theairlock | week 6

Entry tags:

!round 2,
!week 6

week 6

[Even with three deaths two weeks in a row, life in the Fantasy Sweet returns to some semblance of normalcy come Sunday morning. The messes are cleaned up, the bodies are safe in the morgue (or in Kip's case, still in a liquor bottle in the garden) and with this new week comes a fresh crop of returning memories.

There is no new floor this week.

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday

[ooc: Don't forget to to turn in your activity for week 5, submit your memory regains and put in your threads for the Benefactors!]

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[Discussion of family was the last thing Ardyn was interested in today, siblings even more so. He almost wanted to turn around and walk right out without a word, but that reaction was pushed back.]

[Why, he didn't really know.]

...Were you close?

[ There's still... spots in her memories. Holes. It's not so easy to piece together the scraps of something when you've done your best to completely split the seams. But she remembers enough to let out a hard breath and nod. ]

She was, um... she was younger than me. A lot younger. She was still in grade school... so that made me the older sister by about ten years. I used to walk her to school or take her out places on the weekends and...

[ She trails off slowly and then huffs in frustration. Just tearing into the dirt isn't giving her any satisfaction anymore so she might as well actually get planting some seeds. ]

I still... I don't even know what happened. Or... how it happened, I should say.

[There it was again, that faint echo of something almost nostalgic. The recollection of sharp blue eyes and dark red hair, warping back and forth before the Citadel in streaks of crimson. Stumbling on occasion, but always back up in an instant as though taking his brother's laughter as a challenge.]

[Had Izunia ever thought about those days, after banishing his own brother?]

...

[It wasn't practical to talk like this, with how much taller Ardyn already was. Luscinia's wings fluttered briefly again as Ardyn knelt down next to Yuuri, watching and listening to her in momentary silence.]

If you're ready to leap to blaming yourself, I would have to say that's terribly stupid when you've no recollection of the situation.

I wish I did. At least then... maybe then I really could tell myself it wasn't all my fault. Or that it couldn't be helped. Right now, I'm just...

[ She can't really justify going at the soil anymore so she starts planting the seeds. One from each packet in an alternating pattern until she hits the end of the row. ]

I should've known better. Whatever happened. Back when she was small, I used to take her out on walks with me. And one time, when my back was turned she just... disappeared. I was nearly sick with worry and I ended up finding her in the next town over. She'd been chasing after her hat after it'd blown away in the wind.

A little girl like that... I should've known better. I should've been able to do something to protect her. What sort of sister am I if I couldn't even do that?!

[That got a wry half-smile to break through the exhausted blank look on Ardyn's face. What kind of brother or sister would turn their back long enough to miss something obvious?]

A fallible one, I would imagine.

... I... I should've been better though.

[ Because that's what it comes down to. If anything had happened to Ruu, a girl under her own protection then it had to have been by a failure on her part. What sort of awful failure is she, to have messed up enough to get her little sister killed?

It hurts even more that she can't even remember how. ]

She deserved to be safe. Even if she couldn't have a normal life anymore, I could've at least made her happy with the one we could have. And now... she doesn't even have a chance of that anymore.

You're being foolish and you know it, Yuuri. [The pigeon fluttered from Ardyn's shoulder to Yuuri's, cuddling in close and preening lightly at her hair.]

You expect yourself to have been able to shield her from all harm. Shouldered all burdens so that she would never have to, protected her against the world and all threats that lay within it. In other words, to do the impossible all for her sake.

[Ardyn's right hand curled into a loose fist, the spark of that bitter anger briefly returning to his eyes if not his voice.]

That's all an elder sibling should expect of themselves. And yet, any human would falter along the way.

[ She opens her mouth to protest because no matter what Ardyn says, she was the older sister. It was her responsibility to do something, anything. But the pigeon startles her enough to make her hold her tongue and she closes it again.

It's one thing to falter. To make a mistake. It's another to lose her altogether. But... doesn't he have a point?

Yuuri Wakasa is and has only ever been human. There's only so much she can expect from herself. No matter how much it pains her to admit that. ]

... I still... I just want to know what happened. I'm so scared that it'll come to me and I'll find out she was... hurt and scared. If-- if it had to happen at all, then I don't want to think she suffered.

There's nothing that you'll be able to do to change it, should that be what transpires. What will you do then? Drown in your own regret?

[The calm tone did nothing to hide that Ardyn's words themselves were harsh and cold. The truth hurt--and unlike the savior he was, the tired and worn down apocalypse was not one to deliver that carefully.]

Or will you face that you're alive while she isn't--no matter the circumstances that will remain the case--and throw off that useless weight of regret in favor of letting failure teach you to never make the same mistake twice?

[ Drowning in her own regret sounds nice, she thinks. Maybe it'd be a fitting punishment. But it'd be much too easy.

She hates him for being right. For sounding so reasonable. She's resented Ardyn for his coolness, his calm before now but she's never so vehemently hated him as she does right now. Hated his inhumanity, hated his inability to understand that it didn't matter if she couldn't change anything. It still hurt. Ruu was still gone. She didn't need to be reminded that dwelling on it would help no one. Least of all her or Ruu.

She draws in all that bitterness with a long breath and tells herself that if she still hates him this much when she lets it out, then she'll tell him just what she thinks. But just as expected, when Yuuri exhales her anger goes with it. All that's left is exhaustion and a dull grief throbbing in her throat. ]

... I can't... do anything for Ruu-chan. [ Saying it, admitting it feels like spitting barbed wire. ] But... I can do something here. I can do everything in my power to make sure I don't fail anyone else like that.

[Part of him--those broken shards of a shattered thing that had once been human--understood more than Yuuri might know. Buried deeply beneath the venomous fury he felt when he thought of his brother, Ardyn wondered if the younger of the two had ever thought of the past. If he ever remembered his elder brother teaching him to hold a sword, how to warp and craft magic. Had he ever looked to the distance half-expecting to see Philomela's black feathers and her rider returning from some distant afflicted town?]

[Had Izunia Lucis Caelum died with regrets, after years on the throne? Had he died in battle, or simply from the march of time that left his forsaken brother untouched?]

[Ardyn didn't know. And he didn't know if he ever wanted to find out.]

Precisely. That's...the only option left to us, right now.

... I made a promise. To Mai-chan.

[ Back when this had all started. She'd looked Mai in the eyes while she sentenced the girl to her death and she'd said I promise you. I'm going to live. ]

If I gave up now, I'd be throwing her away like she was nothing. Now I just have to do the same for Ruu-chan. I have to make sure I live and I'll drag you all along with me if I have to. I'm not giving up on me or anyone else. Not anymore.

[ She sucks in a breath, holds it and then exhales again. Then she cracks a tiny smile. ]

... thank you. I needed to hear that.

Don't thank me for merely stating the obvious, Yuuri.

You didn't have to bother sitting with me and saying it, though. That's what I'm thanking you for.

[ 'so, there'. ]

... How is everyone else doing today? I've... only really talked to Junpei.

Managing, as usual. Heart seems to be having some trouble, but last I checked he'll more than likely recover well enough. Past that, I've not noticed much. [He seemed indifferent, but answered honestly enough; Ardyn had been trying to keep to himself today, with basically no success.]

The usual sort of Sunday, then.

[ ... she lets that hang for a moment before giving a sigh and scraping her messy bangs back from her face ]

I can't believe that. This is just "the usual" now.

It's far from an ideal routine, that goes without saying. There has to be some disruption to it soon--it's not probable that things keep going so according to his plans.

Friday was already a bit of a difference, wasn't it? No one to execute, for once.

... Kip-san, too. I don't think all that happened according to plan,

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week 6

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