theairlock | Week 4

[ Clarith won't cook. But she will grab some of the muffins, and then retreat. She's not in a good mood, and she's still shaky from the events of before, but... But it's not as bad as last week. She's recovering. Slowly but surely, she's recovering. She visits the memorial with the food, where there's two new blankets--a purple and silver blanket with Natsuhi's name on it displaying silver teacups, and a white and blue blanket featuring Soma's name with blue crosses all over it.

Once that's done, Clarith heads to check out the new places. And there, while she's confused at soup. for awhile, she'll move on and make note of the new places. She mainly hangs out at Prism and gathers supplies to paint. And then sets up in a corner of the store, and just. Starts painting. She's not the best, not by a long-shot, but she needs to take out her emotions on something. And what she ends up painting is a person with long, grey hair in a ponytail. She feels sad and missed him, really. And she wonders--hopes and prays--he's all right.

Later in the day, she'll explore Stronk and look at all of the equipment. Trying to figure it all out. Is this a place for training? What is it? After her short-lived visit here, she'll move on to Lightshow and look over the games. Maybe she should play a few...

Either way, Clarith will not cook today. ]

I find it perplexing how the other space game I was in and this one bother to place memorials to honor the dead.

[Nobody had thought of doing such thing in Hope's Peak. Togami has nothing against honoring the dead, but it doesn't seem like it should be priority -- yeah, he thinks it's Clarith's main priority because she makes custom blankets so soon]

...

[ Welp. He immediately hit a sore spot. ]

Togami. Would you like to be forgotten when you die?

[ Something tells her that, with his ego, he wouldn't. ]

A legacy ensures you'll be remembered once you die. Once my time to die comes in six decades or so, all the work I leave behind will be what shows I existed.

[Therefore he won't be forgotten]

...Then you understand why and you just don't realize it.

[ She stands. She doesn't tower over him, but this is obviously a sore spot. ]

We're the ones left living, so we carry the burden of everyone who has died here. Every person we failed to reach out to well enough, every person we couldn't protect from themselves. It's not my fault you're so stuck on yourself that you can't see why it's so important that any of these people be remembered. We are their legacy, Sir Togami. Because legacies include people, too.

You never stop that self-righteous shtick of yours, do you.

[Clarith is such a fool, willing to forgive Xander and all, and he finds her behavior senseless for the most part, yep]

So what? You're just going to remember more and more people every time someone dies around you? Where's the limit on that? You can't live for everyone's sake. That's going to weigh you down.

[He scoffs]

I already have enough dead people to remember. Adding more just for the sake of adding them's only going to be an unnecessary burden.

[He won't honor someone without a reason. Yuuri and Soma are people he couldn't care less about, now that they're dead.

He does stop in front of Natsuhi's blanket and whatever there is to represent Thomasin, at least]

[ Clarith doesn't even think. She just outright decks him. Sorry, Togami, she's not having the self-righteous talk from someone like you today. ]

I'm doing what I can and not looking down at everyone around me just because of the luck I was born with, you damned arsehole! People aren't a burden, they're people! They're lives and they had loved ones and friends--not that you'd understand the first thing about any of that! Human beings are just tools to people like you! You sort us by our usefulness and discard our memory because we're "lower" than you the moment you no longer need us.

[ She draws a ragged breath. She's angry. Very angry. ]

Maybe you consider them a burden, but I don't. They don't weigh me down! I keep moving forward, one step at a time, and I will carry those memories of these people with me because they can't walk forward anymore!

[ She's shaking. A lot. Because the dam's been broken, and he's basically getting a lot of vitriol she'd stored up for a long time. ]

Your status, whether you were elite, who you are--it means nothing here, Togami. You're just another person who could die at the end of the week. But at this rate, I'm not sure anyone would actually mourn that loss.

[Togami didn't seem it coming. He was there, examining the flag for Natsuhi, when Clarith decked him. He's stunned for a moment, he needs a moment to recover, and when he's not stunned anymore he finds Clarith being what he'd call 'self-righteous' again.

This time he's furious, though. His face gets red, and he steps towards her]

The luck I was born with?! You idiot, I have gone to battle and emerged victorious since I was a mere child! I have carved my own name amidst my generation, defeating every obstacle in my way with my own two hands! People like you, who think simply because of a family name it means life has been easier, are truly the most idiotic bunch if this world!

[He steps back]

Do whatever you want. Cry all you want, and make all the blankets you want. If this is what you want to be known for, then fine, be no more than the woman who says will forgive Xander in such a foolish manner, and who doesn't seem to have learned a thing from one game in the past! How the hell did you manage to live through a single game without understanding the bare minimum about at the very least not taking out your frustration on others?! Fine! I'm not going to bother paying respects here if that's what you want!

