Welcome to the Program

[airlockedmods]

Good Morning, Champions. In the interest of maintaining healthy sleep patterns, a day/night cycle is in effect. Your presence is expected in the cafeteria in exactly one hour.

[The voice comes through not a large speaker, but through the device that's attached to each Champion's arm. Further investigation of the features of the device will reveal a list of profiles, a mini-map, and a list of rules. The hallways are shiny white and silver, with running lights along the floor and lights on the ceiling, and at the junction of the hallways is a sign with a knife and fork icon and an arrow pointing down the hall.

Welcome to the Excellence Program, Champions. Time to get to know your teammates.]

Comments

[titularly]

Duh. We're in space!

[Osomatsu says this.. scarily casually, and he goes back to pressing his own face against the glass.]

Don't'cha see the stars everywhere? We're totally Sci-Fi!

[photoshooter]

[Osomatsu's nonchalance only makes Prompto's freaking out worse.]

Sci-fi doesn't happen to real people, dude!

[titularly]

Oh really, wise guy? Then are you gonna tell me that's not actually space out there? Huh?

[THERE'S NO WAY YOU CAN BREAK HIS SPIRIT]

[photoshooter]

[Points out the window.]

I! Don't have an explanation for that! It's very weird and impossible!

[titularly]

Why? People go to space all the time, why can't we?

[photoshooter]

What? How, since when? You've been to space?

[titularly]

I haven't!

[..well actually he has in a gag once but that doesn't count]

But y'know.. NASA! The man on the moon! That kinda stuff!

[photoshooter]

...

I have absolutely no clue what you're talking about.

[titularly]

Eeehhhhh?

[Osomatsu sounds... disappointed, almost.]

But, like, everyone knows about that stuff! You really don't?

[photoshooter]

I've never even heard of a nassa. Is it some kind of special meteorite?

[titularly]

It's a space program!

[The NEET looks at this man like he's grown a second head, and he shakes his own with a little "tsk, tsk"]

They flew Lance Armstrong to the moon!

[..it's.. niel armstrong.. but okay]

[photoshooter]

[Don't 'tsk, tsk' him! Rude.]

Trying to explain by saying a bunch of things I don't understand just makes it more confusing, bro!

[He crosses his arms.]

I've never heard of anyone going to the moon. The moon's pretty far away, you know?

[titularly]

Well yeah, that's why rockets were invented!

[Where does this guy live if he doesn't at least know that??]

You're not very smart, are you?

[photoshooter]

Excuse me? I'm plenty smart!

[Granted, he is the least smart person in the FFXV party and possibly the entire game, but, like. Details!]

Rockets are fine for airships and speeders but I think even the Imperials haven't tried taking them into space!

[titularly]

Imperials?

[That gets Osomatsu to raise one of his eyebrows, and he squints at him for a second before giving off a small laugh.]

Oh, I get it! You're doing a bit!

[photoshooter]

I... what? A bit of what?

[Ohhh boy.]

[titularly]

...a bit? A joke? A comedy sketch?

[you are a pure boy, arent you]

[photoshooter]

[He is, but also too soon, Oso. Too soon.]

Dude, no. I wouldn't joke about this. Not after everything they've done.

[titularly]

.....what?

[You're losing him, Prompto.]

[photoshooter]

Niflheim! They've ruined, like, everything! And killed a lot of people! Good people! Just two days ago they helped destroy the most beautiful city I'd ever seen, just for... for power!

[titularly]

....this is a DnD thing, right? You're LARPing right now... right?

[photoshooter]

You keep saying words that aren't words!