Week 4

[airlockedmods]

[After everything that this case was, you probably don't want to deal with anything else. But you wake up on Sunday, just like before, with some new memories, and some new stores to check out.

Let's see what this week brings.]

Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday

(( Don't forget to check in, and check your memory regains! You can also stop by the gacha machine and Xander's office hours. ))

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[induality]

[She sits-- because she wants to listen well to what he says. The times that he's opened up about his story, she's always acknowledged that they were special moments. The care he took into sharing it with her meant she absolutely didn't want to forget a thing.

As he tells it, other things begin to make sense. And she begins to see the true weight of the thing that Noctis gave her-- replica or not.]

...I was right about those people. As long as it wasn't affecting their lives anymore, it was just fine to let one person suffer in their place.

[It irritates her. Boils her blood.]

You gave those people your very life, knowing what it was doing to your own... and they betrayed you. Never mind the lives they were able to live because of you. Never mind the horrors they didn't have to face because you were willing to carry it in their place.

Starscourge...

[It's a sharp name. Terrifying. Yet--]

...that thing isn't nearly as terrible as humans can be. They got what they deserved-- with their actions they sealed their own fate.

[burninglight]

[Ardyn didn't laugh it off, didn't take some cold satisfaction in someone agreeing with him, didn't...do or say much of anything at first. He leaned his head heavily against one hand as if he wanted to just pass out against the table and sleep for a few centuries or so.]

I used to be certain they had their end coming. Now, I don't...think I'm so sure.

In all of it, the person I hated the most was my brother's descendant. He who was prophesied Chosen to banish the dark as I once thought I was: His Majesty Noctis Lucis Caelum CXIV, Savior to the Star. Did he deserve to have his life's purpose decided thousands of years before he was even born? Did the Oracle who spent her life healing the people as I once did deserve-...

[Ardyn's voice broke off, hand running through his hair before returning to press against his eyes in exhaustion.]

I don't know. The Astrals deserved the strings to their beloved puppets cut, of that at least I've no doubt. And it's true enough that humans are selfish, sickening, revolting creatures who care only for themselves and cast aside people of no further use to them.

...But I'm forced to acknowledge that if people were all like that, I'd have been standing alone in that courtroom holding a sword against a daemon far too much like myself.

[induality]

...no, not all people are like that. But until I came here I was sure that there were more like that then there were good. It's hard to look at something as big as "humanity" and see it clearly. It's always changing, and it's made up of more parts than anyone could count.

But that doesn't mean that you can ignore the part they played. Everyone makes choices. It's the actions of all people, not just one or two, that determine how a story plays out. It's easy to focus on the influence of one or two-- but each person makes a million choices every day, and those choices affect many people... not just them.

I just... don't think it's fair to blame one person for the way a story ends.

What happened to Noctis-- to Lunafreya... was no more fair than what happened to you. But it's complicated. More complicated than other worlds.

If you feel differently now... it's probably because you can step back and look at the whole thing in a new light.

[The way she looks at the world isn't unlike the way she looks at her own stories. It's probably fairly obvious. But she has great faith in the way she does.]

[burninglight]

...I've not felt proper emotion in too long to even measure. Even in the mansion I wasn't this, I wasn't human and I've no idea what caused that to change. Now that I've some perspective not veiled in blackened miasma, it's...painful.

I meant what I said to Xander and to Soma. No one else could ever understand this feeling--endless memories and thoughts in a mind far too limited and small to contain it. When I awoke here I felt like even this body didn't fit correctly for so radically different it is from the way I was.

I'm not certain how this person feels about what the healer's choices were, or what madness the Accursed wrought. I don't know if blame lies entirely with the gods, with my brother, with me, or if any one of us was truly responsible for the way it all unfolded.

All I know is...nothing, not who I am or what I want to do. I can't even comprehend if something can be done about any of this.

[induality]

No. I can't. Honestly the "fantasy" genre is incredibly jarring for me, and not something I could begin to understand.

[It seems a joke-- no. It is. But the tone shifts, and it's clear that she's making it at her own expense.]

You, Noctis, Soma, Xander... you're all so incredibly far beyond me. I feel... incredibly small and out of place in comparison. Even if I wanted to, there's not a thing I could do.

Next to all of you, a girl who writes silly books-- I don't know what they expect from someone like me.

I feel like I keep trying to keep up because I want to belong here... but I don't know if I really do.

[burninglight]

...now, that's not true at all. You were ready to fight with me rather than let me die alone. And even now, you're listening rather than calling me a monster and running out of here.

I think most of us to be some level of outcast here, Touko. And...frankly, if we can't belong anywhere else, why not here?

[induality]

That's... not exactly what I meant. I'm just a normal person. Compared to most of you, even if I wanted to help-- I'm probably more likely to hold you back. I don't have any particularly useful skills...

J-just because we're different though... that doesn't mean I d...on't c-care. And... human or not, I'm... still going to do everything I can to be useful. I'll find a way.

A-anyway--

Dracula... scares me more than you ever could.

[burninglight]

I'm not what I used to be. Now I'm no more human than you, memories and experiences aside. And I...I'm not quite used to caring about people. Yet I find that...I want to try, even knowing what kind of ending trust and selflessness lead to.

None of you have anything to fear from me, Touko. Not anymore.

[induality]

That makes two of us. Friends... allies... whatever it is, I've barely had any of that before. So-- we just have to figure it out. N-normal people do it all the time, it shouldn't be so hard...

[burninglight]

One would think not. Between the two of us, I'm sure we can work it out eventually.