Beep Beep we're going to Sparby's

[airlockedmods]

Once everyone's in the dick limo and they've watched the Fantasy Sweet burn down behind them (dodging the flaming debris once the pressure builds up enough inside to make the whole thing go nuclear), it's off to the nearest fast food planet.

Which...is about five lightdays away.

Luckily for you, you have your very own Personal Artistic License to keep you entertained. So PAL bounces around the back of the limo, sitting in every lap that will have him, as he tells the story of Kip from the day he hatched as a tiny, impressionable smeet to present.

Sparing absolutely no detail.

Especially about the part where Kip failed his navigator's exam because he stopped at Then-Foodcourtia and crashed the ship into one of the greasy pustules that had sprouted on the planet's surface, destroying the aircraft and boiling his instructor alive in the fiery grease of hell.

So now there's a dick limo parked in the Sparby's parking lot. For anyone who had Arby's or Arby's-adjacent restaurants on their home planet... The menu's not much different. Everything meat-based is 100% beef, the milkshakes look delicious, and of course there are turnovers (apple, cherry, and chocolate).

Which... well, catch Kip and PAL in the corner shoving milkshakes and turnovers in their faces tbh.]

Welcome to Sparby's, Survivors.
You earned it.

Comments

[ratherdoweddings]

All the product placement your show did sort of made us hungry for Sparby's.

[myocordial]

[He chuckles, because... okay.]

Well. It makes things significantly easier for us all, doesn't it? I suppose fortune is smiling upon us.

[ratherdoweddings]

I really hope so! We don't have much, but we're doing our best.

[myocordial]

That is all anyone can do, isn't it? Well then. I'm not sure an introduction is necessary, but even so... My name is Heart. Ah, Champion of Compassion, I suppose, if we're still using those titles.

[Feels weird using it, but oh well.]

It's good to meet you.

[ratherdoweddings]

The titles are a little weird, aren't they? But at least you got a nice one! One of our friends was a Champion of Counterfeits. I thought for weeks that that meant she was a bootlegger.

[myocordial]

Ah, I suppose compared to some it's not so bad, even if I'm not sure it's what I would have chosen for myself.

...Counterfeits, though... Really?

[ratherdoweddings]

Your round had some weird titles, though, too, right?

[shikosuki]

[ this face

just this face ]

[stitch_in_time]

That's still a hell of a coincidence.

[He'd be more worried if he could think of a way the studio could've possibly engineered this.]

[myocordial]

Indeed it is. Though hardly the first ridiculous coincidence I've encountered in my life.

I think right now... it's probably best we simply count our blessings.

[stitch_in_time]

I've lived nine-hundred years and I'm still not sure I believe in coincidence.

Still, better not to be more paranoid than necessary.

[The words "Bad Wolf" don't appear anywhere on the menu, at least.]

[myocordial]

Hm. Being on guard is important, but for right now... I think I'll just accept this, unless we're given a reason not to.

[...That said...]

...Nine-hundred years, really?

[stitch_in_time]

If we'd been following any kind of trail, I might believe it was a trap. So far this is just weird.

And yeah, really.

[He gives a small, fingery wave.]

Hello, I'm the Doctor.

[That's explanation enough, right.]

[myocordial]

Weird has started to become the norm.

[...No that explained absolutely nothing and now you've got a robot just kinda staring at you, Doctor.]

...Ah. I... see? [No really was that supposed to make things clearer.] ...Heart.

[stitch_in_time]

[No, it definitely explained everything, please keep up.]

Not everyone that looks human has a human lifespan, Heart.

[myocordial]

Well, that much I'm aware of, considering I'm not human myself. It's still rather impressive...

So what precisely are you, then?

[stitch_in_time]

A devestatingly intelligent traveller with a talent for finding trouble.

[A smartass.]

...Time Lord. That's what my people were called. The Time Lords.

[myocordial]

Currently I don't have any trouble believing the trouble part.

But that's... quite the name. [...] ...Were?

[Past tense?]

[stitch_in_time]

When you're the first species to in the universe to master time travel, it tends to go to your head.

[What is irony, can you eat it.]

...and yeah, were. Past tense.

[myocordial]

I suppose it's at least an impressive thing to boast about. Though even then it seems awfully dramatic.

[Boy he's glad his involvement with time travel has been limited and he sure wasn't involved with it in a movie that definitely never happened.]

...I see. I'm very sorry.

[scourgingstars]

[HEART YOU HAVE LIVED WITH A 2000 YEAR OLD ELDRITCH HORROR FOR WEEKS]

[myocordial]

[yeah but you're special and you still started out human you don't count]

[scourgingstars]

[okay sure why not????]