theairlock | week 4

Entry tags:

!round 2,
!week 4

week 4

[Just like the previous week the status quo is restored with frighteningly quick efficiency. PAL still makes the morning and night time announcements through the PIP on each Champion's arm, and still the Champion unitards are freshly laundered and re-hung each morning in their closets. Even the glass roses Choromatsu and Takumi broke after the trial in their fit of anger have been replaced with fresh ones. All signs that there was anything amiss this weekend are completely gone.

There's a new floor to explore, their "reward" for a job well done.]

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday

[ooc: Don't forget to to turn in your AC for week 3, submit your memory regains and put in your threads for the Benefactors!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ah--I did leave after all, didn't I? [Ardyn's tone was light, as though a mild inconvenience had only just occurred to him now. He turned to face Church with a smile that had nothing sincere behind it, like a mask that was barely even pretending not to look ominous.]

That was terribly thoughtless of me. You seem quite vexed by something, my dear Church--has something happened?

[If his eyebrows could hit his hairline, they fucking would. They'd fly into the ceiling if they could.]

You know you can't play that game with me, right? I'm not gonna deal with pod person everything's right as rain Ardyn.

That's so stubbornly thoughtful of you.

[The empty smile didn't falter, eyes sharp but still their normal color.]

And after I so callously abandoned you last night. I should scarcely deserve such loyalty.

You realize this, this thing right here, the thing you're doing, this is scarier than yesterday? Because it is.

Why, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm hardly trying to get you to worry needlessly about me.

[The problem: this was the truth. But after seeing something like that, Ardyn was having trouble grasping how to express any sentiment resembling 'human'.]

I don't know what the fuck you saw, but this is a vast different from the you you've been the past couple weeks, so if maybe you could get a fucking grip anytime now that'd be...awesome.

Oh, Church. My dearest, first, and closest friend.

How do you know that person was even real?

[That makes his blood drop a few dozen degrees, and the hand on Ardyn's shoulder raises like he's going to pull it back. As it is, it mostly just hovers there awkwardly.

How does he even know what's real, if he can't even be sure of his own history, looping again and again and again and changing everything just to change nothing--and how does he know what's real about anyone here? Everyone's shared secrets. Maybe not even all of them. Lee lied to them all.

Anyone could be lying.

No, if he starts thinking like that, PAL's already won. If he can just set aside the creeping paranoia that someone's going to be pushed to the edge, someone he knows and cares about, that someone's going to up and murder one of their number after everything, then he can make sure he's helping the cause. It's what Ardyn would want, if he wasn't being a god damn pod person.

...what if PAL can 3D print himself a new body. He doesn't have to pick a new look. He could just pick one of them.

No, fuck, no, that's not what's going on here, and if he finds Ardyn's body stuffed in a cupboard somewhere he's just going to set fire to everything. Everything.

Whatever's going on in his head, he needs snapped out of it. Maybe he needs space. Maybe he's decided he's just a fuckface now. Is it really worth all the effort Church has been putting in? The last time he put effort into any kind of relationship, Tex fucked off to the Freelancers, got Omega jacked into her skull, and was never the same again.

If he could just stop giving a shit, his life would be a damn sight easier.]

[But try as he might, he's incapable of not giving a shit. He's stuck with all the shits he gives, even if sometimes--a lot of the time--he doesn't let people know. So this is him, letting people know. Because if Ardyn falls from the ranks, out of their good fucking graces, then it means Church has to step up in his place.

So like fuck is he going to lose Ardyn. Don't make him hold that weight on his shoulders alone again. He's not any good at it.

All the static he's feeling, the too many things at once, he shunts it into anger, because it's a well-worn path, easy to tap into. His hands fist themselves into Ardyn's shirt, and if he can push the so-called king against a wall or solid surface at any rate, all the better.]

Because it wouldn't make any sense otherwise, you bag of assholes! If you run a long con, you don't blow it for no reason in the middle of the con! Something happened, you remembered something shitty, and maybe you don't think you can handle it, maybe you don't know where it leaves you, but that person, you are real. Whoever you remembered you were, the Chosen One, the king to save them all, that was the person you were to us. He's not just erased because, on a fucking whim, you decided that's not who you are anymore.

And you're a shit-tier liar, so there's no way you just made it up.

