Welcome to the Program

[airlockedmods]

Good Morning, Champions. In the interest of maintaining healthy sleep patterns, a day/night cycle is in effect. Your presence is expected in the cafeteria in exactly one hour.

[The voice comes through not a large speaker, but through the device that's attached to each Champion's arm. Further investigation of the features of the device will reveal a list of profiles, a mini-map, and a list of rules. The hallways are shiny white and silver, with running lights along the floor and lights on the ceiling, and at the junction of the hallways is a sign with a knife and fork icon and an arrow pointing down the hall.

Welcome to the Excellence Program, Champions. Time to get to know your teammates.]

Comments

[photoshooter]

The politically incorrect term for someone from the worst place on the planet.

[playthedamncard]

Is it also a politically incorrect term for being called a Champion Inner Child?

[photoshooter]

Huh? Oh. Iiii don't actually have any idea what that's about. How is anyone supposed to be a champion of that, anyway?

[playthedamncard]

A good question. Maybe you'll be showing us in time. Your information does say you're whiny.

[photoshooter]

Hey!

[He says, whining.]

Well, what does yours say about you, you... [He's already scrolling as he makes his retort, then snorts.] Champion of Denial. What's that supposed to mean, do you have a crush on someone and refuse to tell them?

[playthedamncard]

[SHUT THE HELL YOUR MOUTH Kaiba is not a happy fucking camper about his title. And it shows. Very plainly.] Of course that's not what it means. I happen to have a certain realistic view of my world, one that doesn't have a place for magic and past lives, reincarnation and spirits who think they can dictate what I'm supposed to do.

[photoshooter]

Huh? What do you have against magic, dude? I know like ninety-nine point nine percent of the population doesn't have actual access to it but it's still, like, a pretty undeniable thing.

[playthedamncard]

You're talking to someone who relies on hard science and technology to look toward the future, not hokey magic tricks and shadow games tied to the past.

[photoshooter]

What do tricks and games have to do with anything? The King's magic kept Lucis safe for ages before the Empire screwed everything up.

[playthedamncard]

What even are you talking about?

[photoshooter]

What are you talking about?

[playthedamncard]

I'm talking about prophecies and magical artifacts from thousands of years ago in ancient Egypt.

[photoshooter]

Okay, I don't know what Aegipp is besides probably a place, but I'm talking about the power the Draconian granted the Kings of Lucis to help keep the world safe from the darkness or whatever, which is very real and kind of important?

[playthedamncard]

...You don't know what Egypt is, and I don't know what a Draconian is or who the Kings of Lucis are.

So something's very wrong here.

Where exactly is...Niflheim?

[photoshooter]

...I mean, where isn't it, at this point?

[But he shakes his head and sweeps one hand vaguely through the air.]

It's, you know. Generally north? There's actual Niflheim, which is either desert or frozen solid, and then they've taken over Accordo and Tenebrae, too. ...And Lucis, now. I guess. So pretty much the entire civilized world.

So where's that Aegypt place? In the ruins of Solheim or something?

[playthedamncard]

...None of those countries are familiar to me. It's going to pain me to ask, but what year do you think you're from?

[photoshooter]

What? ...M.E. 756, obviously. You gonna fill me in on what you're getting at?

[playthedamncard]

What the hell kind of calendar system is that? Where are you from?

[photoshooter]

Lucis! Why is this such a big deal? What's wrong with the year? It's just the year, I didn't make it up!

[playthedamncard]

Let me ask one more very simple question. [And that he feels he has to ask it makes his head spin just a little.] Do you live on the planet Earth?

[photoshooter]

[A beat.]

The planet what?

[playthedamncard]

That's what I was afraid of. Somehow you're from another world. [narrowing of eyes. shame he doesn't have his dsod memories yet...] Or some kind of alternate dimension? But that would be a far stretch for just a simulation...

[photoshooter]

...I don't understand anything anymore.

[playthedamncard]

[It's possible these other player characters are in face NPCs mixed into the bunch, but that seems...extremely unlikely.]

The situation did just get exceedingly more complex than it was a moment ago. If this is correct, the kind of power, the technological advancement, the theoretical physics involved...I wouldn't say impossible, but it would be awesome.

[He means awesome in the traditional sense, not in the radical totally tubular sense.]

[photoshooter]

Well... I guess it would be awesome. Like, that it exists. Not awesome for us currently, you know, inside it.

[And he does mean awesome in the radical totally tubular sense.]

You really think things like other worlds and alternate dimensions are real?