Welcome to the Program

[airlockedmods]

Good Morning, Champions. In the interest of maintaining healthy sleep patterns, a day/night cycle is in effect. Your presence is expected in the cafeteria in exactly one hour.

[The voice comes through not a large speaker, but through the device that's attached to each Champion's arm. Further investigation of the features of the device will reveal a list of profiles, a mini-map, and a list of rules. The hallways are shiny white and silver, with running lights along the floor and lights on the ceiling, and at the junction of the hallways is a sign with a knife and fork icon and an arrow pointing down the hall.

Welcome to the Excellence Program, Champions. Time to get to know your teammates.]

Comments

[photoshooter]

Aren't there meteors in space? And stars? And other planets?

[theundertaken]

Well, yeah. But probably not super close to here, or we’d see it. Or be dead. Prrrrrrobably mostly gotta worry about meteors.

[photoshooter]

Always gotta worry about meteors. I saw one once, that thing was massive. Even the Archaean had a hard time holding it up.

[theundertaken]

Even the what now?

[photoshooter]

The Archaean? Titan? Big guy, kinda unfortunate in the face area, god of headaches and earthquakes and stuff?

[theundertaken]

None of that’s ringing a bell, dude, did you literally watch a god fight a meteor in real life?

[photoshooter]

Oh, he wasn't fighting the meteor, he was fighting us. He was just holding the meteor. It's like, his thing.

[theundertaken]

...would it be possible for you to just tell that whole story from the top? We can go sit, I bet there’s space food in the space kitchen.

[photoshooter]

Uh, sure, I don't mind. [Max is definitely not from the Empire.] It's kind of a long story, though, if I'm really going from the top.

[theundertaken]

I mean, wherever you think you need to start to make it make sense? Because basically none of it did.

[photoshooter]

Okay, yeah, I guess I should start from the beginning of our trip, at least.

[He points his thumb down the hall.]

We've got to head to the cafeteria anyway, so I can grab us some food if you save a couple seats? What's your pleasure, dude?

[theundertaken]

I dunno, what do they have? Space food?

[He starts wandering in that direction as he talks, intending to check it out.]

[photoshooter]

[Prompto goes along with him, the most at ease he's been since he got here.]

I dunno, I haven't looked. What does space food even entail?

[theundertaken]

Freeze-dried stuff. I’ve only ever had space ice cream before - every kid within a hundred mile radius of the space center’s had that. They do a lot of field trips out there in grade school. It’s okay: real ice cream is better, but it’s kinda crunchy and neat.

[Let’s check out the cabinets! Oh, it’s just all packets of stuff.]

[photoshooter]

[Most of that goes right over Prompto's head, but he nods anyway. He understands part of it, at least.]

Well, if it's freeze-dried, I guess I don't really have to worry about my depressing cooking levels. Haha...

[He takes a packet down and examines it curiously, then looks up, struck by a thought.]

Oh, man, I wonder if they have Cup Noodle here.

[theundertaken]

Probably? That seems like you could take it into space just fine. Not sure what their stance on boiling water is, but this place actually has a stove and all, so.

[He fishes through some things himself.] ...dehydrated cupcake batter?

[photoshooter]

...Ew.

[Space travel was a mistake.]

[theundertaken]

..........I’m doing it.

[He gets a bowl and pours the dehydrated batter into it.]

[photoshooter]

[With only slightly exaggerated dismay, Prompto puts a hand on his arm.]

Dude, no. Don't you have anything to live for?

[theundertaken]

I live for adventure.

[he said to the guy who fought a meteor god WATER IN THE BOWL]

[photoshooter]

Blaaauuugh!

[Prompto darts around Max to hide on the other side of him from the horrible concoction. In a low voice, he intones:]

Science... has gone too far. [And then, more normal, but still playfully wheedling:] Come on, man, it's not too late to turn back. You don't have to do this.

[theundertaken]

Nope, already thickening. It'll be a bitch to wash out of the bowl if we don't do something with most of it.

[.....he takes a second to consider that this is what he's choosing to do immediately after being kidnapped, and then sticks the spoon in his mouth.]

.....huh.

[photoshooter]

[Softly:] No.

[He turns away and covers his eyes dramatically.]

I can't watch.

[theundertaken]

.....I mean, it's chocolate. So that's fine. But, uh...

[Hm.]

Texture's kinda weird.

[photoshooter]

[He gestures blindly in the general direction of the bowl.]

Yeah, because you're eating rehydrated, unbaked cake batter out of a bowl. Did you even stir it? Gross, dude. So gross.