyn had left, after saying he wouldn't. What a shitshow that had been. What a shitshow the past several memories. What a shit week. Fuck.]

[Until morning.]

[Now that was funny. 'Morning', like there was anything resembling dawn in this place. Like Ardyn hadn't spent ten years under a blackened sky, and two thousand more before it in a darkness entirely his own.]

[Did it even matter that he wasn't alone this time? Did any of it matter when he felt the edges of despair as Ardyn slowly began to realize the possibility he'd never be able to die now unless he did it here of all places?]

[Why couldn't the last shreds of something human just drown already so he could be done with it? So he could just push off the person on his shoulder and walk out, ignoring this ridiculous group entirely and not wasting energy on even pretending to care whether they lived or died?]

...I'm not leaving.

[Worthless. That shadow of a memory just refused to give up, even now.]

[Whatever tension Church might have built up dissipates in an instant. He can sleep soundly the rest of the night knowing he won't be alone. That this wasn't a dream. Please, god, he doesn't want to wake up to an empty base with nothing but his own rapid thoughts running him in wild circles.]

Humans are social creatures. Some are more solitary than others, but they're not made to be alone.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

hot tub

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Hot tub

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject