Beep Beep we're going to Sparby's

[airlockedmods]

Once everyone's in the dick limo and they've watched the Fantasy Sweet burn down behind them (dodging the flaming debris once the pressure builds up enough inside to make the whole thing go nuclear), it's off to the nearest fast food planet.

Which...is about five lightdays away.

Luckily for you, you have your very own Personal Artistic License to keep you entertained. So PAL bounces around the back of the limo, sitting in every lap that will have him, as he tells the story of Kip from the day he hatched as a tiny, impressionable smeet to present.

Sparing absolutely no detail.

Especially about the part where Kip failed his navigator's exam because he stopped at Then-Foodcourtia and crashed the ship into one of the greasy pustules that had sprouted on the planet's surface, destroying the aircraft and boiling his instructor alive in the fiery grease of hell.

So now there's a dick limo parked in the Sparby's parking lot. For anyone who had Arby's or Arby's-adjacent restaurants on their home planet... The menu's not much different. Everything meat-based is 100% beef, the milkshakes look delicious, and of course there are turnovers (apple, cherry, and chocolate).

Which... well, catch Kip and PAL in the corner shoving milkshakes and turnovers in their faces tbh.]

Welcome to Sparby's, Survivors.
You earned it.

Comments

[unhappylittletrees]

You try clothes shopping while trying to avoid fans and a television network out for your blood.

[misanthropicprinciple]

[Junpei looks Jamie up and down, glances aside to see if anyone in the Sparby's is even watching anymore (they're not; it's just another Sunday), and then reaches into his vest pocket to do something, and--

--is abruptly Kaneda from Akira???]

Sure.

[unhappylittletrees]

[]

Correction: try clothes shopping while avoiding fans and an evil network without cheating with hardlight.

[misanthropicprinciple]

Why intentionally make boring chores harder for myself? Lame.

[unhappylittletrees]

...Okay fair. Totally fair. [S i g h.] If any of us could afford a hardlight we'd absolutely be using it to look like fictional characters.

[misanthropicprinciple]

[Kaneda goes back to being Junpei, because he has a girlfriend who likes this face better for whatever reason. Junpei sure doesn't understand.]

Yeah? Who would you pick? Oh, shit, we've got a whole new cast of characters to give code names to. Church!

[CHURCH, BROSEPH, WE GOTTA TAP THE JUSTICE LEAGUE NOW.]

[motherfucking_ghost]

WHAT, hello, sup, what do you need, Parker? Are we nicknaming these fuckheads? Dooooo we know anything about them?

[misanthropicprinciple]

Not a damn thing. I'll take some notes.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Okay so we learn a little tiny bit about them. And also? We should totally get drunk before we do naming. That worked really well last time.

[misanthropicprinciple]

You're so right. Whiskey or Jell-O shots this time?

[motherfucking_ghost]

Whiskey jello shots?

[misanthropicprinciple]

This is why we're best friends.

[unhappylittletrees]

[his shenanigan senses are tingling for the first time in a very long time]

Uhhhh...promise not to laugh?

[scourgingstars]

He's not capable of that, don't let him tell you he is.

[unhappylittletrees]

[at least he's honest]

[misanthropicprinciple]

I can warn for my winning personality just fine without your help, Dad.

[misanthropicprinciple]

I don't make promises like that. I'm an honest asshole. But if it helps, that big nerd over there chose Iron Man for himself, unprompted.

[unhappylittletrees]

If we're not stuck picking from comic book characters...

Totoro. I'd want to be Totoro.

[misanthropicprinciple]

Ohhhhhhh my god.

[THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO HIM IN AN ARBY'S.]

Totoro it is! Welcome to the Avengers, Tonari-san, you have officially just bought all eleven ounces of the trust and goodwill I have left for you and yours.

[ratherdoweddings]

It is pretty cute!

[unhappylittletrees]

That is the best thing anyone has ever said to me in an Arby's.

[Junpei, you don't even know his real name and already they are going to become good, good friends.]

[cyan_maid]

[BLESS HER BIG BRO]