[Togami scoffs again, looking at her with utmost confidence in himself]

What's more, you're completely and utterly wrong. I'm not 'just another person'. Just like I have done everywhere so far, I will ensure I'm not 'just another person'. I'm going to dismantle this game and get you lot out of here -- even if that has to include spoiled people like you, who'd rather drown in your own self-righteous drivel until the day of your death!

I'm spoiled!? Then tell me, Byakuya. What are you without the name Togami? Who is Byakuya? Because from where I stand, all I see is a spoiled boy clinging to a legacy that means nothing here to anyone except a girl who hates herself so much she reaches for the unattainable! The only self-righteous person here is the one who thinks he's better than everyone. You claim to have lived through much, to have "carved your name since you were a child"--

[ She rolls up her sleeve and tugs down her collar at this, showing off the brutal scars of the past. Scars she hopes he would never have to endure, of torture. It's only a peek, but the scars are pretty bad. ]

--but you know nothing of what suffering actually is, do you!? And I pray you never do, because no one deserves what I have suffered for existing with the wrong hair color according to others! I survived because it's what I do! And what I have done since I was born! And I do it without clinging to a name because I'm nothing without it! At least I don't treat people like the scum on my shoe like you do! I don't know how you survived even your first game with your attitude, given you treat everyone around you horribly--maybe just because no one wanted to actually touch you, that's all I can think of. I'd say you deserve your inevitable loneliness, but I've suffered it too long to wish it on even the worst person. You just discard and discard and discard because the only person you care about is yourself! And the only reason you want to get anyone else out of here is to laud it as an accomplishment of the Great Byakuya Togami, not out of caring for a single other person!

[ He'd hit a nerve. A bad one. That much is obvious. Loneliness, dying alone, being forgotten--fears she has. She's not a good person, she knows that. She won't even touch on the Xander thing. Twenty-one years of anger are spilling out of a broken dam, and Togami just happens to be the unfortunate one who poked the cracks just right to cause it to crumble. ]

There's only room for one person in your world, Byakuya. And that's you.

I'm myself, of course. It doesn't matter what name I have, what matters is what I do. Just like it doesn't matter what you think about my intentions, I'll break this game anyway.

[He turns around]

It truly is a waste of time to talk to someone as delusional as you. Next time you need to blow off some steam, make sure I'm not in the vicinity. You make me sick.

[He starts walking away, regretting having approached the memorial in the first place]

[ She spits after him. ]

...I'll still mourn you if you die, not that you care. Break this game--it's all only for your own ego anyway. That's all it ever is for people like you.

[ She's shaking and angry. She hates him. She doesn't hate often. In some ways, he reminds her of the village chief, including that stupid, smug look he's always wearing. ...No wonder she hates him so much. ]

Good thing I'm not going to die, then!

[Byyyye, Clarith]

[Don't look now, Clarith, but you have an audience.

An audience who is eating M&Ms as she watches you paint.]

...I miss him. I... Remember him a little better now.

[ She'll smile a bit. It's sad. ]

[SHE'S BEEN NOTICed wait no she wasn't actually trying to hide or anything.]

Who is he?

...Takumi.

[ YEAH. ]

...oh.

[Now that she knows, she can recognize the face taking shape. And... feels bad for not having recognized him before.]

If only he were here...

...He'd be yelling, I feel. He was loud when he wanted to be.

[ ...There's a pain in her chest, and although she doesn't know his fate for sure, she wonders if Takumi is dead. ]

He made things quite lively.

...I felt more confident then, when he was present.

[That might not actually be cause and effect, but. He wouldn't be the only person she relied on for support back when she was better at keeping her spirits up.]

...I think we'd all be better with him around. He certainly knew how to keep us going. Nothing's the same now...

[He hadn't necessarily intended to visit the memorial, he just... found himself there, before he even realized it. He notices the new blankets, of course... and then Clarith.]

...Clarith. Good day to you.

Hello, Heart.

[ Not Sir Heart. He doesn't get a title anymore. If he's been paying attention, she really only does that if she cares. ]

...How... Are you faring?

[He does note that and looks at her a little longer as he processes that.]

...I'm not entirely sure. [Which is the most honest answer he can give right now.] As well as I could hope to be right now, maybe. Or maybe it's worse and I'm just too exhausted to notice.

I'll find out eventually, I'm sure.

...At least some of us are here for you. You know, in a way that... We're not falling apart, too.

[ Here. Come sit with her. You seem to need it. ]

...Right.

[Yeah, alright, he'll sit.]

There is always strength in numbers. Emotional strength as well.

Week 4

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Memorial

Oh boy Togami

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I'm so sorry for this

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CW: Very brief abuse, torture mentions; I'M... SO SORRY... THAT TOGAMI IS GETTING THIS...

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Prism

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memorial

Re: memorial

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