[He almost wanted to laugh, really. It wasn't funny. It wasn't funny in the slightest, but a low chuckle still left his throat as his back collided with the wall. It was either laugh or start screaming, cursing everything from the Astrals to Church and all things in between.]

[Why couldn't he remember anything? Why didn't he understand why he had killed the one person who could forestall the Starscourge? Why...how was it that everything every single person had ever told him had all been a lie? Had he ever been Chosen King at all, or was this all some elaborate joke played at his expense?]

[And why, why had he fallen so far from what he once was that all he felt was anger at a man he'd called his own Kingsglaive?]

You don't know anything. [Ardyn scowled, his tone dropping to a low growl as his eyes took on that unnatural yellow again.] I don't even know myself, what makes you think you're any different? What you've seen and spoken to these past few weeks...the man who thought himself savior, he no longer exists. The savior I thought I was would never have killed the one girl who sought to do exactly as he once wished.

[His skin took on that pallid gray again, a black corruption overtaking his face, and when Ardyn next spoke there was an ethereal growl undercutting his words that was markedly inhuman.]

...'Ardyn Lucis Caelum' wouldn't have murdered an innocent girl because she was trying to save the world. The King of Light wouldn't have killed a girl because she held back the Starscourge.

[And when he met Church's eyes again...Ardyn's eyes were yellow framed by solid black, tangible shadow staining pallid skin made worse by the snarl of frustration he wore.]

If I don't know what I am, how could you ever claim to know Ardyn Lucis Caelum even still exists?

Edited 2017-06-04 20:22 (UTC)

[He sees it happening, tracks the...the whatever diseased fuck is across his skin. Around his eyes. Hears it worsen his voice. So this is what he is. This is what Ardyn has become. Whatever it is, it's not human. Not the way any of them know to be human.

His fists shake in their grip, because hell yes he's scared, but if Ardyn thinks for one second that this demon clown show is going to scare his kingsglaive, his shield off, then he really doesn't know a god damn thing about friendship.

Besides. He's seen Tex at her worst. If he can still love the most terrifying force of nature the universe has to offer, then he can't let Ardyn's existential crisis get the better of him. He leans in closer, as if daring something to happen, something, anything, go on, make something happen.]

Because he's standing right in front of me, fuckface.

[Ardyn's scowl didn't falter, the corruption neither retreating nor worsening. He met Church's resolve with a challenge of his own, in two words:]

Prove it.

I don't have to. You're the one who has to prove it. Because I know he's there. You're just too blind to see it.

But okay.

[He lets go. Takes a few steps back, arms wide, determined face set in stone.]

Ardyn Lucis Caelum wouldn't have murdered an innocent girl because she was trying to save the world. I'm gonna remind you that we're buddies with a fucking mobster who frequently talks about how he murders people. And we're just fine with him. But this is more than just about murder. It's about innocence, and about saving the world.

So here are the stakes.

You could go home.

You could find out whatever is being held back, the truth about who and what you are, and be able to do something about it.

All for the price of one person.

You're smart enough and trusted enough that you might be the one to get away with it.

If you're not him, if you're someone that kills people who just want to save their worlds, if you're someone that doesn't give a shit anymore, then go on. Get it over with. What the fuck would you care?

[He wanted answers. Desperately, he wanted to know what he was and how he'd ended up like that. He wanted to know what happened to his brother, why Ardyn had stolen his name and become some kind of complete monster. He wanted to know if Noctis really was the king of prophecy, if it had ever been Ardyn at all, what had become of Lucis, Insomnia, Eos--]

[And Church was right. Every single person in this building trusted him, possibly more than anyone. Even if he was accused, he'd be able to talk his way out of it. Ardyn wasn't stupid, and he'd be back in Lucis by this time tomorrow.]

[He took half a step towards Church, right hand half-raised like Ardyn was prepared to throttle him, then stopped.]

['What was worth selling out this entire room?']

[...A Lucis he would never have recognized. Answers, but possibly thousands of years in which to contemplate them. Clarith, Junpei, Yuuri, Rhys, everyone the memory named Ardyn had grown accustomed to seeing every single day--all of it gone in exchange.]

[Ardyn froze, staring at the black ring on his extended hand.]

[Was he really going to sell out the hollow ruler's Kingsglaive just to earn what they could fight for and claim instead?]

