Welcome to the Program

[airlockedmods]

Good Morning, Champions. In the interest of maintaining healthy sleep patterns, a day/night cycle is in effect. Your presence is expected in the cafeteria in exactly one hour.

[The voice comes through not a large speaker, but through the device that's attached to each Champion's arm. Further investigation of the features of the device will reveal a list of profiles, a mini-map, and a list of rules. The hallways are shiny white and silver, with running lights along the floor and lights on the ceiling, and at the junction of the hallways is a sign with a knife and fork icon and an arrow pointing down the hall.

Welcome to the Excellence Program, Champions. Time to get to know your teammates.]

Comments

Hallways

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

Alright I ain't got a fucking clue what half the shit you said means, but I can get behind figuring out who the fuck took your hat because I'd really like my guns back!

[Excuse her as she yells at the ceiling too.]

OI! My guns better not be damaged! Those babies are expensive as fuck ya know! If I see a single scratch on any of 'em then your face is meeting my fist!

[Provided they're not human, but eh, she'll deal with that when she gets there.]

[lovecolored]

[ oh she likes you already ]

Yeah!

[ She...actually is only vaguely familiar with guns, but she knows they're weapons and she can share this outrage at her own weapon being taken. ]

...dammit, they're not gonna answer us, are they? They gotta be hidin' somewhere.

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

Nah. They probably are gonna ignore us 'till we all gather in the cafeteria in an hour.

[Zombina grins though.]

Doesn't mean that we can't trash the place or make ourselves huge annoyances until then!

[VIVA LA RESISTANCE! OR SOMESHIT!]

Seriously though, if I see a scratch on any of my 11 babies, then there's gonna be serious trouble. I'll consider letting ya have first shot though. Hat thievery is serious business.

[She's a considerate zombie like that.]

[lovecolored]

[ Marisa opens her mouth to give another hearty agreement, but then stops, and fiddles with her PIP. ]

There's some kinda rule against property damage, though...what's it say...? "Any Champion caught tampering with, obscuring, damaging, or otherwise trying to "improve" or "modify" any surveillance camera, door, lock, wall, floor, ceiling, computer, air vent, or other structure or machinery will be subject to punishment."

...man, I don't wanna end up with my fingernails ripped off just for writin' 'you suck' or 'filthy hat thief' on the walls. But it's temptin'.

[ she sighs ]

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

Damn.

[Boo.]

Guess we could do it on paper and then tape them on the walls. But that's way less fun. It really takes the thrill out of it since the point of messing things up is for it to be hard to fix!

[There goes her fun.]

I don't suppose that we could claim that we're decorating or someshit?

[lovecolored]

Oh, that might work. If it can be taken down, though, they got no reason to take it down. It's a decoration. We're just expressin' ourselves, right...?

[ a pause ]

Uh, what's your name?

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

Right! They can't deny us artistic freedom!

[Zombina grins and points at her self with an thumb.]

Zombina-chan, the worlds liveliest corpse, at your service! And you're name is?

[lovecolored]

Alice Margatroid, puppeteer extraordinaire.

[ aaaaaaaand thus it begins ]

Nice to meetcha. You're a real zombie? Like, climbed out from a grave?

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

Real 100% genuine zombie right here in the flesh~!, never been in a grave though. It's probably hella boring though.

So ya do puppets Margatroid-chan?

[lovecolored]

All day. Every day. I practically never leave my cottage. And when I do, it's to buy shady potions from alien doctors.

[ somewhere out in the multiverse, alice sneezes. ]

Woah, neat. I've heard about 'em before but I don't think I've ever met one in person...

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

Alien doctors eh? I don't suppose if we contact 'em then they could break us outta here?

[That's easier said than done though.]

Well now ya have, so that's one thing ta cross off the bucket list, eh?

[lovecolored]

Mmm, maybe if her family gets put in danger...they're pretty lowkey for aliens, actually.

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

Ah, yeah. Guess they don't go around abducting cows or anything? I'm kinda disappointed.

[lovecolored]

Nah, those ones mostly wanna be left alone, ze. They live in the middle of a huge forest and peddle their medicine wares, stuff like that.

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

Huh. Guess even aliens gotta make their money somehow. I woulda thought they'd be selling technology or like laser guns or something.

[PAUSE.]

....If they got laser guns, ya gotta do me a favor and introduce me sometime. I want one.

[lovecolored]

[ Marisa opens her mouth to respond, but then shuts it and is quiet for a moment. ]

Y'know, that makes me think. The Lunarians've got their own army, they were in a big war...they must have guns, right? One'a them, she attacks using bullets--like, bullet bullets, not the ones the rest of us use, like how I use star-shaped bullets--but I've never seen her handlin' a gun.

[ WHERE IS REISEN'S GUN COLLECTION, A MYSTERY FOR THE AGES ]

If I ever riddle that out, I'll letcha know.

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

What else kinda bullets could she use? I mean there's different caliburs and stuff, but generally ya need an gun ta shoot bullets. Unless ya got super strength and can just throw them or something, I guess.

[lovecolored]

I don't use gun-bullets. Most of us don't. She's the weird one.

[ Marisa spawns a few star-shaped bullets in her hands, letting them drift forward. See? ]

They're magic, I guess? Though even if you're not a magician like me, you can use these, back home, so it's a really basic kinda magic.

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

Wha-!

[Zombina jolts back in suprise and then just STARES. Today has been a weird day.]

........... I'm starting ta get the feeling some of us might not be from the same places... or maybe even worlds. 'Cause i'm pretty damn sure that magic is not a thing where I'm from.

[lovecolored]

That's the assumption I was workin' on. Lookit some of the "hometowns" on the profiles. I don't recognize half of 'em.

[ The stars float lazily around. Eventually, when they hit something solid, they disappear.

...if she touches one she will find out that they're made of konpeito, tho. ]

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

I haven't looked those yet, lemme check.

[Scrolling, scorlling, waaaait a sec. The fuck???]

.....Thaaaat wasn't yer real name ya told me, was it? The profile lists ya differently.

[lovecolored]

Oh gee, it wasn't? [ har har har ] It'd appear I mixed up myself and my dear friend Alice...

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

Mhm, tooooootally understandable mistake ta make... Kirisame-chan. So do ya really know aliens or were they made up?

[Plz be real Plz be real plz be real.]

[lovecolored]

They're real.

[ luckily! ]

Though they're less 'little green men with big bug eyes' and more 'look all but human until they open their big fat mouths and start yappin' about the impurity of Earth.'

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

Woah. That sounds kinda annoying. They do that all the time oooooor...?