Welcome to the Program

[airlockedmods]

Good Morning, Champions. In the interest of maintaining healthy sleep patterns, a day/night cycle is in effect. Your presence is expected in the cafeteria in exactly one hour.

[The voice comes through not a large speaker, but through the device that's attached to each Champion's arm. Further investigation of the features of the device will reveal a list of profiles, a mini-map, and a list of rules. The hallways are shiny white and silver, with running lights along the floor and lights on the ceiling, and at the junction of the hallways is a sign with a knife and fork icon and an arrow pointing down the hall.

Welcome to the Excellence Program, Champions. Time to get to know your teammates.]

Comments

[titularly]

Why not?

[it's practically his job]

It could be a set up for a pretty funny joke.

[karappo]

[Gee, wonder how low on the bar that places the matsus then, who have never done a single worthwhile thing in their entire lives.]

Well we cannot have that, can we? And you and I are prime examples of people who will never be that, right?

[karappo]

[It's fine he'll just have to die on the inside.]

Not at the moment, no...but I do enjoy fashion with a bit of sparkle.

[He is being called the fuck out, Lucina.]

But I am not sure I would necessarily call it a bad thing...

[keepmeinyourheart]

[Look, at least her world doesn't share the name with a chapstick egg.]

... As do I. My disappearance will not be taken lightly, and I fear for how it will affect things...

eyes emoji

[unhappylittletrees]

[Like any good college student, Jamie is drawn by the allure of fresh brewed coffee. Or even stale coffee, he's not picky.]

That smells completely amazing right now.

[karappo]

Heh. You are absolutely right, Osomatsu!

[No.]

So that means you and I are the stars of this skit. And that also means we are going to just have to show them how well we can work together to make it work in our favor, non?

[keepmeinyourheart]

A car. We do not have anything that can traverse the realm of space on Eos.

[titularly]

Because! They always make it seem so scary and cool, so I wanna see if it's real!

[welcome to osomatsu]

Aren't you curious about it?

[karappo]

How utterly disgraceful! At least they could have the decency to show themselves.

[Cowards? Are they just cowards??]

[titularly]

I wonder what kinda food they got in the cafeteria? Gourmet?

[Aaand he's ignoring Karamatsu. As it should be.]

[theundertaken]

Well shit, man, you can't just say something like that and not tell the story!

[theundertaken]

Huh. Never heard of Eos.

[Fucking weird but okay]

We've got space shuttles where I'm from, but it's not really something just anybody can go near. And I was just in bed.

[theundertaken]

Yeah, whoever put those together has it in for some of us. Mine seems mostly okay, except I don't really have a job right now.

[What...does he do with these eggs...

...get cheese, obviously]

They gave you a shitty championship.

[karappo]

[It's even worse when you've been publicly called out and are trying to own it instead of admit to how much of a terrible person you are. So it's probably not in Karamatsu's favor when he stands up straight and puts on a smile for Thomas when he turns, tucking his wrist quickly behind the other as he folds his arms over his chest. No need to touch on that elephant in the room right now.]

Quite alright, my friend! I am just marveling at...at ah...

[He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, and then it comes to him.]

How clean this floor is! One can almost see their reflection in it!

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

I- yeah. Yeah. Sorry for yelling like that.

[Settle down Bina-chan.]

I mean... I'm a zombie, we're in fucking outerspace, there's everything that rule 7 is, and the language thing is the thing to freak me out? That was super lame of me, sorry.

But uh, back to the -Chan thing, it's an honorific. 'S like rude and stuff if you're not close to the people to not use 'em. So like, I'd be Zombina-chan, or Zombina-san if ya wanted to be a lil' more formal I guess, but not really by much?? -Chan's just more friendly, though for for boys i'd suggest sticking to -kun. Like uh...

[Loooooooking through the profilesssss.... okay she'll use that Kurusu Akira kid for the example.]

Kurusu-kun. Though once again, -san works if ya don't wanna be that friendly right away. I'm uh, probs not the best person to explain this shit, but hey, I'm trying.

[karappo]

Ah-

[Karamatsu clears his throat, trying to reenter the conversation.]

I already looked. It is astronaut food.

[theundertaken]

...I mean, maybe? [if you're into that?] But we're literally here for real right now.

[unhappylittletrees]

Maybe not my Bachelor's degree but what about a Masters's?

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

If you're gonna try and be stealthy then ya should go the whole way or not bother. S'more fun to charge in guns blazing in my opinion!... Then again, the undead don't usually gotta be as careful as you'd have to be~!

[Zombina laughs and puts her arms behind her neck giving a carefree grin.]

'S be a pretty good idea if they weren't probably watching us. I mean, how else would they know when we're all in the cafeteria?

[titularly]

Astronaut food?

[Do you see the disappointment on his face, Karamatsu.]

So like... meat bars and crap?

[andjerry]

I've seen some teenagers, but... [and it clearly troubles him that he realizes there are kids here]

So what do we do, since none of us know why we're here?

[titularly]

Doesn't mean we can't joke around.

[Osomatsu says that with a pout, obviously not taking this seriously At All.]

So why d'you think we're in space all of a sudden?

[newcycle]

[that... that's true.

rip.]

What... was happening back home for you?

[theworldsliveliestcorpse]

[HAND INCOMING. Thankfully this is easy peasy for Zombina to catch with her still attached hand.]

Oi watch where you're throwing that! I'm gonna need to sew the damn thing back on myself later! Geez, way to treat a gal!

[Any anger rapidly dissipates again at the reaction. Oh man.]

We're in f-hahah-fucking space-Haha a-and the shocking thing-Ghahah- here is that I'm a zombie?! Pffthahah~!

[karappo]

[Karamatsu nods, rubbing his chin.]

Freeze-dried foods, MREs, powered things that reconstitute in water...things like that. Nothing fresh, that is for certain.