airlockedmods (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
airlockedmods) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
theairlock2017-06-03 11:15 pm
airlockedmods) wrote in theairlock2017-06-03 11:15 pm
week 4
[Just like the previous week the status quo is restored with frighteningly quick efficiency. PAL still makes the morning and night time announcements through the PIP on each Champion's arm, and still the Champion unitards are freshly laundered and re-hung each morning in their closets. Even the glass roses Choromatsu and Takumi broke after the trial in their fit of anger have been replaced with fresh ones. All signs that there was anything amiss this weekend are completely gone.
There's a new floor to explore, their "reward" for a job well done.]
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday
[ooc: Don't forget to to turn in your AC for week 3, submit your memory regains and put in your threads for the Benefactors!]
There's a new floor to explore, their "reward" for a job well done.]
[ooc: Don't forget to to turn in your AC for week 3, submit your memory regains and put in your threads for the Benefactors!]
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[ Even now, after everything, this is the girl who still thinks Mai and Mikaela, Lee and Finn could've been saved. If someone had paid a bit more attention, if someone had picked up on or said the right thing... ]
We know what they want us to do. Living in fear of each other, letting ourselves get paranoid, refusing to trust anything... wouldn't that just be letting them win?
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Is there really nothing we can call 'unforgivable' just for the sake of staying together?
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[ She trails off and that steadfast masks slips for a second. She wants to believe he's not saying what he seems like he's saying. But she's too scared to ask just in case he tells her that's exactly the case. ]
After everything that's happened... I don't think we should blindly believe in everyone or try and sweep things under the rug. But for better or worse, we're all here together. And for now, that's all we have.
In a place like this... is that really so bad?
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[His own smile faded briefly, Ardyn looking for a moment like he felt a deep exhaustion suiting two full millennia.]
I only worry the limits of that belief are going to be tested very soon.
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She thinks of Junpei, waking up Sunday morning shaking and in tears and she thinks: how many memories like that might a person have across two thousand years?
She reaches out across the table and sets her hands on top of his. ]
Then... I suppose the question we need to ask is... do you trust us, Ardyn-san? Do you trust us in the same way we all trust you?
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[Ardyn blinked in surprise, as though that was the last reaction he actually expected. His hand wasn't exactly cold, but if just that much contact was any indication his body temperature was too low to be that of a living human.]
[When the prophecy is fulfilled, all in thrall to darkness shall know peace.]
[There was a spark of something in the back of his mind--that same frustration and rage he had felt facing Lunafreya. Don't you dare look at me and presume you know what this is like. I don't need your pity or your sympathy. Get out of my sight.]
[He glanced down to their hands--to the Ring of the Lucii only just visible between Yuuri's fingers. Either it was as fake as he was...or it was the only proof he was still Ardyn Lucis Caelum at all.]
...I think I may be turning into something terrible, Yuuri. Or--it may be more accurate to say that I did and am only now beginning to remember it.
The 'Ardyn' that all of you know...may no longer exist. And I don't know what the monster that replaced him might end up doing to any of you. If all of you trust the person that you know, then what he became will stab every last one of you in the back.
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Her hands tighten gently on his and she finds herself a little speechless. She knows she's just been told something of vital importance and that she's too out of her depth to fix this. Any of this. But that doesn't mean she isn't going to at least try and understand. Ardyn deserves that much. ]
... I don't... I don't want to believe you could do something like that. But I know you wouldn't tell me if you didn't honestly believe it could happen.
[ She should be afraid, she thinks. More than she is. Right now, that feeling is lost, mixed up with frustration, worry and the desire to try and do what she can to make some of this better if not right. And it's the fact that he's told her this -- the way he's told her, coached in words that make even the idea of all this abhorrent to him that restores her faith.
None of them want any reason to mistrust him. Similarly, Ardyn has no desire to give them a reason in the first place. ]
But... how can you say all that and think we've already lost you? How can you look at yourself, sitting here with me and talking about this like it scares you more than anything and think you went to sleep as yourself and a monster woke up in your place? If that were true, I don't think you'd want to tell me any of this.
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[Ardyn shook his head, trying to hide uncertainty with little success.]
...I'm saying this now because I don't know if I'll want to once I remember anything else. I don't know who I am right now; if 'Ardyn Izunia' is suddenly going to take the place of 'Ardyn Lucis Caelum', leaving all of you to the nonexistent mercy of someone with no heart to speak of.
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Then... right now... if you're not sure which one you are, why not choose neither?
As far as I know... I've never met "Ardyn Izunia". I've never really met "Ardyn Lucis Caelum". The man I know is "Ardyn-san". Someone trapped here with the rest of us, just trying to make sense of everything in the best way he can. It's not a perfect solution, but... for now, do you feel like being "Ardyn-san", the person we trust, and the person who wants us to be able to trust him?
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[then I'm hardly anything at all, aren't I?]
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[ Ardyn Izunia, Ardyn Lucis Caelum -- whatever name he goes by, he's a man from a world and a time Yuuri can hardly imagine. And yet she finds herself thinking if this is how she'd sounded on Friday. That apparent need to stand tall when all you want to do is go crumpling to the ground because it's impossible, it's all too much.
It's not fair, is it? No one should hold themselves to an impossible standard like that. Especially not here. ]
Ardyn-san. You have Church-san and Junpei. Me and Clarith-san. You have everyone else here with you. If you think we should be able to rely on you then... I think you should know that you can rely on us too. You don't have to do all this by yourself.
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