welcome to the mansion

[airlockedmods]

[The Champions wake up not in a bed, but alone on a plush, velvet seat. Some may recognize the backseat of a limousine, while some may not, but the windows are tinted black inside and out, and there's no chauffeur. All are wearing expensive formalwear, no matter what they thought they were wearing before.

The door opens by an unseen hand and reveals a gravel drive with a red carpet and a lavish fountain. Others are already there, and more limousines continue to pull up afterward. The front doors are locked, and overhead curls a large protective glass dome, keeping the cold void of space at bay, but hey, there's also an unparalleled view of the stars.]

Hey there, Champions, welcome to the IGS Fantasy Sweet. I'm PAL, your onboard maintenance system for this location. Your Overseer will arrive shortly. Please be patient.

Comments

[scourgingstars]

Then why on Eos would they list two separate names? I have only the name given to me at birth, as does my younger brother. One would think that if they were to abduct the reigning Lucian king, they might at least have their information correct. And as to your question, no. I'd not received word of anything unusual happening in the capital or elsewhere before I found myself here.

[Ardyn sighed in irritation, shaking his head.]

[...Did Church actually not know what his face looked like, or was this another example of that peculiar way of speaking he seemed to be dealing with? Perhaps it was better to question one thing at a time and leave that for later.]

As I said, it's utterly absurd. I do hope this isn't meant to be taken seriously, as it's doing a terrible job of that.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Waaait wait wait--you're actually king? Literally and legitimately a king? And you just got king-napped from whatever city or colony you were ruling?

That takes balls. Someone's gonna hear about a ransom at this rate.

[scourgingstars]

King of the Lucian nation, yes. [said as though that is really no big deal whatsoever, because does this LOOK like a guy who gives a damn about ceremony and formality]

As I said--an absurdly bold kidnapping attempt. Impressively so, if I am to be frank about my feelings on the matter. The Crownsguard is likely to be in quite a state once word of this gets out.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Yeah, you'll have to execute them all for being shitty enough to let their king get nabbed under their noses. And then there's training a new set of guards, and it's just a hassle.

[scourgingstars]

Execution is going a bit far in this case; mistakes do happen on rare occasion, and it is far from easy to find Crownsguard-quality soldiers.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Still, has anything like that ever happened before? These people must be really damn good

[scourgingstars]

Not to my knowledge, though I admit the royal family has only been established recently. We currently lack enemies with the power sufficient for something like a kidnapping attempt. In addition to that, the line of Lucis does have...shall we say, our own line of defense apart from the Crownsguard.

In short, this entire situation should be impossible. Yet here we are, and particularly here I am all the same.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Yeah, that doesn't sound magically ominous or anything... [What? ~our own line of defense~ come on, King Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Way.]

So until this guy shows up, or...girl, or person, or whatever, all we know is: [he ticks them off on his fingers] Obscenely rich, obscenely powerful, and on some kind of fucked up power trip. Super.

[scourgingstars]

[look if he starts explaining you're in for a lucian history lesson and not even ardyn wants to deal with that right now, gosh]

All the makings of the worst sort of dangerous tyrant.

[motherfucking_ghost]

...I mean, guess you'd know. The dangers of being a tyrant. Cuz like, you start doing tyrant-y things, then that's when revolutions happen, and before you know it, there goes your head.

[scourgingstars]

[That actually got a slight laugh out of him. Good job, Church.]

I do try to avoid that sort of thing. A monarch is only as good as his people believe him to be.

[motherfucking_ghost]

[He lives to entertain. He usually dies to entertain, too, but that breaks the 4th wall.]

Ha, nice caveat, believe him to be. Leaves you some wiggle room.

[scourgingstars]

No one is without flaw, not even a king. The best that we should hope for is to be one valued by those which we govern. Is that so terrible?

[motherfucking_ghost]

Like I said, beats getting your neck stretched out on the chopping block.

[scourgingstars]

I do hope to avoid that. I'm only the second in the line, so that would be a terrible omen for my brother's descendants.

[motherfucking_ghost]

What, no kiddos and heirs and princes and princesses of your own to take the crown?

[scourgingstars]

Regrettably, most of my time is spent traveling, so that's far from a luxury I'm able to afford.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Dude, everyone can afford to get down with someone. Well, not everyone can afford a kid, I guess, but that's not a problem for you, money-wise.

[scourgingstars]

I was not quite speaking in the monetary sense. Traveling is a hazardous thing to do where I am from, more so with a wife and children involved. And the alternative would be to leave them in Insomnia while I attend to matters elsewhere in the continent. Neither option sounds ideal to me, so I left that sort of life to my brother.

[motherfucking_ghost]

And you trust him and his to take care of things? Especially if you're gone a while, here.

[scourgingstars]

Of course I do. I presume this will be resolved quickly to whatever end, but should I be wrong I've no reason not to trust him with the country until I return. Izunia is my brother, and has ever been my dear friend.

[What could possibly go wrong?]