and every broken heart will mend

[scourgingstars]

[Not too long after the trial, a note found its way under everyone's doors, all of them written in the same neat handwriting that had been asking after a ring not that long ago.]

If any of you would prefer not to be left alone after all of that, I propose we meet in the dining hall. Nari has taken up cooking at the moment, and should anyone wish to talk I will be present regardless of whether or not the group at large should choose to join us.

-Ardyn

[True to his word, Ardyn was at a smaller table in the dining hall with an untouched cup of coffee in front of him; lost in thought leaning his head on one hand as the other turned a silver coin over between his fingers.]

[King in an empty hall, and savior of nothing. All that effort to prevent bloodshed, and it had come down to a situation designed to force their hand from the beginning.]

Comments

[plugout]

Riiiight.

[ He fixes her with a look that's very close to concerned. He wants to ask her if she's okay, but that's a dumb question and he realizes it, so-- ]

Are... are you okay?

[ Oh, god. ]

[everylittlesecret]

[.......]

I'm alive, aren't I? That usually means someone is okay.

[plugout]

... Yeah, that was a dumb question.

[ Wow, he is... really not equipped for this kind of thing. Okay. He can at least try--he's good at that. ]

Just... because you're alive doesn't mean you're okay.

[everylittlesecret]

[Sorry, she's a mess right now, and pushing people away is one of two ways she deals with this.]

... I'll be fine. Someone has to be. For everyone's sake.

[plugout]

[ He makes a very, very quiet, almost inaudible but frustrated noise. ]

That's-- that's a really bad idea.

[everylittlesecret]

What's a bad idea, Rhys.

[She be getting slowly mad.]

[plugout]

Maybe ignoring the fact that you're not okay?

[everylittlesecret]

Yeah? What would acknowledging it do? There's nothing I can do about it, so I'd rather ignore it and keep going. It's called being an adult.

[plugout]

It'd keep you from blowing up, probably! Look, I-- I'm just saying, you don't have to let anyone know that you're letting out your feelings, okay? Just-- there are people here who like you, okay?

[everylittlesecret]

After that trial? The only people I know who aren't mad at me are the logical people, i.e. Roland and Junpei, Queenie who is too good for any of us, and Nishitani. I doubt anyone else likes me, and those four know well enough to let me deal with my own problems.

[Not that they... haven't tried during these past two weeks to help. Nishitani has gotten backstory more out of Nari than anyone else.]

[plugout]

I'm not mad.

[ He says it completely seriously. He's... okay, he's a little mad, but that's for a certain reason named "Angel." ]

I just-- people said a lot of stuff back-- back there-- [ He grimaces, and even turns a little green. Mai... But, he doesn't toss his cookies or anything. Rhys recovers after a moment. ] --but you've helped us out a lot, so...

[ He rubs the back of his neck.

He's so bad at this. ]

[everylittlesecret]

... I'm doing what I can for the good of the group. For the good of people like Finn and Arianna, people who shouldn't be here. So don't thank me for that. All I'm good for is the things I've been raised to do, and if that means playing medical examiner each time some dumbass decides to knock someone off, then so be it. If I have to play this role of being the gracious host at a wake, then I'll do it.

[She looks at what was cooking at the stove.]

I don't need to be comforted or thanked. Just... don't do something stupid. Don't make your body the next one I have to figure out what killed them.

[plugout]

[ People who shouldn't be here. Finn. Arianna. Angel. ... Mai, Mikaela. Every time he thinks about the two girls, there's a sour taste in his mouth and a twisting feeling in his gut. His hand is shaking, and he clenches it into a tight fist. He has no reason to get upset, right? So...

This is frustrating as all hell. ]

Just because it's a part you think you have to play doesn't mean you don't deserve to be thanked. Not... not everyone can do that kind of thing.

[ He should know. ]

[everylittlesecret]

.... yeah, I noticed. Which just drives home that someone needs to be fine, to keep this going. As much as Cannibal Dad, Tenmeowji, and Adrian try to be the leaders in this place, they wouldn't be anything without someone staying sane and fine. If you want to thank me, wait till we're the fuck out of this place. Maybe I'll accept it then.

[There is no such thing as middle ground with this girl. Sorry, Rhys.]

[plugout]

[ ..... ]

So you're just gonna suffer alone, seriously? That's-- that's insane.

[everylittlesecret]

Wanna know something? I've been suffering alone since I realized what it was like to suffer alone. I'm good at it. It's what I get for being the freak baby of the family. There's no changing things for me, and I've accepted that. Why can't anyone else?

[plugout]

Maybe because no one actually wants to be alone or suffering? Not-- not really.

[everylittlesecret]

Might not want it, but it's my lot in life.

[plugout]

It doesn't have to be like that here!

[everylittlesecret]

And why the fuck not? Why the fuck can't I make that decision? I'm an adult. You're not my dad. Why the fuckity fuck would you even damn well care.

[plugout]

Because you have friends here! I'm not telling you to do anything, I'm just telling you to stop being stupid and let your friends be friends!

[everylittlesecret]

[She opens her mouth, then shuts it. It takes a few minutes before she finally does respond.]

Get your coffee and get out. Or I will hurt you.

[plugout]

Fine.

[ He gets his coffee, maybe a little more violently than intended... but at least he doesn't break anything.

And he leaves, without another word. ]