won't you take me to flavortown

[theoversaw]

[At the end of that one hour (that seemed so much longer than just one hour could be), hopefully everyone's gathered in the cafeteria. The doors to the other side of the space station open to reveal two figures, a man and a woman. The woman is dressed in sharp business clothes, tapping away on some kind of a device that looks similar to but sleeker than a smart phone. The man with her has a circle beard and bleached blond hair, shorter but thick with muscle, wearing a checked button-up shirt with a gold chain peeking through the collar and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He scratches at his non-dominant forearm (which, nonetheless, is bare).]

Welcome, Champions, to the...

Champion Excellence Program.

Yeah, the Champion Excellence Program. As you may have noticed reading the rules, there's only one way out of here: Rule 7. But just in case going home isn't enough for you, we've decided to add an extra incentive.

[The woman barely looks up from her phone, like she's doing a headcount of the Champions.] The Champion who successfully proves their Excellence by murdering a fellow Champion and escaping punishment will receive an all-expenses-paid space cruise to the Vegas Quadrant.

[The man gives his companion a deadpan look and then looks at the Champions.]

Any questions?

Comments

[titularly]

Question: Do we also get money to gamble with or do we have to provide our own?

[in4apounding]

Mister Osomatsu.

[For SHAME sir.]

[titularly]

What? I just wanna know what the full package is! It'd be unfair if they promised a trip to Vegas without providing money to spend, right?

[in4apounding]

Shame on you for even considering it! You wouldn't really kill for a vacation, would you?

[titularly]

[Instead of giving her a proper answer, Osomatsu just gives a shrug with a cheeky looking grin on his face.]

[in4apounding]

...I thought you were a nice person!

[She actually sounds sort of hurt. ...but mostly pissed.]

You- you know what? I take back what I said earlier. You DON'T deserve a cool title.

[titularly]

Aw, come on! I was just kidding!

[Osomatsu gives a small laugh, and waves his hands in front of himself defensively.]

I wouldn't actually kill someone over a trip to Vegas! That'd be, like, extremely shallow, wouldn't it?

[in4apounding]

It would be! And this is NOT funny!

[titularly]

Okay, okay! Calm down, sheesh. I was just trying to lighten the mood a little!

[in4apounding]

...Okay, I guess that's all right, if you're sorry. But it was in VERY POOR TASTE, Mister Osomatsu.

[titularly]

It's not like anyone's actually gonna kill someone here for that kind of reason....

[in4apounding]

I certainly HOPE not. But if anyone tries, I promise I'll stop them.

[theoverseeing]

[While tapping out something on her device:]

Did I stutter when I said "all expenses paid", Waste of Space?

[titularly]

Please don't call me that.

[theoverseeing]

It's your title. [She looks up at him and smiles that not quite right smile.] Why wouldn't I call you by it?

[titularly]

Uh, because it's rude?

[Well she's the one who's running this place and probably made it up for a reason.]

I'm not going around calling you "Creepy Old Bag" am I?

[theoverseeing]

[She stops typing.]

Oh. Look at that. You just hurt all three of my feelings.

[titularly]

Yeah, see how you like i--- wait, three?

[Somehow, it's believable that someone like her would only have three feelings.]