THE FIFTH INVESTIGATION

[airlockedmods]

[As usual, the day begins at seven a.m.

Good morning, Champions.]

Comments

[daughterofthemark]

Do you have one in my size?

[Is... she joking? She's joking, right?

Random Pigeon Citizen thinks she's probably joking.]

[misanthropicprinciple]

[Junpei considers this, then very, very seriously, tries to balance one of the cylinders vertically on her head.]

[daughterofthemark]

[Arianna holds very, very still.]

[misanthropicprinciple]

[It still falls. Alas.]

No, looks like I'd need at least, like. Three more playing cards to make one big enough for you. You'll have to wait another day to realize your dreams of metamorphosing into a messenger pigeon, Arianna. My bad.

[daughterofthemark]

Oh...

[she's... actually disappointed?]

I shall have to rely on the pigeons after all.

[misanthropicprinciple]

Were you serious about wanting to be some kind of runner? Because the whole point of this is to make things a little more convenient for everyone, including you.

[daughterofthemark]

I... no, I became excited without thinking.

[misanthropicprinciple]

Well, do you want one for your bird instead? You have one, right?

[daughterofthemark]

...I'm afraid I do not.

[They were introduced to her as the reward for winning at bowling and she lost and she hasn't thought to question that premise despite all the other people with pigeon buddies.

(Random Pigeon Citizen is probably supposed to be filling that role.)]

[misanthropicprinciple]

Really? Aw, well, let's find you one, then. Should we hold tryouts for the position?

[He turns to random pigeon citizen.]

You got a résumé on you, buddy?

[daughterofthemark]

I--is this permitted?

[RANDOM PIGEON CITIZEN WHIPS OUT A TINY DOCUMENT no that would just be too ridiculous even for this game. But s/he does flutter on over and land in front of Arianna.]

[misanthropicprinciple]

What? Why not? There's no rules about the pigeons, are there?

[Pigeon labor laws.]

[daughterofthemark]

[We must respect the Pigeon Employment Act of 6941 after all.]

But they were your reward for winning the bowling match...

[misanthropicprinciple]

[...Aw.]

There are way more pigeons than there are members of the King Pins, Arianna. Besides, doesn't this one look like it wants to be your friend?

[daughterofthemark]

[YES IT DOES. IT WANTS TO BE THE ROYAL PIGEON ADVISOR. LOOK AT IT HOPPING UP AND DOWN]

...well, if you believe it would be all right...

[misanthropicprinciple]

Well, look at it this way. To the victor go the spoils, right? And since I was one of the victors, I hereby declare that you, a humble member of the losing team, may, indeed, have a pigeon.

[daughterofthemark]

Well, then!

[Arianna embraces this concept immediately and will never look back.]

It is my great pleasure to meet you, Sir Canaan.

[She's not... entirely sure what corner of her mind she pulled that name from. Probably a lost memory that wasn't listed among the ones she could regain, or something.]

[misanthropicprinciple]

Now, would you like to outfit Sir Canaan with the limited-time offer Junpei special? One message tube, free of charge.

[daughterofthemark]

Of course! He'll be happy to serve.

[She's right, apparently. Sir Canaan coos happily.]

[misanthropicprinciple]

Well then, my good sir, if you please.

[And, gently and carefully, Junpei tricks Sir Canaan out with a sick toob.]

If it comes unrolled, just see me for another one. It's not like materials are at a premium or anything.

[daughterofthemark]

[He is a good bird and now he has POWERS.]

Thank you, Sir Junpei.

[misanthropicprinciple]

You can just call me Junpei, you know. Everyone else does.

[daughterofthemark]

...would you prefer that?

[Aside from politeness and such, she's kind of gotten used to thinking of him as Sir Junpei now.]

[misanthropicprinciple]

I dunno, I've gotten used to it your way. Makes me feel kind of fancy.

[daughterofthemark]

Then "Sir Junpei" you shall remain, and fortunate for you. If you were not so fancy, I could not approve of your relationship with Rii-san.