week 4

[airlockedmods]

[Just like the previous week the status quo is restored with frighteningly quick efficiency. PAL still makes the morning and night time announcements through the PIP on each Champion's arm, and still the Champion unitards are freshly laundered and re-hung each morning in their closets. Even the glass roses Choromatsu and Takumi broke after the trial in their fit of anger have been replaced with fresh ones. All signs that there was anything amiss this weekend are completely gone.

There's a new floor to explore, their "reward" for a job well done.]

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday



[ooc: Don't forget to to turn in your AC for week 3, submit your memory regains and put in your threads for the Benefactors!]

Comments

[myocordial]

[Damn it, Rhys, just let him be unhealthy about this! Gosh!]

...A display of weakness on my part. [Weakness when he has to be strong.] It's foolish and helps no one. Least of all Medic...

[She must still be there, with Banno. But all alone now, instead of with him there. He shouldn't be here.]

[plugout]

[ Man, hearing Heart talk like this? Kind of frustrating. ]

It's not weakness to... to let things bug you. And thinking that keeping it in'll help other people is dumb. [ ... ] Sorry. I just-- you're my friend, and I don't want this to end up, you know... screwing you up permanently.

[myocordial]

[Things that shouldn't make Heart do the mental equivalent of a record scratch: Rhys' words just then. And yet, here we are, as Heart suddenly falls silent.

His friend...

It's not that Heart wasn't aware that some of the people here liked him, he wasn't that dense. But the fact still remained that he wasn't really supposed to be... one of them, not truly. And it's not that he's a stranger to friendship. He has plenty. 108 of them, to be precise. Every single Roidmude. But not a single human.

Just when did that change...?]

...

[There's sense in Rhys' words and it's hard to argue with it. Not that he can truly agree with all of it, but...]

I understand what you're saying. Perhaps my words were poorly chosen. And hypocritical, perhaps. I hold myself to a different standard of strength than others. [If anyone else here was upset, Heart wouldn't call them weak. Never.] But I have to.

[plugout]

[ Rhys actually doesn't say anything at first. He's actually thinking, because Heart has given him a lot to think about in those few words. He's reminded of Nari, who'd been shocked by people showing kindness, who had been stubborn about accepting the fact that she didn't need to be everyone's rock. ]

Maybe back home you had to do that. [ Shrug. ] But here? Here, you're just Heart. You don't have to do anything here. I don't care what PAL says we have to do.

No one's obligated to do a damn thing if they don't want to.

[myocordial]

It's not an obligation to anyone but myself. A choice I made long ago.

[A promise to himself that he doesn't want to break. He can't break. He just... can't.]

...Remind me. Have I told you about why I look human, even though I'm not?

[plugout]

But do you want to keep doing that? I... I get it. Seriously. But you have a lot of friends here who want to support you.

[ He pauses. ]

You never did.

[myocordial]

Wanting to or not wanting to doesn't factor into it.

[Not anymore.]

We don't start off looking human. But for a Roidmude to evolve, they must first copy a human, taking on their appearance. It's a necessary step... becoming more human, so that eventually we can surpass humanity. [That's the idea, anyway. Whether that's how it works in practice is irrelevant right now.] For some, the human they copy is a matter of convenience. Others choose more carefully, for more personal reasons.

[It probably seems like a bit out of place to talk about this now, but this is gonna go somewhere.]

[plugout]

So what? What do you want to do or be here?

[ He pauses to listen to Heart, then. ]

So... was the human you copied a convenience? Or a personal reason?

[myocordial]

All I want is to get through this to the best of my ability.

...Neither. I wasn't given a choice in the matter. The human I copied was selected for me.

[plugout]

You can get through it and still... let people in. Relax.

[ ... but. whoa. The other line of conversation's about to be forgotten. ]

By your creator, or...

[myocordial]

That's right. I was, in fact, the very first to have a human form.

[The only one, for some time. So long.]

...Shinzo Hiroi. A businessman who refused to invest in my creator's research. A sound decision, really, but... Banno saw it as a personal insult.

[plugout]

... Jesus, the more I hear about this guy, the more I hate him. So he made you take this other guy's appearance in order to... slight him, or something?

[myocordial]

No. Shinzo Hiroi has no idea any of this happened. I don't think he's even aware of my existence.

Banno made me take this appearance because... after what happened, he was enraged. And so, with me looking identical to this man he so despised.. [Despised, despite barely knowing the man... Heart closes his eyes for a moment, breathing deeply.] He had something to take that anger out on.

[plugout]

[ Holy shit. What does he even say to that? He stares at Heart for a good long while before he looks utterly enraged. ]

So he just-- You-- He used you to-- What the fuck is wrong with him?! You-- He can't just-- do that to another person!

[myocordial]

[Heart is quiet for a moment, because this is... not something he generally tells people about. Not that there's really much need to, generally, but it's... a difficult subject.]

To have any objections like that, you must first actually consider someone a person. And he... did not. [He smiles wryly for a moment.] Not that I believe he would have any issue doing something like this to a human. He just couldn't get away with something like that back then.

[If ever someone deserved to be described as a sociopath...]

...There's nothing stopping me from choosing a different form. I could copy a different human. But I... I chose to keep this. As a proof of my strength and resolve. [He finally looks back at Rhys properly.] Do you understand? Every day of my life, simply by being who I am, I have to be strong.

If I let what he's done now affect me too much...

[To Heart, it's almost like admitting defeat. He has to be okay. Because if he's not, then Banno, even when he's not here, has power over him.]

[plugout]

... it means he's won.

[ Yeah. He gets it. Rhys falls quiet again, and it's a thoughtful kind of silence. ]

You know what I think, Heart? I think you're a hundred times--maybe more--the man that asshole is.

[myocordial]

[He's glad Rhys understands. It's a pleasant surprise. Well. Everything about his interactions with the humans he's found himself getting fond of have been pleasantly surprising.

As is what Rhys says next.]

...Thank you. I... appreciate you saying that. More than you might think. [Talking with a friend... really is very calming.] I will make sure he doesn't win, of course. No matter how dire the circumstances... and they were dire... the man is hardly invincible.

[It's hard to have hope. He didn't have much in his memory. But that was when he was truly alone. Here, it's different.]

I've proved as much once before. Now it simply has to happen again.