theairlock | won't you take me to flavortown

[At the end of that one hour (that seemed so much longer than just one hour could be), hopefully everyone's gathered in the cafeteria. The doors to the other side of the space station open to reveal two figures, a man and a woman. The woman is dressed in sharp business clothes, tapping away on some kind of a device that looks similar to but sleeker than a smart phone. The man with her has a circle beard and bleached blond hair, shorter but thick with muscle, wearing a checked button-up shirt with a gold chain peeking through the collar and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He scratches at his non-dominant forearm (which, nonetheless, is bare).]

Welcome, Champions, to the...

Champion Excellence Program.

Yeah, the Champion Excellence Program. As you may have noticed reading the rules, there's only one way out of here: Rule 7. But just in case going home isn't enough for you, we've decided to add an extra incentive.

[The woman barely looks up from her phone, like she's doing a headcount of the Champions.] The Champion who successfully proves their Excellence by murdering a fellow Champion and escaping punishment will receive an all-expenses-paid space cruise to the Vegas Quadrant.

[The man gives his companion a deadpan look and then looks at the Champions.]

Any questions?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You don't truly expect us to go along with that, do you? For a price like that?

[A vacation, seriously? Come on.]

Not that there is anything you could offer that would make me even entertain the idea.

They're crazy if they think a stupid trip is going to entice anyone to murder someone.

Completely insane. Honestly.

But I suppose we should be glad they couldn't think of anything better to entice people with.

Yeah. As if allowing the culprit to go home wasn't enough.

...What did they mean by 'escaping punishment'? We're supposed to figure out who did it if a murder actually happens?

Ah... It does sound like that, doesn't it? So then they expect us to act like detectives as well?

I would much rather make sure no one dies in the first place.

How do they expect us to figure things out? Unless they have some kind of DNA-scanning technology or whatever bullshit the cops on tv use.

Good luck with that. Pretty sure some people are desperate to get back home.

Indeed... I've studied many things, but not how to investigate a murder.

Well, I understand that, of course... But I'm sure we can find a different way to achieve that! I'm sure everyone will see reason.