Welcome to the Program

[airlockedmods]

Good Morning, Champions. In the interest of maintaining healthy sleep patterns, a day/night cycle is in effect. Your presence is expected in the cafeteria in exactly one hour.

[The voice comes through not a large speaker, but through the device that's attached to each Champion's arm. Further investigation of the features of the device will reveal a list of profiles, a mini-map, and a list of rules. The hallways are shiny white and silver, with running lights along the floor and lights on the ceiling, and at the junction of the hallways is a sign with a knife and fork icon and an arrow pointing down the hall.

Welcome to the Excellence Program, Champions. Time to get to know your teammates.]

Comments

[lmafo]

Not for like, crimes! Not real ones that I did, anyway. The Batterwitch just captured me and I didn't get a chance to ask why before I woke up here.

[stillstands]

...

[It's like you're speaking in tongues, Roxy.]

The... Batterwitch? [Like... okonomiyaki batter? Pancake batter??

okay. but... okay. Focus.]

So, we come to you for tips and experienced advice on kidnapping and how to deal with it.

[lmafo]

Yeah, the Battterwitch. If you don't know her, that's for the best.

[ She shrugs. ]

My best advice is don't let em fuckin get to you, but yeah sure if you need specifics.

[stillstands]

I'll keep that in mind then.

[Still. Batterwitch. Maybe it's like in baseball...?]

It'd be nice if it was that easy. It's unnerving, even if I'm trying not to think about it.

[lmafo]

Then lemme just say there is way weirder shit that can happen to you.

[ like homestuck, for example ]

Not worryin about shit actually takes practice, girl, so no worries. Er. You know what I mean. Just do your best!

[stillstands]

[This is one of the weirder pep-talks she's received since she got here, honestly.]

I've had a fair bit of practice worrying. [Hffffff.]

... It's Lalonde-san, isn't it?

[lmafo]

[ welcome to roxy lalonde, miki ]

Roxy's what I usually tell people to call me, but if you wanna use the last name I won't stop you.

[stillstands]

[She can roll with it.]

... [It's a little unconventional, but if her first name is her preferred one then:]

Roxy-san. [A compromise.] It's nice to meet you.

[lmafo]

There we go, that's better. Nice to meetcha, girl. Or, uh... Miki, yeah?

[stillstands]

[That got informal quickly. But, uh... it kinda fits with what she's seen of Roxy, to be honest.]

Miki is fine, yeah.

[lmafo]

Sweet. So yeah, just... track me down anytime if you have questions about kidnapping or where all the fuckin pieces of heart are in old Zelda games or if you just wanna talk about how cute cats are, I'm here for ya.

[stillstands]

[Is old school gaming knowledge going to come in handy here?]

You like cats?

[THIS IS A SAFE, AND NOT-SPACE, KIDNAPPING BASED CONVERSATION. Let's go with this.]

[lmafo]

[ I mean who says it won't? ]

Hell yeah, cats are the best! Used to have one on my shirt until I went all voidy. I cloned them all the time back home.

[stillstands]

[First murder case, and the body parts are hidden where the old school Zelda heart pieces are and Miki just stares at Roxy for all of the trial. Callin' it.]

-- [ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHERS.] You cloned them--?!

[lmafo]

Oh yeah. [ ... ] I'm from the future and I do science stuff, it's a thing.

[stillstands]

[... ...

This is not how she expected this day to go at all.]

Science fiction talks about cloning being common place in the future, but I hearing it actually does exist there is a little weird.

[lmafo]

I mean to be fair I'm the only one who really does it.

[ I mean.

It's not a lie, when you're one of the last two people in the world, you know? ]

[stillstands]

[That?? Is even more impressive??]

Really?

You must be a very gifted scientist to be cloning things so young. [She... looks older than Miki does, for sure. But not by much. Hang on, she's definitely looking up your age on her PIP now, Roxy.]