Welcome to the Program

[airlockedmods]

Good Morning, Champions. In the interest of maintaining healthy sleep patterns, a day/night cycle is in effect. Your presence is expected in the cafeteria in exactly one hour.

[The voice comes through not a large speaker, but through the device that's attached to each Champion's arm. Further investigation of the features of the device will reveal a list of profiles, a mini-map, and a list of rules. The hallways are shiny white and silver, with running lights along the floor and lights on the ceiling, and at the junction of the hallways is a sign with a knife and fork icon and an arrow pointing down the hall.

Welcome to the Excellence Program, Champions. Time to get to know your teammates.]

Comments

[newcycle]

No-- it's okay. I kind of want to freak out too, but that doesn't help anything.

[besides, she's the avatar.]

So... Chan...it's either friendly or rude.

So which are you trying to be, huh?

[she thinks she gets it-- but don't expect her to start using honorifics any time soon.]

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

I'd rather have friends than enemies right now, so I'm gonna say friendly! Plus ya seem pretty cool so far Korra-chan! Not claiming that I'm the most polite person around though. I swear waaaaay to much ta be anything but at least a lil' rude at all times.~

[newcycle]

Well, it's not like I can't deal with that.

[or isn't a little rude herself sometimes, honestly.]

But, one more question...

What's a zombie?

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

Eh? You're pulling my leg, right? Zombies. Y'know, the living dead?

[newcycle]

T-The living dead?!

[she stares at her, and then really leans in close, trying to figure out if she can see it.]

But...

[this is the girl who has been reincarnated for over 10,000 years. this is mysterious to her]

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

What? Do I need ta pull an hand off ta prove it? 'Cause I can.

[Already happened earlier with Osomatsu, so fuck it, she may have just gotten the thing back on, but eh, what's the point of being an zombie if you can't impress others with it?]

[newcycle]

What-- no! No.

[a pause.]

... No. I've already seen a spirit that can do that, I'm good.

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

Eh, a spirit? Like a ghost?

[Okay that's super neat.]

[newcycle]

No, an actual spirit.

He thought he was being funny.

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

I don't really get the difference, but eh, whatever ya wanna call 'em I guess.

[Pause.]

Honestly I'd totally do the same thing. It's totally hilarious to watch people loose their shit at an limb falling off, especially if you're like shaking their hand or something. Comedy gold I'm telling ya!

[newcycle]

I can explain the difference, if you want.

[she seems a little amused at that? But she feels like she has to, especially for Raava's sake.]

And I get the feeling, you do that a lot.

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

Go for it. Explain away Korra-chan.

[Zombina grins with zero shame.]

Yuuuup. Works pretty much every time too!

[newcycle]

Okay, the basic difference is: ghosts are dead people. Spirits are their own thing.

And you're just like that spirit I met.

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

Oh. Okay. That's a waaaaaaaaaaaay simpler explanation than I was thinkin' I would get.

I'd totally like to go out on the town with that spirit sometime then. It'd be a total riot!

[newcycle]

That's what I do, bridge the gap between the spirits and uh-- well. You're not exactly living, I guess?

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

Eh, it can probs be argued either way. Living dead and all, y'know. I mean, I'm clinically dead, but I've still enough brain activity to move around and keep on existing.

[newcycle]

How though?

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

Ya want the long complicated sciencey answer or a short one?

[newcycle]

Uh... whichever's easier to understand?

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

Riiiight, long answer it is then. I'll just cover everything ya need to know about my kind, okay? Okay!

[ Exposition goooooooo!]

Okay so while Zombies do count as a liminal race or extra-species race or whatever ya wanna call 'em, we're more of an condition.

If I were ta bite ya or prick ya with a tooth of mine then ya'd turn into a zombie.... but only if you were already close to death that is. If you're in good health and not knocking on death's door, then my bite can't do shit 'cause the immune system can fight the virus off.

Otherwise, you're officially an super awesome zombie! There's a lotta downsides to your new pretty much immortality though. Like that ya pretty much can't feel any pain. I mean you still have pleasure, but if you're as torn up as me, then a little pain to let you know 'Hey Zombina, you're fucking hand's fallen off again!' might be convenient.

You don't heal either, so if you get any tears or injuries then ya either gotta sew it back up or get another part entirely. So if ya don't take good care of yourself, you'll end up looking like me! But as long as enough of your brain is still intact, then you can survive some serious bullshit.

[She gestures to her... everything.]

There's also rigor mortis. It'll happen if ya stay still too long. This makes sleep an huge pain in the ass though, 'cause if ya forget to do stretches before sleeping, then you'll be totally immobilized in the morning until someone massages ya.

[Zombina is speaking from experience there.]

And Blood, yeah, Y'aint really got that shit anymore. Thanks to science, modern Zombies get preservative fluids made to be as blood like as possible but are toxic as hell to everyone who's not a zombie. Ya need ta get it replaced every three weeks or you'll start to rot and shit.

You'll still be functional-well until you're not- but if ya don't get more, then your brain will rot and you'll be like the Early Zombies from before preservative technology and shit. I mean, you'll still be going, but all the Early zombies' who's brains' aren't entirely still there are at the level of being in the state of a dude who just woke up from sleep.

If they don't wanna rot anymore then they gotta stay inside a refrigerated room most of the the time and can only go out in the winter! A totally shitty and boring life in my opinion.

Sooo that's pretty much everything ya need to know about zombies Korra-chan!

[newcycle]

[ok, so, she's. a little more freaked out now. What the heck, Zombina. She has so many questions, and she doesn't know where to start?]

Uh-- that's. A lot? To take in.

So... you're almost dead? Or you almost died?

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

I guess? I'm sorta both. The Living Dead.

[She's kinda blatantly violating the divide between life and death on a 24 hour basis like it's the most casual thing ever.]