Edited 2017-06-04 21:26 (UTC)

...This isn't-- [His hand was pulled back, pressed to his head as he staggered back against the wall again. The growl to his voice had lessened, corruption quickly beginning to retreat as Ardyn spoke.] This isn't who I am. Ardyn Izunia--he can't be my reality. If that should be true, I don't want to remember.

I wasn't... None of this was a lie. I wanted to protect everyone, truly. But how can I do that if I'm turning into this thing--this false savior which stole my brother's name and seeks to destroy all that I should have loved--Lucis, Eos, all of you, everything.

[His hands dropped to his side, the right with its ornate black ring curled into a fist before all the tension in his body left it--as though he had simply lost the will to fight. And when he finally looked back up all the corruption and deathly complexion had disappeared like it was never there at all.]

[He wasn't Ardyn Lucis Caelum, or even Ardyn Izunia. For just a moment he was merely Ardyn, trapped in a tangle of wildly conflicting memories between the savior he thought he was and the unholy horror he was turning into.]

...Please help me.

[Man, he is really glad that worked, because he has no idea what happens if he dies in this body. And dying sucks. Maybe as much as living forever.

He flops his arms to his sides, letting out a breath, and for a moment, just a moment, looks about as lost as Ardyn does. Because he doesn't know how to help. He doesn't know how to fix this. All he knows is that he's got to do the best he can to make sure his friend doesn't lose his shit completely--and irreparably.

It's getting worse, and if there's another week of this, he might not come back at all next time.

But the moment passes over him, and his arms are up again. So he can come gather Ardyn up into a hug. Honestly they could both use it.]

If these memories keep up, we're gonna find out sooner or later. [Might as well use 'we', because whatever Ardyn learns, Church ends up finding out. Sometimes by brute force. Like so.] But here's the thing about memories. They're yours, yeah. They're you and the choices you made and the shit that happened to you.

But they don't have to define who you are. You make new choices here. If you're a monster there, do you have to be a monster here?

Plus, our track record with monsters has been really good. All you have to do is let us know what's up. Like Lee didn't. We'll help.

...I don't know how I can even begin to explain this to the others. This isn't like what it sounded like Lee did--I killed an Oracle, Church. A messenger to the gods who did nothing wrong but dedicate her life to what I should have been doing.

[But he didn't really argue or pull away, arms settling awkwardly around Church's shoulders--with a short and hollow laugh that betrayed the exhaustion of someone who hadn't slept in gods only knew how long.]

You picked a miserable Lucian king to align yourself with, I think. I'm sorry.

I don't see any other Lucian kings to get with, and none who are my roommates.

You don't...have to try and explain it. Whatever you did...what are we gonna do, throw you out? You're one of us. Whatever you did. We don't have to understand. It happened. You'll figure it out, for better or worse.

And it's probably gonna be worse.

...Sorry.

At this rate, I've no doubt it will be. Whatever I am--whatever turned me into this and led me to take my brother's name instead of my own, I don't think it will be something I will easily handle remembering. If there's even a chance I might come out of this without losing the Ardyn you've all known here...I'm going to need your help.

...If I snap like that again, I'm telling you to do whatever you must in order to stop me. Before I hurt you or any of the others.

I'm guessing you mean something other than suggesting you kill me.

Which, really glad fuckface you didn't take the bait.

...Also pretty glad you didn't see your face. It was uh. It was worse. It was way, way worse.

[Okay that's enough hug this is awkward now.]

If you ever get an idea for something you think is going to help? For the love of god, let me know. I'll try anything at this point. Rest assured I was reeeeeaaaaally close to just punching you.

Yes, because that was idiotic and you're lucky I thought better of it. Past that I don't care what you do. Knock me out for all it matters, just don't let me do anything stupid.

[really church how 'bout for your next trick you go up to sephiroth and tell a yo mama joke]

...Sorry. Is it still there?

Eh, I've already died a couple times, what's one more? I'll get Nishitani to punch you in the back of the head or something. We'll figure it out.

[SEE NOW IF ONLY WE HAD A SEPHIROTH]

No, it's--you're good now. You're golden. You just got even worse demonic. So.

...I feel like maybe you're right and I'm way out of my depth here.

[Ardyn got very quiet at the word 'demonic', struggling to keep even a halfhearted smile on his face.]

...I know I'm asking too much of you.

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